Please help ! I may lose my mother

[dvs_trrl]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Alabama
My mother is currently being held in a Alabama jail house. earlier today her and my sister got into a argument (my sister came home at 5 in the morning,)and my mother ht her with a cord. whelps were left on my sister. my mother is being held for twelve hours today. her charge is domestic violence 2nd degree, THIS IS HER 1ST OFFENSE. im only 17 & i desperately want to know hat she is facing. could the charges possibly be reduced.

we've been in contact with a friend that works in the sheriffs office & he says she may only receive anger management classes, pay a fine, and maybe probation. she may have the option to plead to a lesser charge. this is the first time anything like this has happened. my mother is a teacher and may lose her job( this is a felony charge) my sister no longer wants to press charges but the police department says there isn't anything she can do. how long before this case will go to trial(if it goes that far. PLEASE HELP, I DONT KNWO WHAT ELSE TO DO.

 

[TheGeekess]

http://alisondb.legislature.state.al.us/acas/CodeOfAlabama/1975/147495.htm

 

[stealth2]

In all honesty, if your mother were a teacher in my kids' school? I would not want her in contact with my children.

I would suggest you speak with your father and/or your grandparents to see who would be willing to help secure an attorney for your Mom - she's going to need one.

 

[Hot Topic]

Who called the police?

This may be the first time that your mother has been arrested, but I doubt it's the first time she has physically abused your sister or you. Leaving welts on someone's body is an act of violence that screams domestic abuse and that your mother seriously needs professional help.

If it's a felony, she may not get probation.

I suggest you call the National Domestic Violence hotline at 1-800-799-7233 to see if they have any suggestions for what might happen to your mother.

 

[stealth2]

This may be the first time that your mother has been arrested, but I doubt it's the first time she has physically abused your sister or you. Leaving welts on someone's body is an act of violence that screams domestic abuse and that your mother seriously needs professional help.

I have to agree. There has obviously been an ongoing problem - one doesn't resort to whipping their child the first time they misbehave. Most people don't ever resort to whipping their child, regardless of the provocation. That this mother is also a teacher - and so out of control in her reactions - is extremely disturbing.

 

[TheGeekess]

Corporal punishment is not against the law in Alabama, but if bruises, etc are left, then that goes beyond corporal punishment.

 

[eerelations]

I practically drove my poor mother insane when I was a teenager and she never so much as slapped me. Lots of noise but no physical contact of any kind. To go from no physical contact to whipping is 'way too big a jump to be believeable.

 

[Hot Topic]

It also seems to me that the mother intentionally looked for the "right" object with which to punish her daughter. She didn't haul off and slap or punch her. She found a cord that she could use to raise welts on the girl's body with, which would tend to prolong the suffering. I can't imagine what it must be like to lay there wondering when the cord was going to hit me again and how many times after that.

I can't imagine a parent who would tolerate someone who physically abuses their own children to continue teaching. I hope the school system does the right thing, and I hope someone in the social services system does the right thing for the OP and her sister.

 

[Finished2010]

dvs_trrl, As suggested call a family member and ask them to get a consult with an attorney to see what you mother could be facing. Have there been any other problems between your mother and your sister? Is this the first time your mother has hit her?

I think to say that mom looked for the object that would prolong her suffering is unfair. When she lost her temper I feel it may just have been what was in her reach or the first thing she saw. Not saying I think its ok to hit your children with cords, it was wrong, but she probably had been up all night, worried sick and when lil miss thang came in mom lost it. I know when I was a teenager I came home at 3 am. I came through the front door and walked into the dining room where my mom sat with a glass of tea, when she saw me I saw the relief then I saw the anger, then she threw her tea in my face(not the glass, contents only). I am not sure what I said but she then smacked me across the face. It was her reaction, her throwing tea in my face was just a reaction. And the smack, well I believe I earned that. My bet is that mom saw daughter, maybe they exchanged words and mom lost it. I don't think she went on a search for an object to inflict as much pain as she could. I agree that she should have remained calm, but I do not think she is a threat to her students and shouldn't lose her job. I highly doubt she would act in such a way to her students, she loves her kids and emotions like love can make you do some crazy things, her students she may care for but they wouldn't invoke that much feeling in her. She would not be as worried about a student as she would her own child. The poster says this is the first time anything like this has happened,so maybe some anger management for mom and a good long grounding for daughter. Either way it is a sad situation, mom and daughter need to talk it out, mom needs to know that hitting her daughters with whatever is in reach is not a good idea and daughter needs to understand that rules are set for her own safety and must be followed. Just to clarify, I do not condone violence with children,But I really think this is just a case where a worried, very tired mom lost her cool and made a really bad decision. I hope it all works out well for them.

 

[stealth2]

There is a huge difference between throwing a cup of tea and slapping someone, and whipping them hard enough to cause welts. The former is shock and anger; the latter is anger to the point of being out of control.

And I'm sorry, no - I would not want someone who whips their own child in charge of mine. Even if it was only the once.

 

[Hot Topic]

So, you think that the first thing she saw was a lamp and she pulled the cord off to beat her daughter with? Or do you believe that she had a bunch of cords lying around just in case?

Emotions like love can make you do some crazy things? Do you realize how many people who physically abuse those they supposedly love probably say the same thing?

I guess you didn't see the video of a teacher beating up a student. It was on the news here.

Bravo to your mother who threw her tea in your face, then hit you. She apparently helped shape your belief that physical violence and love can be one and the same thing.

 

[HomeGuru]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Alabama
My mother is currently being held in a Alabama jail house. earlier today her and my sister got into a argument (my sister came home at 5 in the morning,)and my mother ht her with a cord. whelps were left on my sister. my mother is being held for twelve hours today. her charge is domestic violence 2nd degree, THIS IS HER 1ST OFFENSE. im only 17 & i desperately want to know hat she is facing. could the charges possibly be reduced.

we've been in contact with a friend that works in the sheriffs office & he says she may only receive anger management classes, pay a fine, and maybe probation. she may have the option to plead to a lesser charge. this is the first time anything like this has happened. my mother is a teacher and may lose her job( this is a felony charge) my sister no longer wants to press charges but the police department says there isn't anything she can do. how long before this case will go to trial(if it goes that far. PLEASE HELP, I DONT KNWO WHAT ELSE TO DO.

**A: what a drama queen. You are not going to lose your mother.

 

[dvs_trrl]

Reply

1. this is not me being a drama queen. so you can shut that up. 2. in fact this is the FIRST time she has ever left whelps. of course we used to get whipping when we did things bad things. 3.she loves to teach ! my sister cam home at 5 in the morning after we had called her all night, my mother had placed a missing person report. she is 19, so she is no longer a child. but she stills lives under my mother roof. & I REPEAT: THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENDED BEFORE. ALSO she didnt purposly walk around looking for a cord. it was a heat of the moment thing. and my sister didnt lay there getting hit. she was struck 2 maybe 3 times. i;m not saying my mother was right, but im also not saying my sister was right either. but thanks for all the help

 

[Hot Topic]

This is the first time that your mother has ever left welts (not "whelps")? I think you may be saying more about how your mother disciplines you and your sister than you mean to. And I think you're adding things to make your mother look better.

No one said your mother didn't like to teach. A poster has said that she wouldn't want your mother around her children. That's a completely reasonable response to what your mother did to your sister.

It's my understanding that 24 hours have to pass before the police will file a missing person's report, so I'm not sure I believe that the police automatically filed one just because your mother indicated it was.

Your sister may be 19 and old enough to be on her own, but that doesn't give your mother the right to use a cord on her until she raises welts.

And do I believe that a cord just happened to be laying around and and your mother was able to control her anger to the point that she only struck your sister "two or three times?" What do you think?

I think you're in a state of denial.

 

[Proserpina]

1. this is not me being a drama queen. so you can shut that up. 2. in fact this is the FIRST time she has ever left whelps. of course we used to get whipping when we did things bad things. 3.she loves to teach ! my sister cam home at 5 in the morning after we had called her all night, my mother had placed a missing person report. she is 19, so she is no longer a child. but she stills lives under my mother roof. & I REPEAT: THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENDED BEFORE. ALSO she didnt purposly walk around looking for a cord. it was a heat of the moment thing. and my sister didnt lay there getting hit. she was struck 2 maybe 3 times. i;m not saying my mother was right, but im also not saying my sister was right either. but thanks for all the help

So this isn't the first time you've all been physically disciplined; it's just this time Mom found a new tool.

You ALL need to be in counseling, including Mom for her obvious anger issues.