please help me? (continued)

[lcarter21]

What is the name of your state? PA

(this is the continuation from my previous post)
For example just last month i got married and the night of my wedding he got very drunk. My mother did too and she passed out on the couch shortly after they returned home. My sister was up in her room getting ready for bed when dave barges in (while she's getting undressed mind you) and demands she gives him her cell phone. (he likes to go through it and see who she talks to and read her text messages) She told him she did not know where it was and he flipped out. He started trashing her room. He threw her matress off her bed, ripped all her pictres off her wall, threw her against her wall, cleared the top of her dresser with his arm, smashed anything that was breakable, ripped her alarm clock out of the wall, all while he was screaming and cursing at her. He then proceeded to drag her by her arm down two flights of steps and throw her out the front door at 11pm with just sweat pants and a t-shirt on. No shoes or socks. And told her not to come back. All because she did not have her cell phone to give him (which we found out later was in my mom's purse the whole time) (oh and my mom was still passed out on the livingroom couch which is directly under my sisters bedroom and did not hear a sound the entire time) So she came to my house histerical crying and told my husband and i what happened. She had a huge red mark on her arm from him. My husband called my mom's house and was like look this is not the first time she's come here crying because of you, if you dont' want her to live there then fine. We'll come get her stuff in the morning and she can live here. Well Dave starts screaming into the phone who do you think you are calling me in the middle of the night (him and my mother had gone to bed. my mother didn't even know my sister was not home) your not telling us how to raise our kid. So my husband can hear how drunk he still is and not wanting to fight with him simply hangs up. A few minutes later my mother calls back saying that dave told her my sister ran away and that she was coming to pick her up. I started telling her what my sister had said happened and told her about the big red mark on her arm and all and my mother just kept insisting on picking her up because dave wanted her home. Knowing they were both drunk and that all they were going to do was fight and yell at my sister i kept insisting that my sister just spend the night and we settle this in the morning like adults and when they were sober. My mom refused and 10 minutes later was out front of my house demanding that if my sister didnt come out and go home with her she would go in my house and drag her out by her hair. Mind you this was my wedding night. My mom and i argued a little longer but with nothing more to say and i didnt want to call the cops because she was clearly drunk and had driven to my house i did not want her to get arrested (i know i should have called) i told my sister she had to go with her. But i also told her to call me 1st thing in the morning and that if anything happened that night to call the cops then me and we would explain the prior events to the cops when we got there. She agreed and left. On the way home my mom beat her in the car. This was the night of July 29th and since then my sister has been forbidden to talk to me. Dave took her cell phone away and they are supposedly having the phone company print them out a log of all their incoming and outgoing calls so they'll know if my sister or i call the house. I talked to her once on the phone and dave found out and screamed at her for an hour. I don't want her living there any longer. She does not want to live there any longer. My mother is not even the same person any more because she has been dealing with his mental abuse for so long that he has just wore her down. Anything he says she does. She is constantly making up excuses and lies for his behavior. I am in fear of my sisters safety. Every time he drinks he gets out of hand. He still makes inappropriate comments to her like asking her to show him her boobs and making sexualy remarks. I want to know exactly what i have to do to file for custody of her. My husband is totally supportive and we want her to come live with us. We have a 2 bedroom apartment in a good neighborhood. We have a 1 1/2 yr old daughter but we would move her into our master bedroom so my sister could have her own room. We've been saving up and are looking to buy a 3 bedroom house at the end of next summer but it can't wait that long. I know she's already 16 but she can't live there another two years. She hates it. She cries to me all the time how mean dave is to her and how she can't take it and how my mother wont do anything. She always takes dave's side, always believes him over us and always outs him first. It is not safe for her to live with them and my mom is not being a very good mother. She does not care what he does to my sister mentally or physically and i can't sit back and watch it any longer. I got out and now i want to get her out too. Please let me know if i have a case here and what i have to do. I will do anything!!

[greivingspouse]

lcarter21;
One word, WOW!! I'm surpised you two have survived that ordeal. First, Contact Child Proective Services and get her into a safe place. Second, the money you save for the house would better serve as attorney's fees. Contact the Pa. Bar Assoc. and request attorney referral service, they will assist you in locating an attorney that will best suit your needs. Next, Per the best intrest of your sister, petition the court for guardianship of your sister. The court will take into consideration where and with whom she chooses to live. Dave has no say in this but be ready to fight your mother in court and be ready to prove everything you acuse her of. Remember, Dave has nothing to do with it and has no say. You will have to go after your mother's parental rights. Once she loses her rights, she no longer has control over your sister and as her guardian you will. Make sure your sister understands this very clearly. You are doing this for her safety, If things are as bad as you say, she should have no problem complying. I wish you all the best and I hope she is still okay. God Bless.

[Ohiogal]

Originally Posted by greivingspouse

lcarter21;
One word, WOW!! I'm surpised you two have survived that ordeal. First, Contact Child Proective Services and get her into a safe place. Second, the money you save for the house would better serve as attorney's fees. Contact the Pa. Bar Assoc. and request attorney referral service, they will assist you in locating an attorney that will best suit your needs. Next, Per the best intrest of your sister, petition the court for guardianship of your sister. The court will take into consideration where and with whom she chooses to live. Dave has no say in this but be ready to fight your mother in court and be ready to prove everything you acuse her of. Remember, Dave has nothing to do with it and has no say. You will have to go after your mother's parental rights. Once she loses her rights, she no longer has control over your sister and as her guardian you will. Make sure your sister understands this very clearly. You are doing this for her safety, If things are as bad as you say, she should have no problem complying. I wish you all the best and I hope she is still okay. God Bless.

The sister's word is going to do nothing to change custody. MOm better be proven legally unfit. And that means proof for EVERYTHING alleged. Mom's rights are always going to be superior to sisters. CPS is not just going to remove sis without actual evidence that something is severely wrong. The time to have called CPS was the night of the wedding.

[stealth2]

I'm surprised that either of you waded through those two post. OP - paragraphs are your friends. Please use them. Most people aren't going to bother trying to read your posts as written.

[lcarter21]

Thanks for your quick resonse. I know i should have taken action the night everything happened but usually after an incident everyone just pretneds like nothing happened and act "normal". As far as provong anything against my mom i have many witness accounts from neighbors, family members and friends as to the way dave treats us and how my mom does nothing. We do have proof of the restaining order we had gotten but that was 3 years ago. My sister did take pictures of her room after he trashed it. But thats another thing i needed help with was how else to prove things. I was going to get the child support paper work and then get all my paper work proving i did not get the support and basically took care of myself to show that she didnt have my best interests in mind but i wasn't sure if that would really help. I know my mother will stop at nothing to get her way and she will lie and manipulate the court if it ever got that far so i know i'm going to need lots of paper work to catch her in her lies. She has committed several acts of fraud over the years so i didn't know if that could help prove character. I'm just not sure as to what my next step should be. And i can't wait for another violent outburst to call the cops.

[Ohiogal]

YOu are going to have to. You have let opportunities slip by. The word of neighbors is not enough -- there has to be something MORE to prove legal unfitness. Be it the condition of the house, arrests by mom and stepdad that show they are a danger to sis...