Psycho Ex

[ninatbs]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

I have a legal separation from my ex. He recently found out I was seeing someone and has gone completely psycho. He threatens me and tells me he will kill the man I am seeing. He says if I file a restraining order he will shoot me in the head. If I go to the police he will kill me and take my kids. He is obsessed by the person I was dating and says he will track him and kill him if I ever contact him again or if he contacts me. He calls me and harresses me daily about where I am, what I am doing, if I have been seeing anyone. He tells me if I contact social services he will kill me. He is so crazy I believe him. No one can help me. Before when I called the police on domestic violence they did nothing. No one will help me. I am so depressed and I am having a nervous breakdown. I only work and go home. I can't even see my friends or my new man who I was in love with.

 

[CdwJava]

You can either surrender to his bullying, or you can stand up, report it to the police, and seek a restraining order for yourself and the kids.

No one can do this for you. If you are that scared, perhaps you need to make the report and get the assistance of Victim-Witness and relocate for a time to a place where he does not know about. You need help and you can get that through DV resource agencies, county and state victim-witness programs, from the police, social services, etc.

If you choose to do nothing, you can remain scared and cowering and he will be in control. Until you choose to take some action, you will remain in fear.

What you describe could constitute criminal threats (PC 422 - a serious and violent felony), annoying and harassing communications (PC 653m - a misdemeanor), and even stalking (another serious and violent felony per PC 646.9). Does that mean he will be rolled up and tossed into jail after you make the report? Probably not. But, if there is any proof of these threats at all, then it will come soon enough. If there is no proof, do not answer his calls - let him leave voice messages, save his texts and e-mails, etc. Get the proof. And, get the restraining order. After the TRO is issued any violation will make him subject to arrest.

 

[DAD10]

Obtain a TRO/RO-These are serious allegations. Continue on with your life.
Its his problem-when a relationship ends its a matter of time-before your ex starts seeing others or vice-versa.
Again protect yourself as noted by CdwJava.

 

[ninatbs]

What is a TRO? I have no doubts he will come after me, my boyfriend and anyone else who tries to stop him if I file against him. He has gone completely psychotic. He knows where I live, where I work, where my boyfriend lives. He has hacked our emails, followed me. He said he will dedicate his life to killing us both. I know it is true. I file a RO and I am dead.

 

[Hot Topic]

You presumably posted here because you wanted help. If you chose to ignore CdwJava's advice, there's nothing anyone here can do for you.

 

[Just Blue]

What is a TRO? I have no doubts he will come after me, my boyfriend and anyone else who tries to stop him if I file against him. He has gone completely psychotic. He knows where I live, where I work, where my boyfriend lives. He has hacked our emails, followed me. He said he will dedicate his life to killing us both. I know it is true. I file a RO and I am dead.

So...What is it you want fro this forum? We advised you on your legal options and you don't want to follow them...So what exactly do you want?

 

[CdwJava]

What is a TRO?

That is a Temporary Restraining Order. It is a court order that can be issued to order him to avoid contact with you and stay away. If he violates it, he can go directly to jail.

I have no doubts he will come after me, my boyfriend and anyone else who tries to stop him if I file against him.

Then seek assistance in moving to a secure location, buy a big dog, or buy a gun.

If you do nothing, you will continue to live in fear and your children may one day be taken from you for your failure to protect them from him.

He has gone completely psychotic. He knows where I live, where I work, where my boyfriend lives. He has hacked our emails, followed me. He said he will dedicate his life to killing us both. I know it is true. I file a RO and I am dead.

You have the options. You can choose to continue to live in fear, or you can act to protect yourself. Your third option is to simply sneak away in the dead of night ... though he will probably then go to the cops and seek charges against you for child stealing, and with nothing to back up your allegations of abuse, guess what will happen when the cops find you?

There are numerous resources to help you. If you do not wish to help yourself out of this situation, at least send the kids off to somewhere safe.

 

[neopandora]

You have received great advice

Nina,

You really should listen to the excellent advice you have been given on this forum. I've personally been in a very similar situation and through my job I routinely see other similar situations. For me, it became a realization that to me there were fates worse than death (him controlling every aspect of my life through fear) and I might not could stop him from hurting or ultimately killing me, but he wasn't going to do it without every legal fight I could muster.

Take the advice offered to you - do everything within your legal power - and be smart by taking every precaution you can to protect yourself.

 

[Hot Topic]

The OP will probably never read your advice. Her post is dated April 13th. This is May 7th.