Removing a restraining order

[independentshed]

I live in South Carolina and wanted to know how I can have a restraining order modified or removed against my fiance by the Department of Social Services. They placed a "no contact" order against him for a non-sexual child abuse charge against my daughter. He has never layed a hand on me, any of my kids, his own son or previous wife before. What happened was truely an accident. He doesn't drink or do drugs, he had a lapse in judgement and my daughter got hurt!

It has been a tough few months but we are following the order to the letter. But the order also has made it difficult to maintain my lifestyle. I haven't been able to go to church, my daughter has lost th connection with his mother , her grandmother, aunts, and cousins because he lives in the house with them now .We are no longer able to attend sunday dinners or other family events because of the order. Are these valid reasons to have an order changed or are DSS orders final? What if we leave the state?

 

[Proserpina]

I live in South Carolina and wanted to know how I can have a restraining order modified or removed against my fiance by the Department of Social Services. They placed a "no contact" order against him for a non-sexual child abuse charge against my daughter. He has never layed a hand on me, any of my kids, his own son or previous wife before. What happened was truely an accident. He doesn't drink or do drugs, he had a lapse in judgement and my daughter got hurt!

It has been a tough few months but we are following the order to the letter. But the order also has made it difficult to maintain my lifestyle. I haven't been able to go to church, my daughter has lost th connection with his mother , her grandmother, aunts, and cousins because he lives in the house with them now .We are no longer able to attend sunday dinners or other family events because of the order. Are these valid reasons to have an order changed or are DSS orders final? What if we leave the state?

What exactly DID he do?

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

What exactly DID he do?

Apparently enough to get Child Services involved... I'd like to know as well, what is the wording of the OFP? Minus the names, it would be important to interpret this correctly, I don't believe that (unless the order says differently) you wouldn't be able to go anywhere or do anything (which is what you make it sound like), but that whoever got their first gets to stay, KWIM?

SO, OP, what does the order say, what did he do? How HURT was your child that you say he's NEVER raised a hand to?

 

[st-kitts]

It has been a tough few months but we are following the order to the letter. I haven't been able to go to church, my daughter has lost th connection with his mother , her grandmother, aunts, and cousins because he lives in the house with them now .We are no longer able to attend sunday dinners or other family events because of the order. Are these valid reasons to have an order changed or are DSS orders final? What if we leave the state?

The first question that comes to my mind reading your question is - "why do you and your daughter have to change, why not him?" If he admits that this was a terrible accident, why is he asking you and your daughter to bear the consequences? Could your fiance modify his social activities so that the order doesn't impact your daughter so much? For example, assuming he isn't the pastor, couldn't he attend church at a different time so that your daughter's church attendance isn't impacted. Could he give up (some) family dinners or events so that you daughter isn't excluded?

You could approach an attorney and get their opinion on whether DSS is likely to change the order, but I seriously doubt it. If anything, when I read your question it feels as if you and your daughter are being punished and blamed for whatever happened. I don't think this will be a selling point to change the order for DSS. I truly worry that this child is going to feel that she is being punished. I hope you have her in counseling.

 

[stealth2]

when I read your question it feels as if you and your daughter are being punished and blamed for whatever happened.

And, to me, it feels like she's taking blame for it and punishing her daughter as well. Just as fiance could attend Church at a different time, so could Mom/child. Mom could also initiate contact with the family at a different time - and realistically, if Mom & fiance were to split up (due to this incident or something else), the child would likely lose much contact with his family anyway.

At the end of the day, there is too little info to provide any real input.