Hi Ivj. I was going to get into that (what you're asking) in my first contact with you, but I thought "no... right now -- their safety is most important -- just get her to protective services".
(I didn't want to cloud the issue with too much info.) Yes....they will "open a case", but don't let the term "case" scare you. Look at in terms of them "giving you and your child assistance and keeping a record". The Department of Social Services (at least in NC) is a wonderful place. Many people associate SS with "the end". It's a new beginninig, actually, and many families can attest to the good they've gained from SS's help and intervention. I can see why you wouldn't want to open a can of worms with family members. Afterall, they're family, and regardless of all the fighting and fussing, there's also a lot of bonds, love, and support there. Social Services has many programs designed to help families in situations such as yours. Your grandmother, aunt, and uncle may not want to participate, and if they don't -- that's OK. You are, and from making a committment and from persistence, you'll gain everything positive from this experience that you hope for now. Just tell a counselor at Social Services why you are seeking their help. You can even tell them you were encouraged by a friend to seek their help. Begin your story, and let them know you're nervous and scared. (you have a reason to be, actually, cause it 'ain't' easy taking this step). They will give you the information you need to know on domestic violence and shelters available to you and your child in the event you need housing. They will probably ask you about the degree of assault, what happened, if the police were called, if any arrests were made, the names of those who assaulted you, what the child assaulted, (they'll ask you a bunch of questions). They will refer you to a counselor for domestic violence issues. Go. It will be a good journey. If you've got skeletons in your closet but are living an OK life now (i.e. no illegal activity going on in the home or in your personal life), don't worry about an investigation. If you're lifestyle now includes illegal drugs, this might become an issue for you where the child is concerned. That is dealt with individually and depending on the severity of drug addiction (or recreational use) and whether or not the parent is willing to make a change. I always advise someone: If you've got a child and you're into drugs, make a change. Here's an example of what change can do. I've got 17 years under my belt, and I wouldn't change a day clean EVER for a day using. I had a two year old at my side when I was threatened by my family that they would "take him away". Today, now that I can look back, I am so glad they threatened me. You see, I dropped out of highschool when I was 16 and ran away from home. And I mean I ran far and stayed gone for many years -- lived on the streets in the 70's and 80's. Got pregnant, came back home, made a decision to turn my life around; got my GED, went on to get two college degrees (the last, RN degree). Much of life today, I owe to the people at the Department of Social Services. Point being, there is help regardless of your situation. One just has to admit they need help and then go get it.
Wishing you and your kid (and all your family) the best.
hmmbrdzz
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RESPONDING TO POST:
Thank you so much for your advice. I actually thought about contacting Protective Services, but I guess I'm paranoid or something. I've heard that once you're in the system, it's hard to get out of it. I have absolutely no worries in regards to losing my son, but I don't want to open a can of worms, so to speak. If I do approach Protective Services, will they open a case up on me? Or will they immediately investigate? I don't want to appear as if I'm guilty or something.
Thanks in advance.
lvj