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  1. #1
    llexxii Guest

    Question Restraining Order Against Immediate Family

    What is the name of your state? Ohio

    My aunt, and grandmother physically assaulted me and threatened to take my nine year-old son away from me. I also have another uncle that has threatened bodily harm via telephone. I've written a letter to my son's prinicipal in an attempt to prevent these individuals from taking my son from school. I've also filled out paperwork in an attempt to obtain a restraining order. Will this be enough to prevent them from contacting my son, and I in any way? They are very abusive, but they are immediate family. Do they have any rights as far as being able to have a relationship my son?

    Please advise at your earliest convenience.
  2. #2
    hmmbrdzz Guest
    If you 're the mother of the child, your grandmother and/or aunt (under any circumstances) have no legal right to make contact with or take your child anywhere against your wishes or without your permission. If there's no restraining order in place, they can contact you all day long. If you want no contact with these people, get a restraining order. If they assault you again, have them arrested. They do not have any right to have a relationship with your child if you don't want them to -- period. If they believe that the child's welfare is at stake in your care, they would have to go through child protective services or either pay an attorney a whole lot of money to take the child away from you or to gain visitation rights. If the child is not being cared for properly by you and you're reported to child protective services by your family, you will be evaluated by Child Protective Services. Your aunt and grandmother sound pretty tough if they've assaulted you. They may act just as vindictive and cause some more trouble for you by contacting Child Protective Services. I'd beat them to the punch. Go to Social Services and ask to speak to someone in Child Protective Services about this. Follow their advice.

    Good luck.

    hmmbrdzz



    ==============================================
    RESPONDING TO POST:

    What is the name of your state? Ohio

    My aunt, and grandmother physically assaulted me and threatened to take my nine year-old son away from me. I also have another uncle that has threatened bodily harm via telephone. I've written a letter to my son's prinicipal in an attempt to prevent these individuals from taking my son from school. I've also filled out paperwork in an attempt to obtain a restraining order. Will this be enough to prevent them from contacting my son, and I in any way? They are very abusive, but they are immediate family. Do they have any rights as far as being able to have a relationship my son?

    Please advise at your earliest convenience.
  3. #3
    llexxii Guest

    Restraining order

    Thank you so much for your advice. I actually thought about contacting Protective Services, but I guess I'm paranoid or something. I've heard that once you're in the system, it's hard to get out of it. I have absolutely no worries in regards to losing my son, but I don't want to open a can of worms, so to speak. If I do approach Protective Services, will they open a case up on me? Or will they immediately investigate? I don't want to appear as if I'm guilty or something.

    Thanks in advance.

    lvj
  4. #4
    hmmbrdzz Guest
    Hi Ivj. I was going to get into that (what you're asking) in my first contact with you, but I thought "no... right now -- their safety is most important -- just get her to protective services".
    (I didn't want to cloud the issue with too much info.) Yes....they will "open a case", but don't let the term "case" scare you. Look at in terms of them "giving you and your child assistance and keeping a record". The Department of Social Services (at least in NC) is a wonderful place. Many people associate SS with "the end". It's a new beginninig, actually, and many families can attest to the good they've gained from SS's help and intervention. I can see why you wouldn't want to open a can of worms with family members. Afterall, they're family, and regardless of all the fighting and fussing, there's also a lot of bonds, love, and support there. Social Services has many programs designed to help families in situations such as yours. Your grandmother, aunt, and uncle may not want to participate, and if they don't -- that's OK. You are, and from making a committment and from persistence, you'll gain everything positive from this experience that you hope for now. Just tell a counselor at Social Services why you are seeking their help. You can even tell them you were encouraged by a friend to seek their help. Begin your story, and let them know you're nervous and scared. (you have a reason to be, actually, cause it 'ain't' easy taking this step). They will give you the information you need to know on domestic violence and shelters available to you and your child in the event you need housing. They will probably ask you about the degree of assault, what happened, if the police were called, if any arrests were made, the names of those who assaulted you, what the child assaulted, (they'll ask you a bunch of questions). They will refer you to a counselor for domestic violence issues. Go. It will be a good journey. If you've got skeletons in your closet but are living an OK life now (i.e. no illegal activity going on in the home or in your personal life), don't worry about an investigation. If you're lifestyle now includes illegal drugs, this might become an issue for you where the child is concerned. That is dealt with individually and depending on the severity of drug addiction (or recreational use) and whether or not the parent is willing to make a change. I always advise someone: If you've got a child and you're into drugs, make a change. Here's an example of what change can do. I've got 17 years under my belt, and I wouldn't change a day clean EVER for a day using. I had a two year old at my side when I was threatened by my family that they would "take him away". Today, now that I can look back, I am so glad they threatened me. You see, I dropped out of highschool when I was 16 and ran away from home. And I mean I ran far and stayed gone for many years -- lived on the streets in the 70's and 80's. Got pregnant, came back home, made a decision to turn my life around; got my GED, went on to get two college degrees (the last, RN degree). Much of life today, I owe to the people at the Department of Social Services. Point being, there is help regardless of your situation. One just has to admit they need help and then go get it.

    Wishing you and your kid (and all your family) the best.

    hmmbrdzz

    ==============================================
    RESPONDING TO POST:

    Thank you so much for your advice. I actually thought about contacting Protective Services, but I guess I'm paranoid or something. I've heard that once you're in the system, it's hard to get out of it. I have absolutely no worries in regards to losing my son, but I don't want to open a can of worms, so to speak. If I do approach Protective Services, will they open a case up on me? Or will they immediately investigate? I don't want to appear as if I'm guilty or something.

    Thanks in advance.

    lvj
  5. #5
    stephenk is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Location
    california
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    Social Services has nothing to do with the problem you posted.

    Have you contacted the police and reported the assault and the threats? If no, why not? Go ASAP and have reports prepared.

    The restraining order will order them to not have any contact with you and your child. Any violation of the order could result in jail. When is the hearing date for the restraining order?

    Do you have a court ordered custody arrangement? Make sure your son's school has a copy of the custody order so they know not to allow others to contact your son. You should also request in writing to the school that any time these people come to the school to contact your son that you are to be notified immediately so you can come to the school and make sure they have no contact with your son.
  6. #6
    hmmbrdzz Guest
    I know you aren't from Massachesetts, but I had this in a file. Thought you might enjoy reading it for future reference on what's available through the Department of SOCIAL SERVICES to help you with your problem. If you'd like me to help you research your state's resources, let me know. Contrary to what someone has just told you -- the Dept of Social Services in MOST states has everything to do with your situation.


    FILE COPY:

    Welcome. The Massachusetts Department of Social Services (DSS) is the state's child welfare and protection agency. DSS supports families as they build upon their own strengths to nurture and protect children. We offer a variety of services to help keep children safe.
    If children are at risk of abuse or neglect, or are being harmed or neglected, we are here to help. Approximately 75% of the time, we work with families at home. In cases where children are unable to safely remain with parents, we provide temporary out of home care, with extended family whenever possible, until they can return. For those youngsters who cannot be kept secure from harm, however, DSS seeks alternate permanent situations such as adoption or guardianship.

    DSS also helps any adolescent who has been determined by a Juvenile Court to be a "Child in Need of Services." We spend time helping teenagers with their needs, which may include vocational or educational assistance and preparation for independent living.
  7. #7
    hmmbrdzz Guest
    Just some more info on what social services in VA offers:


    Anyone may report suspected child maltreatment to local departments of social services or the statewide Child Abuse and Neglect Hotline 24 hours per day, seven days a week. The hotline number within Virginia is (800) 552-7096 and (804) 786-8536 outside the state.

    Child Protective Services goal

    The goal of Child Protective Services is to identify, assess and provide services to children and families in an effort to protect children, preserve families, whenever possible, and prevent further maltreatment. Child Protective Services is non-punitive in its approach and is directed toward enabling families to provide adequate care for their children.

    Child Protective Services history
    Since 1975, the Virginia Department of Social Services has supervised the Child Protective Services (CPS) Program that is administered by local departments of social services in every locality in the state. The program offers a specialized continuum of services for abused, neglected and exploited children. The focus of services is on identification and assessment in an effort to protect children, preserve families, and prevent further maltreatment.

    Local departments of social services CPS programs
    Local departments of social services are responsible for receiving reports of abuse and neglect; conducting investigations to determine the validity of the CPS reports; and providing services that enhance child safety and prevent further abuse and neglect to families and children.

    CPS is a unit of Family Services
    At the state level, the Child Protective Services Unit is located in the Division of Family Service Programs. The duties of this unit include the development of CPS program policies, procedures, and guidelines around protective services for children; development of statewide public awareness and education programs; identification of local agency training needs; administration of state and federal grants to prevent abuse and neglect; maintenance of a statewide database for child abuse and neglect; and dissemination of statistical information. Staff in five regional offices provide technical assistance, training and monitoring to the local departments of social services.
  8. #8
    kat1963 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
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    Virginia
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    1,939
    MOVE & leave no forwarding address!!!!

    KAT
  9. #9
    llexxii Guest

    Reply to Kat1963

    This is a reply to Kat1963's posting.....

    Is that supposed to be some kind of joke? Move and leave no forwarding address!!! If so, I fail to find the humor in that.

    I'd like to thank those who have left very useful information regarding this important matter.

    lvj
  10. #10
    stealth2 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Posts
    44,471
    You should report the harrassment/assault against you to the police. Unless they have harmed your child - CPS isn't going to have any jurisdiction over this matter.

    And actually - the moving idea wasn't a bad one.
  11. #11
    hmmbrdzz Guest
    Child Protective Services has complete jursidiction of a matter involving a grandmother, an aunt, and an uncle (three individuals -- not one) who are threatening to take a 9-yr old child away from the mother. The mother was recently assaulted by the grandmother and the aunt and has been threatened over the phone by the uncle. They been described as "abusive". The mother is already fearful of an abduction because she has written the school. Child Protective Services has complete jurisidiction in this matter because they will be the ones who will evaluate and who will prevent (or will allow) this 9-yr old child to have a relationship (be it visitation or custody) with the three family members in question. Don't think a grandmother can't get custody of a 9-year old child. She's been around a little longer and probably knows the system -- and probably knows it better than some on this forum.


    ==============================================
    ORIGINAL POST
    -----------------------------------------------
    What is the name of your state? Ohio

    My aunt, and grandmother physically assaulted me and threatened to take my nine year-old son away from me. I also have another uncle that has threatened bodily harm via telephone. I've written a letter to my son's prinicipal in an attempt to prevent these individuals from taking my son from school. I've also filled out paperwork in an attempt to obtain a restraining order. Will this be enough to prevent them from contacting my son, and I in any way? They are very abusive, but they are immediate family. Do they have any rights as far as being able to have a relationship my son?

    Please advise at your earliest convenience.
  12. #12
    kat1963 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    1,939
    Why don't you grow up and remove yourself from the immediate situation huh? Oh, that's right, far too easy, you get to play the victim again and again and again. Instead of fixing it you sit right there in the middle playing their childish games. I'm the one that needs to grow up? hahahahahaha
    KAT

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