I live in Arizona for what it's worth.
Just a back story to provide some insight. I have 3 sons age 9,10, and 14 that live with my ex wife and her husband. I lost custody 6 years ago when I wasn't working and couldn't pay support. For the past 6 years i've been paying and seeing them regularly and have even moved 65 miles to be 3 blocks away from them.
I have had issues in regards to my kids when their step dad has been involved. He has only been in the picture about the last two and a half years. During that time my middle son has developed behavior problems that seem to indicate issues with the step dad. My ex wife will not acknowledge that it could be playing a part. So during this time, and with my sons increasingly bad behavior, the step dad has taken total control of the house and the discipline of my kids. At one point last year, he threatened my son with sleeping outside with water and a sandwich because "that's all they had to provide according to the law". This was told to my son at the time, and my ex wife verified it and actually stood behind it. Since then, the step dad and ex wife have had issues that forced them to separate for a few months. During that time my sons behavior stopped for the most part except for one incident that I will describe later. Once the stepdad came back into the home, my son started the behavior almost immediately and a lot of the behavior is directed at the step dad and my ex wife. He has no issues at school or at my house when staying with me. My son has told me and my ex wife has verified multiple times of the stepdad screaming profanity and spanking him. My ex wife has repeatedly said things like "we make mistakes", "you don't understand his(stepdads) frustration", etc. That brings me to describe the incidents with my kids and their household the last year.
My middle son has twice had bruises on his leg and buttocks from being spanked from both my ex wife and her husband. The first time was from my ex wife and I actually had taken a picture of it and talked to her about it. You could actually see the belt outline on his leg and buttocks. She said she lost control and she was sorry. Since she is a pediatric nurse, I asked what she would do if she had a child come in with that kind of bruise and she admitted that she would be required to notify CPS. I felt like she was truly sorry and just made a mistake so I didn't take it any further other than taking the picture and keeping it.
2 weeks ago, she and I were in family court and discussing the custody and issues with her husband and my kids. The judge asked her if there were any safety issues with the kids in her home and she replied no. The only order the judge issued at that time was that none of the kids were to be spanked by either parent or step parent.
Last week my middle son out of nowhere happened to mention after watching a tv show that "ya that's what happened to me and why CPS came to my house. I immediately asked my ex wife what happened and she said that a month ago he had thrown a rock at her husbands truck and the step dad used his hand on my son. She said it had left a bruise that my son told his counselor about, who as I said previously notified CPS. I asked why her husband was not only hitting our son, but hitting him hard enough to leave a bruise. Her response was that I didn't understand how frustrated her husband was and that it had been "taken care of". I asked for the CPS case worker contact information as well as his counseling information so I could verify and talk to them and she gave me the information. This incident happened 2 weeks prior to us going to court, and 2 weeks prior to her saying their were no safety issues with the kids in her home.
I spoke to the CPS case worker and she said that by the time they were there, there were no bruises on my son but that my ex wife and her husband did admit that it happened. The caseworker informed me that the incident occurred when the kids were home alone with the step dad and while my ex wife was at work. She also told me that had their been a bruise on my son, that they would have removed all 3 boys from the home pending an investigation. She also informed them both that they would have been arrested and that if there were any future incidents, they would be arrested as well. The key point that she also told me is that if I was aware something was going on and didn't do anything to protect them, that I could face charges as well.
ON top of these 2 physical incidents with my middle son, there was also an incident last year where they were staying with her parents and her father woke my oldest son up by kicking him ion the leg and back until he woke up. Enough that it left a bruise on my sons back. I also spoke to her about that and she said she handled it.
Now to my point. I am planning on filing for emergency custody on Monday morning. I do honestly feel that my kids are in danger being around the environment they are now especially with their stepdad. I also feel that based on her responses to me and not mentioning the incident in court, that my ex wife does not have their best interests in mind and would hide something happening again to avoid being prosecuted or having the kids taken. When I file for emergency custody, I also want to file a restraining order or an order of protection until the final custody can be settled. I want to ensure that the step dad isn't allowed to be alone with my kids, and thus won't be allowed to spank or hit them. Is this possible? I have no doubt that under normal circumstances it would be issued because I have the picture of his bruise from her, and the CPS report from this last incident. But since he lives in the same house how would that work? Would they say either he had to leave the house or the kids had to be with me? Again, I want to ensure that for the time being he is kept away from them 100% with no contact. I don't want to take the kids away from their mom but if she won't protect them what else can I do?
Just a back story to provide some insight. I have 3 sons age 9,10, and 14 that live with my ex wife and her husband. I lost custody 6 years ago when I wasn't working and couldn't pay support. For the past 6 years i've been paying and seeing them regularly and have even moved 65 miles to be 3 blocks away from them.
I have had issues in regards to my kids when their step dad has been involved. He has only been in the picture about the last two and a half years. During that time my middle son has developed behavior problems that seem to indicate issues with the step dad. My ex wife will not acknowledge that it could be playing a part. So during this time, and with my sons increasingly bad behavior, the step dad has taken total control of the house and the discipline of my kids. At one point last year, he threatened my son with sleeping outside with water and a sandwich because "that's all they had to provide according to the law". This was told to my son at the time, and my ex wife verified it and actually stood behind it. Since then, the step dad and ex wife have had issues that forced them to separate for a few months. During that time my sons behavior stopped for the most part except for one incident that I will describe later. Once the stepdad came back into the home, my son started the behavior almost immediately and a lot of the behavior is directed at the step dad and my ex wife. He has no issues at school or at my house when staying with me. My son has told me and my ex wife has verified multiple times of the stepdad screaming profanity and spanking him. My ex wife has repeatedly said things like "we make mistakes", "you don't understand his(stepdads) frustration", etc. That brings me to describe the incidents with my kids and their household the last year.
My middle son has twice had bruises on his leg and buttocks from being spanked from both my ex wife and her husband. The first time was from my ex wife and I actually had taken a picture of it and talked to her about it. You could actually see the belt outline on his leg and buttocks. She said she lost control and she was sorry. Since she is a pediatric nurse, I asked what she would do if she had a child come in with that kind of bruise and she admitted that she would be required to notify CPS. I felt like she was truly sorry and just made a mistake so I didn't take it any further other than taking the picture and keeping it.
2 weeks ago, she and I were in family court and discussing the custody and issues with her husband and my kids. The judge asked her if there were any safety issues with the kids in her home and she replied no. The only order the judge issued at that time was that none of the kids were to be spanked by either parent or step parent.
Last week my middle son out of nowhere happened to mention after watching a tv show that "ya that's what happened to me and why CPS came to my house. I immediately asked my ex wife what happened and she said that a month ago he had thrown a rock at her husbands truck and the step dad used his hand on my son. She said it had left a bruise that my son told his counselor about, who as I said previously notified CPS. I asked why her husband was not only hitting our son, but hitting him hard enough to leave a bruise. Her response was that I didn't understand how frustrated her husband was and that it had been "taken care of". I asked for the CPS case worker contact information as well as his counseling information so I could verify and talk to them and she gave me the information. This incident happened 2 weeks prior to us going to court, and 2 weeks prior to her saying their were no safety issues with the kids in her home.
I spoke to the CPS case worker and she said that by the time they were there, there were no bruises on my son but that my ex wife and her husband did admit that it happened. The caseworker informed me that the incident occurred when the kids were home alone with the step dad and while my ex wife was at work. She also told me that had their been a bruise on my son, that they would have removed all 3 boys from the home pending an investigation. She also informed them both that they would have been arrested and that if there were any future incidents, they would be arrested as well. The key point that she also told me is that if I was aware something was going on and didn't do anything to protect them, that I could face charges as well.
ON top of these 2 physical incidents with my middle son, there was also an incident last year where they were staying with her parents and her father woke my oldest son up by kicking him ion the leg and back until he woke up. Enough that it left a bruise on my sons back. I also spoke to her about that and she said she handled it.
Now to my point. I am planning on filing for emergency custody on Monday morning. I do honestly feel that my kids are in danger being around the environment they are now especially with their stepdad. I also feel that based on her responses to me and not mentioning the incident in court, that my ex wife does not have their best interests in mind and would hide something happening again to avoid being prosecuted or having the kids taken. When I file for emergency custody, I also want to file a restraining order or an order of protection until the final custody can be settled. I want to ensure that the step dad isn't allowed to be alone with my kids, and thus won't be allowed to spank or hit them. Is this possible? I have no doubt that under normal circumstances it would be issued because I have the picture of his bruise from her, and the CPS report from this last incident. But since he lives in the same house how would that work? Would they say either he had to leave the house or the kids had to be with me? Again, I want to ensure that for the time being he is kept away from them 100% with no contact. I don't want to take the kids away from their mom but if she won't protect them what else can I do?
