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Restraining order approved ex taking me back to crt

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Sherri344

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Minnesota
I have never been married and have a child with my ex. Visits between them were going fine untill he found out I was seeing somebody else, then within hours was texting threatening messages to me, and telling me he was watching everything I do. I attemped to get along with him but it was obvious he wanted me back and was being very verbally abusive from then on. I filed a no contact order, he fought it, and the judge approved it because I had all the evidence. The judge also said he would have to find somebody, a 3rd party, to pick up our child, and drop her back off, so there was no contact between us. He had nobody to do this. He then filed charges on me claiming I was keeping our child from him and a different judge actually signed it??? I am confused! Why would a dif. judge sign this when this was already supposedly settled in the no contact hearing?
 


mistoffolees

Senior Member
I don't know. Were you or your attorney there to explain to the judge that there was a no contact order? Perhaps the judge didn't know. NEVER, EVER miss a hearing over custody or visitation.

You should have time to request reconsideration. Point out to the judge that there's a no contact order so you are unable to bring the child to Dad and that you have never refused any third party picking up the child on Dad's behalf.
 

Sherri344

Junior Member
Thankyou for your fast reply. There has been no hearing yet, one is set up for March. I was served with papers by the sheriffs department. The papers even have the original " no contact order " hearing on them as my ex had to put it on there. I never miss a hearing, ever, I know how important this is. He is trying to claim I broke our original agreement for visitation, by using the no contact order as the excuse! The same thing is being revisited. So he is trying to get me in trouble claiming I " broke " the visitation agreement and using the other judges order of no contact as the reason. What in the world is going on??? Did the judge not read the original no contact order? I am shocked at this to say the least. I can request a reconsideration, but this is just a way for my ex to physically see and talk to me, his last recourse. It is obvious, because all he had to do was have a family member or friend do the pickup and dropoffs and it would have been taken care of.
 

Sherri344

Junior Member
I forgot to ask, how do I request a reconsideration? I am in the process of finding an attorney right now, but would like to get this in as soon as possible.
 

Isis1

Senior Member
I'm a tad bit confused. Help me out a bit. You filed harrassment report. Restraining order issued in criminal court or family court? If the restraining order was issued in criminal court, did you file for a change in visitation to reflect that order?

If not, that may have been your mistake.

Did he file in family court for contempt for you? Have you responded yet?
 

Sherri344

Junior Member
I filed a no contact order in civil court I think it was. I had no attorney, neither did he. When he kept bringing up his visitation with our child, ( his excuse for fighting the no contact ) the judge said your child is not part of this order, you will need to make arrangements for visitation, there are papers you can fill out. So no, visitation was not changed, it had already been set up previously, and it was going fine, untill he started harassing me continuously. He told the judge he had no family or friends to do the pickups and drops offs, this was his way of trying to have contact with me.
 

Sherri344

Junior Member
I have another question. How is it decided which court a no contact order is filed in? such as criminal or family? I did everything I could to break up yet get along with him for our child's sake to no avail because I believe he should have been charged with stalking me. I found out there are no ways to even file this, that the state has to do it. I had the messages from him telling me he was watching everything I do, and only got the no contact, now this, more contact.
 

Tex78704

Member
I filed a no contact order in civil court... the judge said your child is not part of this order, you will need to make arrangements for visitation, there are papers you can fill out. So no, visitation was not changed, it had already been set up previously...
Then you need to comply with the letter of the current visitation order, which most likely states you have to make your child available to him at the given place and times.

At this point the burden is on you to make arrangements to have someone else in your place at the exchange locations. Which avoids putting you in a position of interfering with his visitations, which is a good CYA move.

And this appears to be the basis of his latest legal actions. That you are refusing him visitation when he is complying with the current visitation order.
 

Sherri344

Junior Member
How am I supposed to do that? Why is it up to me to provide a 3rd party when it is because of him, and his harassment, we have no contact? Also, because of a previous arrangement, his contact with my family was just as bad, the behavior, text messages and phone calls, he just turned his attention to them, so they also refuse to even see him. All of this stems from his behavior, yet I am supposed to help him find somebody? Why wouldnt it be up to him??
 

Isis1

Senior Member
Because you are the custodial parent. It's always your obligation to do so.

I can only say what you should have done. You should have taken thAt new order to the family court judge handling your visitation/parenting plan and issued a modification specifying a third party. A center of some sorts since he has no friends, and you have no friends willing to participAte given his violent history.
 

MichaCA

Senior Member
It sounds like your ex has filed in family court, alas the March court date?

I'm confused by your wording a judge signed off on it...it sounds like he has filed some motion for contempt of court order. You do need to respond in a timely manner (court rules) and explain what happened.

I agree and would request the restraining order terms to be incorporated into the new custody court order.
 

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