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Restraining Order in California

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andrea450

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA


Quick run down. Been in a relationship for 4 years, have a 2 year old son. I recently left his father on Dec 27 for being physically, verbally and financially abusive. I wasn't able to make it to court to file for a restraining order until the morning of the 29th. I was given full custody with no visitation until the court date. We have a court date in San Diego county (Where I filed) on the 19th of Jan. He was served the restraining order Jan 7th.

Now I have found out that my sons father went to a court in a different county Dec 28th and had an emergency hearing regarding custody and visitation. I was never served, and didn't find out about it until the evening of Dec 29th. My ex took the paperwork to be served to my Mothers house, dropped it off on her doorstep, called her house and left a voicemail saying 'You've been served'. I'm not staying at her house, I'm in a different county. I can't take my son out of San Diego county until our court date, and my mom is in Riverside county so I have not even been to her house.

I still haven't seen the paperwork, because my Mother took it back to the court to tell them that it had been improperly served. Can I use the fact that I was improperly served to my advantage? Should my mother fill out some sort of a declaration stating how she was served? This is my first time dealing with ANYTHING legal, and I feel completely lost. I left with nothing but a bag for my son and I, my dog and my laptop. We also have court dates on the same day for the case that I filed, and the case he filed. All the things he said about me on his custody case are completely false. I have pictures of marks he has left when he has hit me before.

Thank you in advance for any advice you can give me.
 
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Ohiogal

Queen Bee
This is a double post. Keep everything in one post. YOU know that there is a court date. your mother has no standing to protest service.
 

andrea450

Junior Member
I only did double posts because one part of it is a restraining order, and the other is custody. So dropping off papers on my moms doorstep counts as service?
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
I only did double posts because one part of it is a restraining order, and the other is custody. So dropping off papers on my moms doorstep counts as service?
Why don't you just copy/paste your original post in this thread in to your other thread? Keep it all in one thread if you want accurate answers.
 

CdwJava

Senior Member
I still haven't seen the paperwork, because my Mother took it back to the court to tell them that it had been improperly served. Can I use the fact that I was improperly served to my advantage?
If you were not properly served, he cannot legally hold it against you. Plus, by law, I do not believe HE cannot conduct the service - it has to be done by a party not named on the order.

You really need to speak with an attorney here. Someone needs to point this issue out to the courts so that they can decide which county has residence. I suspect the county where the two of you resided together until you left him will be the county of jurisdiction. is that San Diego County? Or some other location?

We also have court dates on the same day for the case that I filed, and the case he filed.
Contact the court and advise them. Also, you may want to gain the assistance of a domestic violence victim's support group in San Diego - there are many such organizations, which one would be best for you depends on where in the county you live.

All the things he said about me on his custody case are completely false. I have pictures of marks he has left when he has hit me before.
And those pictures will mean little or nothing if not supported by a police report or an affidavit of someone who witnessed them. The images could easily have been self inflicted or caused by someone else on a date other than the one you allege. If not reported to the police or some counselor, it will be hard to use those images as evidence against him in any proceeding if he denies inflicting them.
 

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