Restraining order fight

[C'est la vie]

What is the name of your state? CA

My ex boyfriend who I dated for less than 2 months filed a RO on me for email threats. I felt that it was rash, uncessary (I live 50 miles away) and so I hired an attorney. I went to court, and he had a lawyer and also wanted to press criminal charges against me. Originally he didn't want to agree to civil compromise, so my lawyer prepared me for the courtroom. Everything I said she shot down, based on how the court would view it. What he is really mad about was finding out I had an std, but he had date raped me when I was intoxicated. I went with depression as my defense, and he agreed to the civil order but I would have to go to counseling and pay his attorney fees of $2500. I feel really in a corner now, and feel like just taking the restraining order. However the judge already told us to come to an agreement, and I am scared he will file criminal charges if I go solo. Should I keep my lawyer, or should I risk it with the judge? I feel it's alot of money to defend myself from this guy who was abusive to me in first place. I feel trapped and need an unbiased opinion.....I feel lawyers just want to keep it going on.

 

[CdwJava]

I went to court, and he had a lawyer and also wanted to press criminal charges against me.

He'd have to go to the police to report that. I doubt that judge wanted to hear that.

At most, e-mailed threats would be a misdemeanor: electronic or phone harassment per PC 653m.

Should I keep my lawyer, or should I risk it with the judge? I feel it's alot of money to defend myself from this guy who was abusive to me in first place. I feel trapped and need an unbiased opinion.....I feel lawyers just want to keep it going on.

I doubt anyone here is going to say you should dump the attorney. If you go it alone, who knows what will happen?

A restraining order can have lasting effects .. no firearms, certain job opportunities will be closed to you, you can easily go to jail if you come near him, etc.

This is something you really have to evaluate for yourself. In the long run it is probably best NOT to have an active TRO against you.

- Carl

 

[C'est la vie]

He actually did file a police report. I got a call from the police department from his city the day I was to fly home from vacation. They said not to contact him and that a detective was going to follow up the investigation. The very next day he had a domestic violence restaining order served to me. The email was bad, only because I left a word out. I said I was going to outsource my vengeance to God, but then took it out because he was athiest. So the complete email sounded like I was going to hire a hit man. Anyway, I guess that's what I get for not giving credit where credit is due. So I decided I will keep my lawyer, and just chalk this up to a very expensive lesson. It feels like a no win situation, because either way I loose. But no, I don't want a restraining order on my record, especially from someone who is just mad.