• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

Restraining order fight-worst that can happen?

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

C'est la vie

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? CA
Here is my situation:
My ex boyfriend of less than 2 months filed a restraining order on me for email threats after we broke up. I hired a lawyer because I was scared what he would do with a restraining order (he is mad) and also because I couldn't get down to Orange county to file the DV form 120 to defend myself. I paid a retainer of $1500, and went to court where the judge issued a continuance for us to come to a civil compromise which would be his attorney fees and counseling which would total $2,500 and $800 respectively. That was a bit much for me, as I am a full time student, but said I was willing to pay to not have this go on my record. The petitioner now wants $4000 now, and I said no. My question is if I back out of the civil compromise entirely, where I will already owe my own lawyer $2,000 because of going back to trial, and possibly court ordered counseling....what is the worst that can happen? Petitioner also had filed a police report and says he wants to bring criminal charges against me through the District attorney. How likely would it be that the DA would file criminal charges against me when all I have done was send a threatening email, and never hurt him? I also have abided by the TRO and have not contacted him at all. To agree to the minimun civil compromise will total over $6,000 and to meet his new request would cost $8,000 to $9,000 in all. Is backing out an option? I haven't signed anything. I can't afford even the minimum to agree with him, and I can't go to work untill this quarter is over because I have too many classes. I have given up on working for FBI or IRS, so what is the worst that can happen now do you think?
 


CourtClerk

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? CA
Petitioner also had filed a police report and says he wants to bring criminal charges against me through the District attorney. How likely would it be that the DA would file criminal charges against me when all I have done was send a threatening email, and never hurt him?
See 422 of the Penal Code (Terrorist Threats)... you don't have to hurt him, all you have to do is make the threat and him see it as a threat.

All of this after only 2 months of dating? You need some counseling. I can't think of anything in this world someone could do to me after 2 months that would make them have to resort to getting a restraining order against me (short of raping me), then of course I would have the RO.
 

moburkes

Senior Member
See 422 of the Penal Code (Terrorist Threats)... you don't have to hurt him, all you have to do is make the threat and him see it as a threat.

All of this after only 2 months of dating? You need some counseling. I can't think of anything in this world someone could do to me after 2 months that would make them have to resort to getting a restraining order against me (short of raping me), then of course I would have the RO.
I agree. What the hell did you say to him?
 

C'est la vie

Junior Member
I wrote:
I realize that I don't have the time or the expertise to properly harrass and take vengeance on you, so I will leave it to a professional. You really hurt me. I have outsourced my vengeance, so you're out of my hands now.

I wrote this after reading an article on outsourcing your vengeance to God, but I took the God part out because he was an athiest. I had thought about sending him another email explaining, but I thought he would just blow it off. I was contacted by the police the very next day. He took advatage of me on the first night, and because I was intoxicated (I threw up in the restaurant) I was not able to tell him I had an std. But none of this matters because of the threats he has on paper. If I continue to fight I'm looking at $6,000 to $8,000. If we don't agree on a civil compromise, what do you think the worst that the judge can do to me other than just issue the restraining order and order counseling? Could the judge still make me pay his legal fees if I just take the restraining order? Could the petitioner sue me somewhere else for his legal fees? Basically, is it too late to back down?
 

CourtClerk

Senior Member
I wrote:
I realize that I don't have the time or the expertise to properly harrass and take vengeance on you, so I will leave it to a professional. You really hurt me. I have outsourced my vengeance, so you're out of my hands now.

Especially after knowing you only 2 months... I would consider that a threat. He is well within his right (and I would say an idiot) if he didn't take that email straight to the police and the District Attorney and INSIST that they file charges on you.

I wrote this after reading an article on outsourcing your vengeance to God, but I took the God part out because he was an athiest. I had thought about sending him another email explaining, but I thought he would just blow it off. I was contacted by the police the very next day. He took advatage of me on the first night,

Were you raped? Or did you allow yourself to be taken advantage of? Funny how it's being taken advantage of now that there is no relationship... if he REALLY took advantage of you why didn't YOU terminate the relationship????

and because I was intoxicated (I threw up in the restaurant) I was not able to tell him I had an std.

AAAHHHAAAA!!!! So you got yourself pissy drunk and you were in a position where you let yourself lose all control. And with your std, you have a pattern of irresponsibility. In fact, he probably should file a civil suit AGAINST YOU if he contracts anything...

But none of this matters because of the threats he has on paper.

THAT'S RIGHT...

If I continue to fight I'm looking at $6,000 to $8,000. If we don't agree on a civil compromise, what do you think the worst that the judge can do to me other than just issue the restraining order and order counseling?

If I were him, I'd be insisting on criminal charges for the threat also...

Could the judge still make me pay his legal fees if I just take the restraining order?

Yes

Could the petitioner sue me somewhere else for his legal fees?

Yes

Basically, is it too late to back down?
Do what you want, but get some medical treatment and some serious counseling. You are OBVIOUSLY unstable.
 

moburkes

Senior Member
You've definitely got mental problems.

God, STD, and intoxication don't mix. You KNOWLINGLY gave someone an STD???????????????????????????????????//:eek:
 

C'est la vie

Junior Member
I have herpes simplex which anyone who's ever had a cold sore on their lips will test positive for in a blood test - that's about 60% of the population.
 

CourtClerk

Senior Member
I have herpes simplex which anyone who's ever had a cold sore on their lips will test positive for in a blood test - that's about 60% of the population.
Which is true, however, Herpes Simplex 1 (the cold sores) and Herpes Simplex 2 (those sores down there) are DRASTICALLY different. One is an STD, one isn't... genius.

So PUHLEEZE don't try and convince us now that you were talking about a cold sore when you really meant that you were an unstable hussy.
 
Don't get me wrong, I'm not supporting OP's reckless behavior. However, her X is responsible for protecting himself against STDs.
 

moburkes

Senior Member
Which is true, however, Herpes Simplex 1 (the cold sores) and Herpes Simplex 2 (those sores down there) are DRASTICALLY different. One is an STD, one isn't... genius.

So PUHLEEZE don't try and convince us now that you were talking about a cold sore when you really meant that you were an unstable hussy.
Agreed.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not supporting OP's reckless behavior. However, her X is responsible for protecting himself against STDs.
A condom doesn't protect you against herpes.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
60% of the population? Get real, and get help.

Hi everyone.
How common is herpes?
About 50 percent to 80 percent of the adult population in the United States has oral herpes (commonly called cold sores or fever blisters), with as many as 90% having the virus by age 50.
Most people contract oral herpes when they are children by receiving a kiss from a friend or relative.
About one in five persons in the United States has genital herpes; however, as many as 90 percent are unaware that they have the virus. There are many reasons people do not know they have herpes (see below).
Anyone who is sexually active can contract genital herpes.

That came from the National Institute of Health.
 

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top