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  1. #1
    Lmarietc is offline Junior Member
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    Temporary Injunction - Restraining Order

    Florida - My brother has a pending Temporary Injunction case against him. The petitioner is his "wife". She is claiming that my brother is a threat to the kids and herself. He was depressed before case was served and now this has driven him overthe edge where he wants to kill himself. Last sunday he was Baker Acted. He sent text messages to all family saying goodbye, including his "wife" and kids. Does she have grounds to have him arrested when he gets out of Mental Hospital?


    Updated: The details are that they have been together 9 years. They have 3 kids, two biological, one from her previous marriage. They have had issues from the beginning. She never trusted him and was extremely jealous. They fought all the time because of her jealousy. Recently he had a nightmare that he killed the kids, the wife and himself. He shared the nightmare with her and she claims that made her nervous, even though she never said anything at the time. A few weeks later she had a job training, and left the kids with her mother, even though my brother was off from work. My brother asked her that same day why she did it and she told him it was becuz of the nightmare. He got upset, went to kitchen, grabbed a knife and told her he was goign to kill himself. He ran out of the house with the knife, threw the knife on the ground and left. She claims that because of this she is afraid that he will harm her and the kids. She also made her oldest son from previous marriage(13) request an Injunction against him as well. All this has broken my brother's heart. All he was trying to do was a cry for help. She says that she suggested he get psych help. He says she never mentioned it.
    Last edited by Lmarietc; 03-16-2012 at 09:24 PM. Reason: More details
  2. #2
    ecmst12 is offline Senior Member
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    Not knowing any details of what happened between them, who knows.
  3. #3
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lmarietc View Post
    Florida - My brother has a pending Temporary Injunction case against him. The petitioner is his "wife". She is claiming that my brother is a threat to the kids and herself. He was depressed before case was served and now this has driven him overthe edge where he wants to kill himself. Last sunday he was Baker Acted. He sent text messages to all family saying goodbye, including his "wife" and kids. Does she have grounds to have him arrested when he gets out of Mental Hospital?


    Updated: The details are that they have been together 9 years. They have 3 kids, two biological, one from her previous marriage. They have had issues from the beginning. She never trusted him and was extremely jealous. They fought all the time because of her jealousy. Recently he had a nightmare that he killed the kids, the wife and himself. He shared the nightmare with her and she claims that made her nervous, even though she never said anything at the time. A few weeks later she had a job training, and left the kids with her mother, even though my brother was off from work. My brother asked her that same day why she did it and she told him it was becuz of the nightmare. He got upset, went to kitchen, grabbed a knife and told her he was goign to kill himself. He ran out of the house with the knife, threw the knife on the ground and left. She claims that because of this she is afraid that he will harm her and the kids. She also made her oldest son from previous marriage(13) request an Injunction against him as well. All this has broken my brother's heart. All he was trying to do was a cry for help. She says that she suggested he get psych help. He says she never mentioned it.

    That would be enough in most jurisdictions to justify a restraining order.

    Honestly - that's not a cry for help. That's a symptom of an underlying disorder that needs to be addressed urgently.




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  4. #4
    Lmarietc is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Proserpina View Post
    That would be enough in most jurisdictions to justify a restraining order.

    Honestly - that's not a cry for help. That's a symptom of an underlying disorder that needs to be addressed urgently.




    Y
    I totally agree....he is in a Mental Hospital because of it. My question again is it possible he will be arrested when he gets out because of his farewell text messages? - Lmarietc
  5. #5
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lmarietc View Post
    I totally agree....he is in a Mental Hospital because of it. My question again is it possible he will be arrested when he gets out because of his farewell text messages? - Lmarietc

    I doubt it.

    If he contacts her again once he's out, he might be in trouble.

    I'm so sorry you're all going through this
  6. #6
    ecmst12 is offline Senior Member
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    He probably won't be arrested, but the RO probably WILL be granted.
  7. #7
    st-kitts is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lmarietc View Post
    Florida - My brother has a pending Temporary Injunction case against him. The petitioner is his "wife". She is claiming that my brother is a threat to the kids and herself. He was depressed before case was served and now this has driven him overthe edge where he wants to kill himself. Last sunday he was Baker Acted. He sent text messages to all family saying goodbye, including his "wife" and kids. Does she have grounds to have him arrested when he gets out of Mental Hospital? .
    When your brother sent these texts, had your sister in law been granted an ex-parte order and was your brother served with this order? If he had been served with an ex-parte order, then yes, he could potentially be arrested, but could is not the same as “will”. If he hadn’t been served with an order, then no, he will not be arrested for violating an order that was not yet in place.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lmarietc View Post
    Updated: The details are that they have been together 9 years. They have 3 kids, two biological, one from her previous marriage. They have had issues from the beginning. She never trusted him and was extremely jealous. They fought all the time because of her jealousy.
    Understand that as a third party, you have no idea how or why they fought in private. You know your brother’s perspective, which could be insightful, or a complete misrepresentation of the facts.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lmarietc View Post
    Recently he had a nightmare that he killed the kids, the wife and himself. He shared the nightmare with her and she claims that made her nervous, even though she never said anything at the time.
    Many people would be nervous if they were told that someone who is mentally ill, has had a dream that involved their own murder and the murder of the children. Add to this the fact that the sister in law sleeps next to your brother and that they frequently fight, by your own description, and you have a recipe for fear. You mention that she didn’t tell your brother she was scared, but frankly, what difference would that make?
    Quote Originally Posted by Lmarietc View Post
    A few weeks later she had a job training, and left the kids with her mother, even though my brother was off from work. My brother asked her that same day why she did it and she told him it was becuz of the nightmare. He got upset, went to kitchen, grabbed a knife and told her he was goign to kill himself. He ran out of the house with the knife, threw the knife on the ground and left.
    These actions are likely to be sufficient to support a restraining order. I would understand that you wouldn’t want to believe that she is in any danger from your brother, that he loves her, but this action was abusive to her. He grabbed a knife during a fight when he was angry at her. This isn’t just a cry for help, it was a method of intimidation. He REACTED to her decision to take the kids to her mom’s by attempting to control and intimidate her with a threat of violence of self harm. And since he was angry at her when he grabbed the knife there is also an implied threat that he might harn her. Don’t you think that your sister in law will have this in the back of her mind that he might grab a knife anytime she disagrees with him about ANYTHING?

    That is (emotional) abuse and it has the same effect of deterring her from disagreeing with him as if he beat her.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lmarietc View Post
    She claims that because of this she is afraid that he will harm her and the kids. She also made her oldest son from previous marriage(13) request an Injunction against him as well. All this has broken my brother's heart.
    She should be afraid. In abusive relationships, the risk of a murder suicide versus suicide alone is statistically very high. Your sister in law and your nieces and nephews are at risk, even and despite your brother’s love for them. Many of the last declarations of those people that go on to murder their families are statements to friends and others of how much they love their families.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lmarietc View Post
    All he was trying to do was a cry for help.
    Many people threaten suicide without threatening harm to others. Think about how different this scenario would be if your sister-in-law had walked into a room and simply found your brother crying and holding a knife as he contemplated self harm. In that scenario, there would be no attempt to change the behavior of the sister-in-law, no intimidation tactic, just a cry for help. While I don’t disagree that your brother is crying out for help, he was also trying to manipulate your SIL with his cry for help. It may be just as valid a cry, but it is a dangerous one for her. Support your brother, but please don’t put your SIL at risk.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lmarietc View Post
    She says that she suggested he get psych help. He says she never mentioned it.
    Finally, understand that mentally ill people are often in denial that they need help. It is one of the cruelest parts of mental illness. There are frequently family members begging a loved one to get help, and the pleas fall on deaf ears. Your sister in law may or may not be in this category, but do not judge her failure to get your brother help any harsher than you blame yourself for that same failure. And if you didn’t suggest he needed help, you might want to revisit the symptoms of his illness so that you can recognize them and in the future help your brother see them to encourage his treatment going forward.

    There are support groups for family members of the mentally ill. It might be helpful to you to hear and learn what others have been through. I am so sorry you are facing this family crisis. I wish you, your brother, and your SIL good luck.
    Last edited by st-kitts; 03-17-2012 at 08:58 AM.

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