Temporary order of protection against domestic violence

[R.s.s]

I am going through a divorce and my wife filed a restraining order for domestic violence. She did it to gain the upper hand in the divorce. I have never hit or abused my wife nor was I ever charged with a crime for domestic violence. That being said, in 2014 we got into an argument and she threatend to call 911. She dialed and never talked to them and hung up the phone. The police officers responded to our home for an abandoned 911 call. When they got there they asked what happened and we both told the police officers separately it was a verbal altercation and it never got physical. They checked us both out and said that there were no visible injuries and they left the house. Fast forward to a month and a half ago, my wife told me she wanted a divorce and said she was leaving to go to her parents house. I was upset and I asked her not to leave so we could talk about this. She went into her office at our home and was packing her work belongings up and I was standing in the doorway and asked her not to leave. She was sitting at her desk and told me to move out of the doorway so she could leave and I asked her not to leave so we could talk about this again. She said if I didn't move she was going to dial 911 I asked her for what and then she dialed 911 and told the operator I would not let her leave and that she needed police officers to our home. I went outside and waited for the police to show up and they did about 20 min. Later they asked what happened and I told them. They waited for my wife to leave and they talked to me for a minute and then they left. 3 days later I was served by the sheriff with a temporary injunction for domestic violence. She is claiming on the night in 2014 that I choked her and spit on her and in early 2015 I did the same thing to her 2 times but she never called the police. I have a copy of the police report stating that on that night we both said it was just a verbal argument and it never got physical. So basically she lied on the injunction. I do have a attorney. I want to go to court and fight the restraining order but my attorney wants to work it out in a global agreement and get it dropped that way. In the meantime I can't go home and my wife has ruined my business! She has shut off my work phone, closed my business bank account. I do hunting trips this time of year and can't do them cause I can't possess my fire arms. I have never been charged with criminal charges against my wife. I have never been arrested in my life. Now everywhere I go I see her. I was at the gym the other day and 4min after I left she came in and told the people at the gym I wasn't supposed to be there cause we have an order of protection and cancelled my membership. She has drove past my house multiple times. And pulled up next to me at stop lights. I have not tried to contact her at all. Should I go to court in feb. and fight it or wait until we come to a global agreement? My attorney says the judge we have hands out restraining orders more than she should.

 

[R.s.s]

I'm in FL.

 

[LdiJ]

You should not have blocked the doorway. That was your problem. Had you not blocked the doorway she would have had no reason to call the police. I am not saying that she is right to lie, but blocking the doorway so that she could not freely leave was restraining her, and that was a mistake.

How does that give her an upper hand in your divorce? In many divorces it would be irrelevant to the actual divorce itself.

 

[Ohiogal]

You should not have blocked the doorway. That was your problem. Had you not blocked the doorway she would have had no reason to call the police. I am not saying that she is right to lie, but blocking the doorway so that she could not freely leave was restraining her, and that was a mistake.

How does that give her an upper hand in your divorce? In many divorces it would be irrelevant to the actual divorce itself.

That is not true. A restraining order can be very relevant to a divorce especially if there are children involved. And what she is doing is inappropriate by closing bank accounts and cancelling memberships and what not.

 

[R.s.s]

My wife makes a lot of money and she doesn't want me to get anything. Her attorney told my attorney that the restraining order was never meant to be a permanent thing this is her so called "getting her space" also, I never blocked my wife from leaving I never told her she couldn't leave, I asked her please don't leave. She was sitting at her desk the whole time and never attempted to leave out of the room. I understand restraining orders are meant to protect someone that truly needs it but, to do it out of spite and to protect assets is just absurd and it should be illegal. We do not have children together. My original question was, should I fight it or wait for a global resolution!

 

[Ohiogal]

My wife makes a lot of money and she doesn't want me to get anything. Her attorney told my attorney that the restraining order was never meant to be a permanent thing this is her so called "getting her space" also, I never blocked my wife from leaving I never told her she couldn't leave, I asked her please don't leave. She was sitting at her desk the whole time and never attempted to leave out of the room. I understand restraining orders are meant to protect someone that truly needs it but, to do it out of spite and to protect assets is just absurd and it should be illegal. We do not have children together. My original question was, should I fight it or wait for a global resolution!

You have counsel. Do you TRUST your counsel? Because your counsel has more information than we do. And most people here are laypeople and not attorneys. If you want to fight it, you may need different counsel as you don't trust the advice of the one you have.

 

[R.s.s]

The reason I ask this, she has completely shut my business down. I am a fishing guide she has turned my business phone off she has closed my business bank account. She has shut down my business website and now I can't hunt either! I tried to get my business line number and she won't let me have it. I have had that number for my business for 10yrs. I get cold calls from clients all the time that I have taken out for years. Some of them do have my email and have contacted me that way but, some are old and do not email and they may think I went out of business. My attorney says she has not violated the injunction or the standing order with the divorce.

 

[LdiJ]

That is not true. A restraining order can be very relevant to a divorce especially if there are children involved. And what she is doing is inappropriate by closing bank accounts and cancelling memberships and what not.

OG, that is why I specifically said "irrelevant in many divorces". I wanted him to tell me why he thinks its relevant, because if there are no children involved it probably is irrelevant. I absolutely did not say irrelevant in all or most divorces, because that of course is not true.

 

[R.s.s]

You have counsel. Do you TRUST your counsel? Because your counsel has more information than we do. And most people here are laypeople and not attorneys. If you want to fight it, you may need different counsel as you don't trust the advice of the one you have.

I do trust my attorney but sometimes I question things. I have never had anything like this happen to me so it is very scary. I have all sorts of professional licenses that I could possibly lose if I get a restraining order against me for a year. That's why I am so worried about this.

 

[LdiJ]

My wife makes a lot of money and she doesn't want me to get anything. Her attorney told my attorney that the restraining order was never meant to be a permanent thing this is her so called "getting her space" also, I never blocked my wife from leaving I never told her she couldn't leave, I asked her please don't leave. She was sitting at her desk the whole time and never attempted to leave out of the room. I understand restraining orders are meant to protect someone that truly needs it but, to do it out of spite and to protect assets is just absurd and it should be illegal. We do not have children together. My original question was, should I fight it or wait for a global resolution!

She specifically asked you to get out of the doorway and you did not get out of the doorway. The fact that a restraining orders exists will in no way impact marital division of assets or anything like that. So, unless she is getting really bad legal advice that is not the reason why she has done this. You can fight it if you like, but you need to completely leave her alone either way.

 

[R.s.s]

Oh trust me, I will not contact her at all in anyway! We are in the process of selling our home and it is a cluster because everything has to be done through our attorneys. I understand what you are saying about blocking the door. Maybe it was bad judgement on my part but I really didn't think I was doing anything wrong. I was not aware someone could file a restraining order for that. I know now and I have learned a valuable lesson. You have to understand my wife told me she wanted a divorce and was leaving, I just wanted to talk about it and figure things out. I was not being malicious and trying to keep her from leaving I just wanted to find out what we were going to do about everything.

 

[stealth2]

Are/were all of your business accounts joint? How do you not know your business number? Is there a reason you cannot open new accounts?

 

[LdiJ]

Oh trust me, I will not contact her at all in anyway! We are in the process of selling our home and it is a cluster because everything has to be done through our attorneys. I understand what you are saying about blocking the door. Maybe it was bad judgement on my part but I really didn't think I was doing anything wrong. I was not aware someone could file a restraining order for that. I know now and I have learned a valuable lesson. You have to understand my wife told me she wanted a divorce and was leaving, I just wanted to talk about it and figure things out. I was not being malicious and trying to keep her from leaving I just wanted to find out what we were going to do about everything.

I understand how you felt, but for the sake of other people who may read this thread, you need to understand that if someone is not ready to have that kind of discussion with you, then they are just not ready.

 

[R.s.s]

Are/were all of your business accounts joint? How do you not know your business number? Is there a reason you cannot open new accounts?

Yes the accounts were joint and at BOA if there are 2 signers on the account all they need is 1 to close it. I'm not sure what you mean about not knowing my business number? As far as opening other accounts I have already done this. What I meant by my phone number is... she has taken me off our cell phone account and disconnected my number. She will not release the number to me so I cannot get my number on a new phone. You have 90 days from the time the phone is disconnected to get the number back, after that it's gone forever and the chances of me getting it back are slim to none!