Trying to put the brakes on...

[theadamofeden]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
Delaware

My fiance had kind of a nervous breakdown and started breaking things in my house. This is in New Castle County, Delaware.

I called the police to ask them to kind of remove her to calm her down for a bit.

They ended up arresting her for offensive touching and criminal mischief.

I never intended to have this go to a court situation, I just wanted her to cool her heels. We're already going to seek counselling for her outside of the courts...

My question is, is there anything I can do to stop this court process? I've tried calling the DoJ, but they are wishy washy.

Should I contact the arresting officer? Should I go to the court with her and speak to the prosecutor? What can I do? Any kind of court intervention is going to put her in a further depression and make it harder for me to help her.

Thanks in advance!!!

 

[theadamofeden]

As a side note, she has no record whatsoever.

 

[stealth2]

I called the police to ask them to kind of remove her to calm her down for a bit.

<snip>

I never intended to have this go to a court situation, I just wanted her to cool her heels.

Well, the cops certainly did "kind of" remove her - they arrested her. That's really all they could do. If you don't want someone to end up in the legal system, calling the cops is not a good plan.

If you had just wanted her to calm down and cool off, it would have been wiser to call her parents, a sibling, a friend, a minister... NOT the cops.

You may be able to speak with the DA, but don't count on it doing much good.

 

[theadamofeden]

yeah i get that now. didnt know that then. what kind of issues is she facing? can j call the DA before the case? how? this is totally not where i wanted to be.

 

[CdwJava]

You can speak to the DA and ask about options, but ultimately the decision is not yours as to prosecution or not.

Most such first time incidents result in counseling or some form of diversion as opposed to jail time. It is very likely that she will be able to get away from this with probation and anger management, but that is something her attorney can tell her about.

 

[theadamofeden]

we dont have an attorney. we are going to seek counselling. i mean if i explain this to the da is there a chance theyll just tell us to go home?

 

[theadamofeden]

someone please say yes

 

[CdwJava]

we dont have an attorney. we are going to seek counselling. i mean if i explain this to the da is there a chance theyll just tell us to go home?

The DA dies not have to listen to you. And since some 75% of victims recant or try to defend the suspect, the DA is likely prepared for you to go soft on her.

She has been charged with a crime. Counseling won't help her out of that, only an attorney can.

 

[Just Blue]

May I ask how old you are? (There is a reason I ask this personal question...)

 

[theadamofeden]

26. she's 30.

 

[theadamofeden]

The DA dies not have to listen to you. And since some 75% of victims recant or try to defend the suspect, the DA is likely prepared for you to go soft on her.

She has been charged with a crime. Counseling won't help her out of that, only an attorney can.

i understand that.
my point is A) I never intended for her to be charged with a crime. Honest to God, I'm going on my COPS tv show laws. I really thought they would just ask her to find somewhere to go.

B) the stress of court may actually be detrimental to the help i'm trying to get her.

 

[Just Blue]

26. she's 30.

By the age of 26 you should know that if you call the police because someone is....distroying your property, then they will do their job and arrest the perp.

The police are not relationship counselors. DO NOT CALL THEM UNLESS YOU WANT THEM TO ACTUALLY DO THEIR JOB.









P.S. Dump this crazy broad.

 

[Banned_Princess]

i understand that.
my point is A) I never intended for her to be charged with a crime. Honest to God, I'm going on my COPS tv show laws. I really thought they would just ask her to find somewhere to go.

B) the stress of court may actually be detrimental to the help i'm trying to get her.

You cant help her,

and the only thing to do is to get a lawyer.

 

[CdwJava]

i understand that.
my point is A) I never intended for her to be charged with a crime. Honest to God, I'm going on my COPS tv show laws. I really thought they would just ask her to find somewhere to go.

Unfortunately, what you thought has no bearing on the situation. So, you have to deal with the reality, not the impression left by television. In this reality, she needs an attorney f she is charged with a crime

B) the stress of court may actually be detrimental to the help i'm trying to get her.

This is not in your power to control.

 

[Alt.Advocate]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?
Delaware

My fiance had kind of a nervous breakdown and started breaking things in my house. This is in New Castle County, Delaware.

I called the police to ask them to kind of remove her to calm her down for a bit.

They ended up arresting her for offensive touching and criminal mischief.

I never intended to have this go to a court situation, I just wanted her to cool her heels. We're already going to seek counselling for her outside of the courts...

My question is, is there anything I can do to stop this court process? I've tried calling the DoJ, but they are wishy washy.

Should I contact the arresting officer? Should I go to the court with her and speak to the prosecutor? What can I do? Any kind of court intervention is going to put her in a further depression and make it harder for me to help her.

Thanks in advance!!!

I will offer a different point of view on the subject.

You could contact the victim's advocate (or DA's office) and discuss the reality of what had taken place that night.

Is there a restraining order against her as part of her own recognizance agreement? If there is, and you truly feel that you were in no danger.. ask him if it can be lifted. The DA can instruct you on how to go about this. If not, get your own attorney.

I would also remind you to be truthful with your statements to the DA when you (victim) explain the situation. Were you really in any danger? Was the property damnage done purposely or on accident or ? I do not know if I would explain to the DA that I am going to counceling with my spouse because of implications -- and that is nobodies business to begin with.

Do not be intimidated. If you do not think you were a victim of a crime -- and you only wanted her to cool off and prevent an arguement -- you may certainly explain this to district's attorney. Inlight of this evidence he will likely dismiss the case.

However, like many others here we can only speculate or guess as to what will happen. Some people here are extremely emotional about domestic violence issues. But we should also remember that extreme states of emotionality are usually what brings about DV issues to begin with.

Someone had mentioned that 75% of the victims recant. However; one must consider the source of this statistic. There is a bias and thus it is unrealiable information. We can only rely on the Courts to ultimate sort out truth and justice to the best of its abilities.

Good luck Sir.