Violation of a protective order

[Ladavison6]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Maryland
I have a protective order against my husband for an assault he commited on May 28, 2012. in MD, the state brings charges and I am then a witness. when my father in law came over today he said "Bruce has a question....Are you going to testify?" Isnt that a violation of my protective order?

 

[Hot Topic]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Maryland
I have a protective order against my husband for an assault he commited on May 28, 2012. in MD, the state brings charges and I am then a witness. when my father in law came over today he said "Bruce has a question....Are you going to testify?" Isnt that a violation of my protective order?

It could be. Depends on how the PO is worded. Your father-in-law should mind his own business.

 

[Ladavison6]

did he violate the PO?

It could be. Depends on how the PO is worded. Your father-in-law should mind his own business.

The PO states "That the Respondant SHALL NOT contact (in person, by telephone, in writing or by any other means) or attempt to contact..." myself, and my kids.
My husband has no issue with respect or ethics by getting me not to testify. He wants me to envoke my "marital right" not to testify, that way he "doesnt have to hire a lawyer". He truly believes the charges from the state will be dropped if I dont testify...sooo....by asking his father..to ask me..he knows I would have to answer an 80yo man, who, because my husband has no job....will have to PAY for the attorney. This is the second time I have pressed charges so my husband knows his options are getting slim and he will most likely face jail time. Since I have been with him for 10 years....I have been conditioned that this will be my fault if he goes to jail which is making me second guess or "make sure" I am doing the right thing here.

 

[Proserpina]

The PO states "That the Respondant SHALL NOT contact (in person, by telephone, in writing or by any other means) or attempt to contact..." myself, and my kids.
My husband has no issue with respect or ethics by getting me not to testify. He wants me to envoke my "marital right" not to testify, that way he "doesnt have to hire a lawyer". He truly believes the charges from the state will be dropped if I dont testify...sooo....by asking his father..to ask me..he knows I would have to answer an 80yo man, who, because my husband has no job....will have to PAY for the attorney. This is the second time I have pressed charges so my husband knows his options are getting slim and he will most likely face jail time. Since I have been with him for 10 years....I have been conditioned that this will be my fault if he goes to jail which is making me second guess or "make sure" I am doing the right thing here.

No no no no no! Honey please listen. Here's what "doing the right thing" means here: YOU TESTIFYING. You know this. If you don't testify, you're going to be stuck in the same situation and you're giving him the green light to keep on doing what he's doing.

Ignore his father.

Are you in counseling? There are some wonderful resources at aardvarc.org, and I strongly recommend you start looking at making a safe exit plan (if you haven't already).

Please, take care of yourself.

 

[LdiJ]

The PO states "That the Respondant SHALL NOT contact (in person, by telephone, in writing or by any other means) or attempt to contact..." myself, and my kids.
My husband has no issue with respect or ethics by getting me not to testify. He wants me to envoke my "marital right" not to testify, that way he "doesnt have to hire a lawyer". He truly believes the charges from the state will be dropped if I dont testify...sooo....by asking his father..to ask me..he knows I would have to answer an 80yo man, who, because my husband has no job....will have to PAY for the attorney. This is the second time I have pressed charges so my husband knows his options are getting slim and he will most likely face jail time. Since I have been with him for 10 years....I have been conditioned that this will be my fault if he goes to jail which is making me second guess or "make sure" I am doing the right thing here.

Tell your father in law that Bruce is violating the restraining order by asking him to talk to you. Ask him politely to stay out of things. Then go forward with testifying against your husband.

 

[Ladavison6]

No no no no no! Honey please listen. Here's what "doing the right thing" means here: YOU TESTIFYING. You know this. If you don't testify, you're going to be stuck in the same situation and you're giving him the green light to keep on doing what he's doing.

Ignore his father.

Are you in counseling? There are some wonderful resources at aardvarc.org, and I strongly recommend you start looking at making a safe exit plan (if you haven't already).

Please, take care of yourself.

I am going to testify, but I can also charge him with "violating a protective order". Having his father asks me that violates the order and will add aditional charges to his assault charges. Should I violate him?????
This man has physically assaulted me 7 times. I am looking for a counc. now but no luck yet. I have been in contact w SARC our local domestic violence help group.
I wasnt sure if I should hold him to every word but inside...I feel like he is pushing me and testing me....and its just another way to bully me into not following every letter of this PO to the T. I dont think he will stop asking for things through his dad.

 

[Proserpina]

I am going to testify, but I can also charge him with "violating a protective order". Having his father asks me that violates the order and will add aditional charges to his assault charges. Should I violate him?????
This man has physically assaulted me 7 times. I am looking for a counc. now but no luck yet. I have been in contact w SARC our local domestic violence help group.
I wasnt sure if I should hold him to every word but inside...I feel like he is pushing me and testing me....and its just another way to bully me into not following every letter of this PO to the T. I dont think he will stop asking for things through his dad.

Walk down to the police station and make a report, and take a copy of the restraining order with you.

 

[Ladavison6]

Walk down to the police station and make a report, and take a copy of the restraining order with you.

Thank you for your advice. I figured as much.....I should have never "drank the kool aid"!!