Want my husband to leave but he wont?

[Natalie093]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Georgia
I have been married for 4 years and we have 2 boys, 6 and 3. Since we were married my husband has beat me on a pretty consistent basis. I have left several times to come back to my house being demolished and all my stuff broken. I have called the police over 20 times and every time they say he has jut as much right here as I do. Even though I bought this house before we were married and all the bills I pay. He has been unemployed for over a year now. I have asked him since the first month we were married to move out and now 4 years later and every bruise you can imagine I am done. I have no where to go now since all my family is gone and all my friends left after the first year. How can I make him leave without getting him arrested...only for my kids sake they already said they dont want daddy arrested since I already did that once and ended up paying 4000 in bond because he faced 8 felonies for hitting me. Really I just want him gone and to stop beating me every day.

 

[Banned_Princess]

Then he needs to go to jail.

end of story.

 

[justalayman]

file for divorce and ask to retain the marital home.

 

[TheGeekess]

Self-help legal resources

For those who want to consider filing an action in court on their own, below is a list of resources. These sites have forms and instructions, which include forms for legitimation and visitation.

Fulton County Family Court - Home - Family Court This is the site of the Fulton County Superior Court Family Division's Family Law Information Center. Any resident of the State of Georgia can visit the center in person at its location. The address is 185 Central Avenue, Atlanta, Ga. 30303. The phone is 404-335-2789. One can receive a free, brief legal consultation with an attorney by calling and making an appointment. However, a non-custodial parent must follow the guidelines of the county with legal jurisdiction over his/her particular legal issues.

DeKalb County Police Department This is the site of DeKalb County Superior Court's Family Law Information Center. Any DeKalb resident or person with a family law issue related to DeKalb County can visit the center at its location at 120 West Trinity Place, Decatur, Ga. 30030. The phone is 404-687-3990. Brief, legal consultations with an attorney are available for $10 by calling and making an appointment.

Cobb County Government This is the site of the Cobb County Superior Court Family Law Workshop. Any Cobb resident or person with a family law issue related to Cobb County can visit the center at 30 Waddell Street, Marietta, Ga. 30090. The phone is 770-528-1812. The workshop is free of charge and provides answers to basic questions about divorce, paternity/legitimation, contempt, and modification cases.

http://production.albany.ga.us/law_library/LL_forms_family_law.htm This is the site of the Dougherty County Superior Court Law Library. Any Dougherty resident or person with a family law issue related to Dougherty County can visit the center at its location at 225 Pine Avenue, Room 212, Albany, Ga. 31702. The phone is 229-431-2133. The library manager, who is an attorney, is available to provide assistance with conducting research, finding appropriate materials and possible legal resources, suggesting self-help resources, and answering legal reference questions in person or by e-mail. However, the library manager is not permitted to give legal advice or interpret specific legal situations.

Northeastern Judicial Circuit Family Law Information Center and Guardian ad Litem Program - Hall County, Georgia This is the site of the Hall and Dawson County Superior Court Family Law Information Center. Any Hall or Dawson resident or person with a family law issue related to Hall or Dawson Counties can visit the center at its location at 225 Green Street, S.E., Gainesville, Ga. 30501. The phone is 770-531-2463. Brief, legal consultations with an attorney are available at no cost in Dawson County. However, a financial qualification is required for attorney consultations in Hall County.

Appalachian Family Law Information Center This is the site of the Appalachian Family Law Information Center serving Fannin, Gilmer, and Pickens counties. Any Fannin, Gilmer or Pickens resident or person with a family law issue related to these counties can visit the center at its location at 1 Broad Street, Suite 102 A, Ellijay, Ga. 30540. The phone is 706-299-1444. Brief, legal consultations with an attorney are available by appointment for income-qualified individuals.

LegalAid-GA.org | A guide to free and low-cost legal aid, assistance and services in Georgia This site is a project of the Atlanta Legal Aid Society, the Georgia Legal Services Program and the Pro Bono Project of the State Bar of Georgia. It is a guide to free legal information and services including the topics of legitimation, visitation, and custody.

A list of the Georgia Superior Court Clerks for every county is on this web site: GSCCCA.org - Georgia Superior Court Clerks' Cooperative Authority.

Error Page


Child Support guidelines/calculators here: Error Page

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Georgia
I have been married for 4 years and we have 2 boys, 6 and 3. Since we were married my husband has beat me on a pretty consistent basis. I have left several times to come back to my house being demolished and all my stuff broken. I have called the police over 20 times and every time they say he has jut as much right here as I do. Even though I bought this house before we were married and all the bills I pay. He has been unemployed for over a year now. I have asked him since the first month we were married to move out and now 4 years later and every bruise you can imagine I am done. I have no where to go now since all my family is gone and all my friends left after the first year. How can I make him leave without getting him arrested...only for my kids sake they already said they dont want daddy arrested since I already did that once and ended up paying 4000 in bond because he faced 8 felonies for hitting me. Really I just want him gone and to stop beating me every day.

Leave with the kids and get to a shelter IMMEDIATELY.

Your welfare is FAR more important than a house.

8 Felonies? Seriously?

Are you waiting for him to kill you?

GET OUT OF THERE IMMEDIATELY.


There is a list of Georgia shelters here:

WOMEN SHELTERS Georgia State - Addresses and Information


More help here:

AARDVARC.org - An Abuse, Rape and Domestic Violence Aid and Resource Collection


Georgia family violence resources:

Shelters/Programs - Family Violence in Georgia

 

[Proserpina]

One more thing, in the hope of convincing you to get out of there.

Do you want to lose your kids?

You keep going back to this man, who faced EIGHT felonies for beating you?

Google "failure to protect".

 

[stealth2]

No one can help you until you're ready to help yourself. Or at least your kids.

 

[jrini]

Please, if for nothing else get out of there for your kids. How do you think they feel when they are witnessing violence in the home? Did you know that verbal and physical conflict in the home is strongly associated with the children exhibiting significant behavioral and emotional problems (Fantuzzo, 1991)? Or that batters will abuse their children as well in close to half of violent homes (Appel, 1998)? Or that the severity of violence to the mother correlates with the severity of abuse to the children (Bowker, 1988)? Do you have sons? Male children who witness the abuse of their mother are more likely to become batters as adults (Rosenbaum, 1981). How about daughters? Do you want them to grow up thinking this is an acceptable way for men to treat them?

Until you wake up and get out of there, at least create a safety plan. And yes, I provided citation; that you are endangering your children physically and emotionally by staying with this man is a fact which is backed up by empirical data. Get out of there NOW! Then get a protection order and worry about the house. Keep said protection order on you at all times.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Safety Tips For You And Your Family

IF YOU ARE IN DANGER, CALL 911
or your local police emergency number

To find out about help in your area, call:
National Domestic Violence Hotline:
1-800-799-SAFE
1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

Whether or not you feel able to leave an abuser,
there are things you can do to make yourself and your family safer.


IN AN EMERGENCY


If you are at home & you are being threatened or attacked:

* Stay away from the kitchen (the abuser can find weapons, like knives, there)
* Stay away from bathrooms, closets or small spaces where the abuser can trap you
* Get to a room with a door or window to escape
* Get to a room with a phone to call for help; lock the abuser outside if you can
* Call 911 (or your local emergency number) right away for help; get the dispatcher's name
* Think about a neighbor or friend you can run to for help
* If a police officer comes, tell him/her what happened; get his/her name & badge number
* Get medical help if you are hurt
* Take pictures of bruises or injuries
* Call a domestic violence program or shelter (some are listed here); ask them to help you make a safety plan


HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF AT HOME

* Learn where to get help; memorize emergency phone numbers
* Keep a phone in a room you can lock from the inside; if you can, get a cellular phone that you keep with you at all times
* If the abuser has moved out, change the locks on your door; get locks on the windows
* Plan an escape route out of your home; teach it to your children
* Think about where you would go if you need to escape
* Ask your neighbors to call the police if they see the abuser at your house; make a signal for them to call the police, for example, if the phone rings twice, a shade is pulled down or a light is on
* Pack a bag with important things you'd need if you had to leave quickly; put it in a safe place, or give it to a friend or relative you trust
* Include cash, car keys & important information such as: court papers, passport or birth certificates, medical records & medicines, immigration papers
* Get an unlisted phone number
* Block caller ID
* Use an answering machine; screen the calls
* Take a good self-defense course


HOW TO MAKE YOUR CHILDREN SAFER

* Teach them not to get in the middle of a fight, even if they want to help
* Teach them how to get to safety, to call 911, to give your address & phone number to the police
* Teach them who to call for help
* Tell them to stay out of the kitchen
* Give the principal at school or the daycare center a copy of your court order; tell them not to release your children to anyone without talking to you first; use a password so they can be sure it is you on the phone; give them a photo of the abuser
* Make sure the children know who to tell at school if they see the abuser
* Make sure that the school knows not to give your address or phone number to ANYONE

HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF OUTSIDE THE HOME

* Change your regular travel habits
* Try to get rides with different people
* Shop and bank in a different place
* Cancel any bank accounts or credit cards you shared; open new accounts at a different bank
* Keep your court order and emergency numbers with you at all times
* Keep a cell phone & program it to 911 (or other emergency number)


HOW TO MAKE YOURSELF SAFER AT WORK

* Keep a copy of your court order at work
* Give a picture of the abuser to security and friends at work
* Tell your supervisors - see if they can make it harder for the abuser to find you
* Don't go to lunch alone
* Ask a security guard to walk you to your car or to the bus
* If the abuser calls you at work, save voice mail and save e-mail
* Your employer may be able to help you find community resources


USING THE LAW TO HELP YOU

Protection or Restraining Orders

* Ask your local domestic violence program who can help you get a civil protection order and who can help you with criminal prosecution
* Ask for help in finding a lawyer

In most places, the judge can:

* Order the abuser to stay away from you or your children
* Order the abuser to leave your home
* Give you temporary custody of your children & order the abuser to pay you temporary child support
* Order the police to come to your home while the abuser picks up personal belongings
* Give you possession of the car, furniture and other belongings
* Order the abuser to go to a batterers intervention program
* Order the abuser not to call you at work
* Order the abuser to give guns to the police

If you are worried about any of the following, make sure you:

* Show the judge any pictures of your injuries
* Tell the judge that you do not feel safe if the abuser comes to your home to pick up the children to visit with them
* Ask the judge to order the abuser to pick up and return the children at the police station or some other safe place
* Ask that any visits the abuser is permitted are at very specific times so the police will know by reading the court order if the abuser is there at the wrong time
* Tell the judge if the abuser has harmed or threatened the children; ask that visits be supervised; think about who could do that for you
* Get a certified copy of the court order
* Keep the court order with you at all times


CRIMINAL PROCEEDINGS

* Show the prosecutor your court orders
* Show the prosecutor medical records about your injuries or pictures if you have them
* Tell the prosecutor the name of anyone who is helping you (a victim advocate or a lawyer)
* Tell the prosecutor about any witnesses to injuries or abuse
* Ask the prosecutor to notify you ahead of time if the abuser is getting out of jail


BE SAFE AT THE COURTHOUSE

* Sit as far away from the abuser as you can; you don't have to look at or talk to the abuser; you don't have to talk to the abuser's family or friends if they are there
* Bring a friend or relative with you to wait until your case is heard
* Tell a bailiff or sheriff that you are afraid of the abuser and ask him/her to look out for you
* Make sure you have your court order before you leave
* Ask the judge or the sheriff to keep the abuser there for a while when court is over; leave quickly
* If you think the abuser is following you when you leave, call the police immediately
* If you have to travel to another State for work or to get away from the abuser, take your protection order with you; it is valid everywhere

(America Bar Association, n.d.)

Bolded mine. If you do not leave, or until you do (and keep in mind that Children's Services can and do get involved and remove the children from the home in situations like this): get a cheap cell phone (or a few), you don't have to activate it or have service to it - it will still dial 911. Keep it (them) hidden in a room(s) that you can lock from the inside.. Preferably with windows.

References​

American Bar Association (n.d.). Domestic violence: Safety tips for you and your family. Tort and Insurance Practice Section's Domestic Violence Safety TIPS. Retrieved from

Appel, A.E., & Holden, G.W. (1998). The co-occurrence of spouse and physical child abuse: A review and appraisal. Journal of Family Psychology, 12(2), 578-599.

Bowker, L.H., Arbitell, M., & McFerron, J. R. (1988). On the relationship between wife beating and child abuse. In K. Yllo and M. Bograd (Eds.), Perspectives on wife abuse. Newbury Park, CA: Sage.

Fantuzzo, J.W., DePaula, L.M., Lamber, L., Anderson, G., & Sutton, S. (1991). Effects of interparental violence on the psychological adjustment and competencies of young children. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 59(2), 258-265.

Rosenbaum, A. and O'Leary, K.D. (1981). Children: The unintended victims of marital violence. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 5(14), 692-699.