Want to remove 'no contact' order and not prosecute

[notavictim]

What is the name of your state? Michigan

My wife was jailed sat night after i called 911. I would have never called if i knew that 1 of us would be going to jail. It's such an over reaction. I really screwed up by following thru with my threat to call 911. She was overly drunk and screaming and smacking me a bit but I certainly could have walked away and didn't.

Then the nightmare started. Bailed her out the next morning but a 'no contact order' states that she cannot see me, be with me, etc. I called the prosecutors ofc first thing this morning to ask them to lift the order and to not prosecute and they state they will not and will not do anything till she's arraigned on April 8th. Unreal. She doesn't deserve this. Maybe I do for my stupidity.

The court dockets are packed. I just find it hard to believe that the time and money to be spent on this does the public any good. What a waste. How can we make this go away ? We also have a Cancun trip prepaid for Apr 12-19 and hope that isn't in jeapordy.

Neither of us have EVER had any trouble with the law.

Can you help. Thanks in advance.

 

[CJane]

Well, as you should know by the time you become a grown up, there are consequences for our actions. If you want someone to talk some sense into your wife, call a marriage counselor. If you want someone arrested, call the cops.

You CHOSE the cops. You CHOSE to involve the state in your marital problems. You will now have to deal with those consequences. It's likely your wife will be offered a diversion program that will include a 6 month to 1 year restraining order barring her from contact with you.

Welcome to the DV system.

 

[Grandma's house]

quote: It's likely your wife will be offered a diversion program that will include a 6 month to 1 year restraining order barring her from contact with you.

Is this what it is now? I guess the d.v. laws ARE getting stiffer. 12 yrs. ago it was 3 mos. (never long enough)

GOOD. It needed to get longer! Time enough apart for the victim to have time to think straight.

 

[CJane]

quote: It's likely your wife will be offered a diversion program that will include a 6 month to 1 year restraining order barring her from contact with you.

Is this what it is now? I guess the d.v. laws ARE getting stiffer. 12 yrs. ago it was 3 mos. (never long enough)

GOOD. It needed to get longer! Time enough apart for the victim to have time to think straight.

It varies based on lots of stuff. I dunno what it actually is in MI. But you can't just walk into the prosecutor's office and say "I was scared enough to call the cops, but I changed my mind."

 

[CdwJava]

My wife was jailed sat night after i called 911. I would have never called if i knew that 1 of us would be going to jail. It's such an over reaction.

9-1-1 is for emergencies and crimes in progress - it is NOT "dial a counselor."

I really screwed up by following thru with my threat to call 911. She was overly drunk and screaming and smacking me a bit but I certainly could have walked away and didn't.

No, SHE screwed up by getting "overly drunk" and smacking you around. You did not have to "walk away", she should never have assaulted you.

My guess is this is no an isolated or first time event, either.

Then the nightmare started. Bailed her out the next morning but a 'no contact order' states that she cannot see me, be with me, etc. I called the prosecutors ofc first thing this morning to ask them to lift the order and to not prosecute and they state they will not and will not do anything till she's arraigned on April 8th. Unreal. She doesn't deserve this. Maybe I do for my stupidity.

YOU did not do anything wrong, she did.

The matter is out of your hands. The state puts these orders in place to give the victim a chance to think and make some rational and non-emotional decision without manipulation. They also tend to prosecute even without the full cooperation from the victim because they KNOW that more than 75% of DV victims (male or female) will recant within 48 hours and most (some 85%) will "go sideways" by the time the case goes to trial.

The court dockets are packed. I just find it hard to believe that the time and money to be spent on this does the public any good. What a waste. How can we make this go away ?

Again, it's not your call. MAYBE, the DA will find their case is week and drop the matter at the hearing date. MAYBE the court will be willing to remove the no contact order. MAYBE they will change nothing and simply ask for her plea and if she needs appointed counsel.

We also have a Cancun trip prepaid for Apr 12-19 and hope that isn't in jeapordy.

It very well may be.

She needs an attorney.

- Carl