What can I do here...anything.

[minotzka]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

My husband filed a dv RO against me and my kids are listed as protected persons and as living with him on the RO. There is stay away no contact orders.. Claims are unfounded but he has an expensive attorney and I have nada so I stood no chance. But one of those kids is not his so of course he could t ask for custody, he did get custody of my little one. He does not want my big one she is in the way of his new relationship. His attorney sent me a letter stating that the RO did not mean I couldn't be with my oldest only my youngest. I asked law enforcement who told me they care not what a letter from an attorney says if I am caught with that child they follow the RO and I am no doubt going to jail and criminal charges are being filed...I am not American which means deportable offense. Basically my child has no where to go what to I do here. He thinks I'm stupid and don't know what I'm talking about and his attorney is the final say. My daughter is devastated lost feeling so unwanted is there anything I can file to get both of my children removed from this RO so I can bring them back together and keep them safe. He is refusing to get her I have no option but to break this order. Also did parentage need to be established before they could even be put on the order? He has no legal claim to my oldest at all how was he able to do this?

 

[CdwJava]

I asked law enforcement who told me they care not what a letter from an attorney says if I am caught with that child they follow the RO and I am no doubt going to jail and criminal charges are being filed...

Law enforcement can only follow what is written in the court order. If it says you cannot be with that particular child, then you cannot be with that child. Unless the attorney can get the order modified by the court, his letter means nothing.

is there anything I can file to get both of my children removed from this RO so I can bring them back together and keep them safe.

Did you already have the court hearing on this? If so, what did the judge say about your daughter's living arrangements?

If not, then when IS that hearing?

He is refusing to get her I have no option but to break this order.

You might want to speak with an attorney ASAP, because violation of this order can result in a mandatory arrest in CA. It might also be an issue you can consider speaking with CPS about since they might have to take custody of the child if your soon-to-be-ex won't take her.

Also did parentage need to be established before they could even be put on the order? He has no legal claim to my oldest at all how was he able to do this?

Apparently no one bothered to tell the judge. If there was a hearing, that would have been the time to bring this up. And if you did not defend yourself at the hearing, why not?

If you have not had the hearing, then you will have to do so then.

 

[minotzka]

Did you already have the court hearing on this? If so, what did the judge say about your daughter's living arrangements?

If not, then when IS that hearing?

There was a hearing and because he has a private attorney he went first and was gone before first recess while I was still sitting outside the room trying to figure out what I was doing, I was completely alone and terrified because my ex had already warned me that his money will buy him whatever he wanted regardless of the truth so I shouldn't even bother showing up..it was stupid of me but I let my fear and his intimidation bully me and I soo regret not being more confident.

You might want to speak with an attorney ASAP, because violation of this order can result in a mandatory arrest in CA. It might also be an issue you can consider speaking with CPS about since they might have to take custody of the child if your soon-to-be-ex won't take her.

I have thought about maybe involving CPS myself, maybe they can help although I am fearful of more upset and disruption for the girls. He did pick her up last night I think he realized what he had done and said to her was not ok and could be very damaging to his superdad role We will see what happens. I homeschool her and I can't even check if she has been to her tutor.. I have all her work...nothing these are super important things regarding the kids and they can't even be taken care of. I'm just not seeing best interest here. Also mandatory arrest for me means deportation probability, which I feel is his goal. An attorney I don't even know where to start I have no money literally he has completely cut me off and stopped paying everything, I am looking for work it's hard though because I have been a stay at home mom for so long he makes 150000 a year and I don't have a phone...



Apparently no one bothered to tell the judge. If there was a hearing, that would have been the time to bring this up. And if you did not defend yourself at the hearing, why not?

Simply put I was afraid. His attorney painted such a horrible picture of me. I have felt so bullied through this whole thing this is just the latest in a long string of if I don't do xxxx I will never see my kids again, and as a mother that is the hardest thought, it's hard to see and think clearly when it is so emotional and heartbreaking.


If you have not had the hearing, then you will have to do so then.[/QUOTE]

Thank you so very much for your advise I truly do appreciate it

 

[Proserpina]

I don't think you can afford not to have an attorney.

Have you tried Legal Aid? Are there any local charities or immigrant outreach programs that can help you?

 

[minotzka]

I don't think you can afford not to have an attorney.

Have you tried Legal Aid? Are there any local charities or immigrant outreach programs that can help you?

Yes, legal aid will not help because I do not have custody of my child now. I am meeting with the family justice center who may be able to help because the dv RO has been abused and used for personal gain instead of protection. I'm right where he wants me and it really sucks to feel this helpless. I was also thinking that maybe I could take the angle that standard procedures were not even met, no parentage, lied about living arrangements and I was not even legally served with the order. The process server hopped the back fence at 10pm and yelled at my 12 year old through a locked door that the papers were there...seems futile at this point but I don't have many options against money...makes me so sad

 

[not2cleverRed]

What is your immigration status? Did he sponsor you for a green card?

While these are not relevant to what you are currently facing with your children,
if he sponsored you for a green card, there are potential ongoing responsibilities for him...

 

[LordofBooks]

He is refusing to get her I have no option but to break this order.

Whatever you do, don't break the restraining order. That'll definitely land you in trouble. It's a court order, which means you can potentially be jailed or fined if you. That definitely won't make you look good while you wage your fight to get back your kids.