What constitutes neglect/abuse

[VSPeck1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Indiana

What would the courts in Indiana view as neglect and/or abuse? My Grandson is 14. He lives with his father. His father is addicted to prescription drugs and abuses them. For years there has been a pattern of him getting his "medicine" and then sleeping for several days. He often forgets to pick his son up from school, he has lost his driver's license due to having an accident and no insurance, he will sleep for days and miss taking his son to Dr. appts, etc. He frequently allows his son to stay with daughter and/or me for sometimes as long as 2 or 3 months and then decide he wants the boy to move back. Once he moved back for two weeks and out of those two weeks (10 days of school) he missed two days and was late 5. Last month he forgot to pick his son up from school, so his daughter did. they tried to call him for over 24 hours and there was no answer. finally the daughter went to his house and he finally came to the door and said he was "sleeping". Last week his son was a pain in the A** and didn't get up to go to school in time. Dad then went back to bed and when the boy did finally get up, Dad refused to take him. This weekend the Dad refused to let the boy leave the house but ended up sleeping for two straight days. When his other son went to the house to check on his little brother, Dad would not get out of bed, so the older son took the younger son home with him. The boy's mother is dead and he is a good kid but with this kind of environment he can easily get off track. He has already started to show a few signs of rebellion. If this is not the right forum for this kind of help, tell me and I will look elsewhere. I do not want any smart ass remarks about me meddling. I need some advice and help on how to best handle this situation.

 

[stealth2]

At 14, your grandson is quite old enough to get himself up on time for school. Are there no school buses? No one he could call if he needs a ride to school (or home)? A friend in the neighborhood? In all honesty, if my kid refused to get up for school, I wouldn't take him/her in once they decided they were going to. S/he would have to suffer the consequences of another absence. It sounds as though the missed days are at least as much the boy's fault as Dad's.

Have you talked to Dad about possible solutions? What proof do you have that Dad is addicted to or abusive of prescription drugs? Have you mentioned your concerns, and perhaps suggested that he speak with his doctor about a change in meds/dosage? How about counseling? When did the boy's mother pass? Could be Dad (and the boy) are suffering from depression - some counseling may help.

 

[VSPeck1]

The mother (my daughter) died three years ago from mixed drug toxicity. The day she died he had given her some of his methadone and she mixed it was xanax. The two boys had been removed from the home for almost a year prior to that due to the father and mother's drug use. The Dad has been addicted to pain killers for years. The boy has a few resources he can call but this "tardy" was the first time that he refused to get up for Dad. Usually he calls me and I go take him to school. I took him that day. When he stays with me or with his sister, there is no problem with him getting up. Even when he stays with his Dad he usually gets up, eats breakfast and gets his dad up to take him. There are no school buses because he lives outside the district. Dad did not want him to change schools and the school thought it would be best for him to finish where he was given the background. The fact that he would not get up for Dad and another recent incident is what has me worried that he is entering into a rebellious age that will only get worse given Dad's lax oversight. What worries me as much as anything is the fact that his "medicine" is likely very accessible. Two years ago the 14 year old's older brother overdosed on Dad's "medicine" and almost died. He moved out of the house and has now been clean for 2 years. The middle son, now 17, has been living with me since November. If I know ahead of time the child needs to be picked up from school or needs a ride to school, I can generally do it, but sometimes I am out of town and his older sister is in nursing school, his oldest brother works 2nd shift and his brother that lives with me is also in school but at a different school. Next year they will be in high school together. Also, there are times that I feel like my filling in when he drops the ball is simply enabling behavior.