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what is the law on spanking?

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sad_hart

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? georgia
I have a teen, who has been sneaking out at 3am, and i smacked them upside the head. My child in turn went to school and claimed child abuse. What is the law?
 


mommyof4

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? georgia
I have a teen, who has been sneaking out at 3am, and i smacked them upside the head. My child in turn went to school and claimed child abuse. What is the law?
You did NOT 'spank' your teen. (and really...who 'spanks' their teen???)

You whapped him upside the head. :mad:

HUGE difference.

Spanking is legal (barring a court order restraining you from utilizing corporal punishment). Beating and assault are not.

How would YOU like to be whapped upside the head?
 

sad_hart

Junior Member
I did a pleanty at that age. And I turned out just fine. I also learned to respect my parents and elders, and do as I was asked! What else should I have done when my 13 year old is sneaking out at 3am, (not the first time either) and taking away cell phones and internet has not worked?
 

mommyof4

Senior Member
I did a pleanty at that age. And I turned out just fine. I also learned to respect my parents and elders, and do as I was asked! What else should I have done when my 13 year old is sneaking out at 3am, (not the first time either) and taking away cell phones and internet has not worked?
Put locks and alarms on all doors and windows, ground kiddo to stipped down room (I'm talking a mattress, blanket, and light), remove ALL comforts of life...provide only the bare necessities. Let kiddo earn back each and every piece of luxury as his/her behavior continues to improve. One slip up? He/she loses it all again and must start from scratch.

You did NOT turn out fine because you find it appropriate to whap your kid upside his/her head. Would you do that to anyone else and expect to suffer no reprecussions? No? Then why do it to your kid.

Oh, and let me be very clear. I have been known to occasionally spank (you know, actually 1-2 swats on my kids' behinds). You did NOT spank your kid.
 

Antigone*

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? georgia
I have a teen, who has been sneaking out at 3am, and i smacked them upside the head. My child in turn went to school and claimed child abuse. What is the law?
I'd have claimed child abuse too:eek:

It seems to me like some parenting classes are definitely in order.:rolleyes:
 

commentator

Senior Member
Once a child is adult or semi-adult size, this is not "spanking," this is hitting, fighting or a physical altercation (if they hit back). I am not opposed to spanking in some cases, with a less than five year old child. I think physical respect is the basis of all discipline,ultimately. I would certainly not allow a child to hit me; physical restraint and involving the authorities (with a teenager or large child) is the most appropriate here.

However, when a child is a teenager, hitting them, no matter how frustrated you are with them, is not appropriate. I have taught parenting classes for my state. Smacking, hitting, spanking, whacking, slapping, etc. (or throwing back the covers and wearing his butt out with a belt) is not considered legally appropriate discipline for teenagers. Alabama, this is not "spanking." This is assault.

The best thing you can do, if this is pursued, is explain that you are at the end of your rope, that you did not know what to do, and that you have tried all the things you have mentioned, such as grounding, taking away privileges, and other inhibitors and they have not worked.

If you go into this with the attitude "I have a right to smack my kid around, because he or she is my kid, and I was whomped as a kid and my daddy wouldn't have put up with this stuff for a minute..." you 're going to come out very poorly in the family court system.

Think very carefully. Did your daddy really whomp you a lot as a teenager, or were you just, by the time you were a teenager, so thoroughly a believer in your dad's authority that you didn't really try all these things because you believed he would have whomped you upside the head?

If you were hit a lot as a teenager, you probably have huge authority issues and lots of lingering bitterness and problems. But many times, when you talk to people who believe they were physically disciplined a lot, they can't really come up with even one incident (especially when they were older). They just felt like that would have happened if they had ever dared to do some of the things that kids do today.

It sounds as though your teen is truly a little out of control. Hitting them isn't the key to reestablishing control. Asking for help from the authorities you have been reported to, and appearing willing to accept that help is probably going to work best for you in a court or Family Services situation. What is "the law?" is going to be very subjective. This matter will be put into the hands of CPS or a juvenile judge, and both or either of these entities will be trying to figure out what is appropriate in this situation, and if the child needs to be removed from the family situation at present. Your appearing to be a reasonable concerned parent is all it will take to improve things here.
 
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commentator

Senior Member
Once a child is adult or semi-adult size, this is not "spanking," this is hitting, fighting or a physical altercation (if they hit back). I am not opposed to spanking in some cases, with a less than five year old child. I think physical respect is the basis of all discipline,ultimately.

However, when a child is a teenager, hitting them, no matter how frustrated you are with them, is not appropriate. I have taught parenting classes for my state. Smacking, hitting, spanking, etc. is not considered legally appropriate discipline for teenagers.

The best thing you can do, if this is pursued, is explain that you are at the end of your rope, that you did not know what to do, and that you have tried all the things you have mentioned, such as grounding, taking away privileges, and other inhibitors and they have not worked.

If you go into this with the attitude "I have a right to smack my kid around, because he or she is my kid, and I was whomped as a kid and my daddy wouldn't have put up with this stuff for a minute..." you 're going to come out very poorly in the family court system.

Think very carefully. Did your daddy really whomp you a lot as a teenager, or were you just, by the time you were a teenager, so thoroughly a believer in your dad's authority that you didn't really try all these things because you believed he would have whomped you upside the head?

If you were hit a lot as a teenager, you probably have huge authority issues and lots of lingering bitterness and problems. But many times, when you talk to people who believe they were physically disciplined a lot, they can't really come up with even one incident. They just felt like that would have happen if they had ever dared to do some of the things that kids do today.

It sounds as though your teen is truly a little out of control. Hitting them isn't the key to reestablishing control. Asking for help from the authorities you have been reported to, and appearing willing to accept that help is probably going to work best for you in a court or Family Services situation.
 

Gracie3787

Senior Member
What else should I have done when my 13 year old is sneaking out at 3am, (not the first time either) and taking away cell phones and internet has not worked?
In addition to mommyof4's excellant advice, you should also get yourself and your child into counseling ASAP.

Hitting a teen, in any way, even a swat on the rear is NOT the way to handle things. All that does is make the child even angrier, and the problems will only get worse when you use physical "punishment".

When my son kept sneaking out, getting into trouble, etc I did exactly what mommyof4 advised you to do. My son hated it, and slowly he gained all of his things back, but it did take some time and counseling.
 

ecmst12

Senior Member
If a kid hasn't learned to respect his parents by the time he's a teenager, smacking him around certainly isn't going to help.
 

mommyof4

Senior Member
If a kid hasn't learned to respect his parents by the time he's a teenager, smacking him around certainly isn't going to help.
My oldest (13, almost 14) is bigger than I am. If I smacked her, I know she wouldn't hit me back, but I can guarantee that she would never fully trust or respect me again. On top of the pain that smacking her would cause HER, I know the look in her eyes from there on out would break my heart.
 
If a kid hasn't learned to respect his parents by the time he's a teenager, smacking him around certainly isn't going to help.
Ditto....I have a 17 yo and a 10 yo, I can't remember the last time I had to "spank" either one of them. When they were younger (5 or 6), they learned what was acceptable and how far they could push me. If you haven't taught them consequences, less physical, by that time......you have created your own problems.

Now, on a side note, my 17 yo has pushed me to the point where I thought about "assaulting" him. He stole & wrecked 2 of my cars in less than a week....even then, I did not resort to physical punishment. But, he did learn some valuable lessons from that :D But, that is another story.....sorry to hijack
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
I did a pleanty at that age. And I turned out just fine. I also learned to respect my parents and elders, and do as I was asked! What else should I have done when my 13 year old is sneaking out at 3am, (not the first time either) and taking away cell phones and internet has not worked?
Great googlymoogly that is THE funniest thing I've read since...well, since the last troll now I think about it.

Re the underlined section: Oh I don't know. Try "effective parenting" ? I know, I know, it might be a novel idea or one of those new-fangled peacenik do-gooder ideas to some but I've heard that it actually works occasionally!

Who'da thunk it?
 
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