Will a DVRO hinder his employment?

[Heartsqueen13]

My ex-husband has requested that I have the DVRO against him dismissed. He is attempting to move to Texas and says that the record of the DVRO will make it hard for him to get a job. It expires 12/17. I am not in fear for my life at this moment, but the potential for him to come after me in the future still scares me. Will the DVRO effect his opportunity for employment? There has been no criminal charge associated with it.

 

[CTU]

My ex-husband has requested that I have the DVRO against him dismissed. He is attempting to move to Texas and says that the record of the DVRO will make it hard for him to get a job. It expires 12/17. I am not in fear for my life at this moment, but the potential for him to come after me in the future still scares me. Will the DVRO effect his opportunity for employment? There has been no criminal charge associated with it.

He's already breaking the restraining order by contacting you, isn't he?

This is his problem - not yours. A DVRO can absolutely affect his career choices and his finances - but these are consequences for his actions and you don't actually have the power to drop or dismiss the order; that decision is completely out of your hands.

If you are afraid of what he might do in the future, you need to put your own safety far, far above his job requirements. Please don't acquiesce. And please, report him for breaking the current RO if that's what he's actually doing. If he would use your refusal or inability to help him as an excuse to come after you in the future, he'll use whatever excuse he can find at any given moment.

Please don't be a statistic.

 

[stealth2]

+1

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[Just Blue]

+1

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[Heartsqueen13]

He's already breaking the restraining order by contacting you, isn't he?

This is his problem - not yours. A DVRO can absolutely affect his career choices and his finances - but these are consequences for his actions and you don't actually have the power to drop or dismiss the order; that decision is completely out of your hands.

If you are afraid of what he might do in the future, you need to put your own safety far, far above his job requirements. Please don't acquiesce. And please, report him for breaking the current RO if that's what he's actually doing. If he would use your refusal or inability to help him as an excuse to come after you in the future, he'll use whatever excuse he can find at any given moment.

Please don't be a statistic.

Thank you. No, he is not breaking the order by contacting me. We have two children together, the order allows for text and email communications. I hope I didn't imply that I was actually thinking about having the order dismissed, my question was posed because I thought he was using the employment avenue to try to get me to dismiss the order. He is a firearm enthusiast, and I know this is his main concern with the DVRO.

What I have also read is that because the DVRO is out of California, it shouldn't affect his employment opportunities as a mechanic in Texas.

 

[LdiJ]

Thank you. No, he is not breaking the order by contacting me. We have two children together, the order allows for text and email communications. I hope I didn't imply that I was actually thinking about having the order dismissed, my question was posed because I thought he was using the employment avenue to try to get me to dismiss the order. He is a firearm enthusiast, and I know this is his main concern with the DVRO.

What I have also read is that because the DVRO is out of California, it shouldn't affect his employment opportunities as a mechanic in Texas.

Yes he is breaking the order. He is discussing something with you that has absolutely nothing to do with the children. Him trying to get you to drop the order is a blatant violation of the order.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Thank you. No, he is not breaking the order by contacting me. We have two children together, the order allows for text and email communications. I hope I didn't imply that I was actually thinking about having the order dismissed, my question was posed because I thought he was using the employment avenue to try to get me to dismiss the order. He is a firearm enthusiast, and I know this is his main concern with the DVRO.

What I have also read is that because the DVRO is out of California, it shouldn't affect his employment opportunities as a mechanic in Texas.

I'm pretty sure that the intent of that allowance in the order is to allow you to communicate information about the children and only the children. Like, when pick ups/drop offs are, and information about the children.

Even if he tried to claim that's what he's using for ("If you want child support, then you gotta drop that DVRO so I can get a job." "I'd be able to get a job and pay for Betsy's polo pony if only you'd drop the DVRO!") - it's not going to fly.

There is *no* (legally) valid reason for him to be mentioning the DVRO in his email of texts. Report it any time it happens.

 

[Heartsqueen13]

I'm pretty sure that the intent of that allowance in the order is to allow you to communicate information about the children and only the children. Like, when pick ups/drop offs are, and information about the children.

Even if he tried to claim that's what he's using for ("If you want child support, then you gotta drop that DVRO so I can get a job." "I'd be able to get a job and pay for Betsy's polo pony if only you'd drop the DVRO!") - it's not going to fly.

There is *no* (legally) valid reason for him to be mentioning the DVRO in his email of texts. Report it any time it happens.

Thank you all. I honestly didn't even imagine that, yet again, his manipulation knows no bounds.

 

[CTU]

Thank you all. I honestly didn't even imagine that, yet again, his manipulation knows no bounds.

Abusers are very, very good at that and will often assume (too often, correctly) that their victim will remain an easy target forever.

Stay strong in your resolve.