Will my boyfriend be found guilty and get locked up?

[herdez_kari]

san diego, california

hi me and my boyfriend had an arugment and it went overboard. I was slapping him and in defense he grabbed a pair of scissors and threaten to kill me...he also physically grabbed my wrist really hard but left no bruise....i called the police and they arrested him....i found out that he got two charges...one is a spousal battery and the other charge i believe is called a ''terrorist attack'' which means he threaten to kill me.....he got a bail of $50,000 and one of his friends bailed him out...he has court next tuesday to verify if hes found guilty or not...i wrote a letter stating i want to drop charges and wish not to proceed with the case...so my question is "is there a possibilty he can be found guilty and get locked up even if i decide to drop charges and theres no evidence of brusing and as far as i know i am the aggressor?"
we are in the state of california in san diego...thanks for your help

 

[CdwJava]

san diego, california

hi me and my boyfriend had an arugment and it went overboard. I was slapping him and in defense he grabbed a pair of scissors and threaten to kill me...he also physically grabbed my wrist really hard but left no bruise....i called the police and they arrested him....i found out that he got two charges...one is a spousal battery and the other charge i believe is called a ''terrorist attack'' which means he threaten to kill me.....

If the domestic battery left no visible injuries, he was likely charged with a misdemeanor per PC 243(e). The other offense used to be called "terrorist threats" but is more accurately "criminal threats" and is a serious, violent felony per PC 422, though the $50,000 bail is awfully low for that.

i wrote a letter stating i want to drop charges and wish not to proceed with the case...so my question is "is there a possibilty he can be found guilty and get locked up even if i decide to drop charges and theres no evidence of brusing and as far as i know i am the aggressor?"
we are in the state of california in san diego...thanks for your help

You have no say whatsoever in the prosecution of the offense. Your letter may or may not have even been read - it depends on who you sent it to.

If you want to express your desires, speak to the prosecuting attorney and tell him or her that you do not wish to see him prosecuted. he may tell you, "tough," and proceed anyway. He might also decide to have you sign a whole bunch of legal paperwork that says you will not sue them or the police when/if he harms you in the future, etc.

 

[mistoffolees]

You have no say whatsoever in the prosecution of the offense. Your letter may or may not have even been read - it depends on who you sent it to.

If you want to express your desires, speak to the prosecuting attorney and tell him or her that you do not wish to see him prosecuted. he may tell you, "tough," and proceed anyway. He might also decide to have you sign a whole bunch of legal paperwork that says you will not sue them or the police when/if he harms you in the future, etc.

Of course, if she refuses to cooperate with the prosecution, it becomes much harder to prove, so her wishes carry a good deal of weight.

My problem with the situation is that OP admits to slapping him in the course of an argument. Why wasn't she charged?

 

[1ProSe]

Even if you are the aggressor in the situation and he was acting in self defense, they have heard this before from wives that are truly scared for their lives if the husband does get convicted or in some cases even charged and taken to jail warrants a retaliation in the form of physical abuse. In other words, they think they are doing you a favor by prosecuting him anyway. Are the two of you still living together I take it? You need to start building a reason for them not to prosecute him and take it to the prosecuting attorney.

and I agree with the other poster, careful what you say in regards to your actions unless ye be willing to be charged with the crime.

I have seen cases where BOTH parties were charged with assault, I have seen cases where it was construed as "mutual combat"

you just never know

 

[Some Random Guy]

In other words, they think they are doing you a favor by prosecuting him anyway.

Or, the prosecutor thinks that they are doing the public a favor by stating that this behavior (threatening to kill somebody with a pair of scissors) will not be tolerated in the state of california, even if the victim thinks its acceptable. After he's done beating on you the next time, he may take it out on your children or on his next girlfriend.

 

[mistoffolees]

Even if you are the aggressor in the situation and he was acting in self defense, they have heard this before from wives that are truly scared for their lives if the husband does get convicted or in some cases even charged and taken to jail warrants a retaliation in the form of physical abuse. In other words, they think they are doing you a favor by prosecuting him anyway. Are the two of you still living together I take it? You need to start building a reason for them not to prosecute him and take it to the prosecuting attorney.

and I agree with the other poster, careful what you say in regards to your actions unless ye be willing to be charged with the crime.

I have seen cases where BOTH parties were charged with assault, I have seen cases where it was construed as "mutual combat"

Maybe THAT is her action. Turn herself in and say it was 'mutual combat'. Then they can get TWO violent people off the streets.

 

[CdwJava]

Of course, if she refuses to cooperate with the prosecution, it becomes much harder to prove, so her wishes carry a good deal of weight.

They can subpoena her ... and, if she recants, they will still have her prior statements. And if she commits perjury she could go to jail.

My problem with the situation is that OP admits to slapping him in the course of an argument. Why wasn't she charged?

Because in CA they tend to go after the primary aggressor. Apparently the police - and, perhaps the DA - believe that the he was the primary aggressor in this incident.

 

[CdwJava]

Maybe THAT is her action. Turn herself in and say it was 'mutual combat'. Then they can get TWO violent people off the streets.

The state tends to frown on filing against BOTH parties in DV situations out here. Does it happen? Sure. But they prefer to file on one party - for a number of legal and practical reasons.

 

[Isis1]

I'm not letting this one go. Grabbing a pair of scissors and threatening to kill some one is NOT and never will be self defense for a slap in the face. EVER!!

 

[mistoffolees]

They can subpoena her ... and, if she recants, they will still have her prior statements. And if she commits perjury she could go to jail.

I agree. But it's pretty hard for the state to do much with "it's all pretty hazy now, I really don't remember what happened" or "I had a couple of drinks and don't remember a thing about what happened that night".

They may still be able to prosecute, depending on what the police observed, but it's a lot tougher.

 

[CdwJava]

I agree. But it's pretty hard for the state to do much with "it's all pretty hazy now, I really don't remember what happened" or "I had a couple of drinks and don't remember a thing about what happened that night".

They may still be able to prosecute, depending on what the police observed, but it's a lot tougher.

It can be, but if she tips her hand by talking to the DA first, then she can find herself on the receiving end of a perjury charge. Typically they take the stand and have a hazy memory of what they told the cops, but a GREAT memory of what actually happened ... a jury can weigh that credibility and can choose to accept the initial statements made to the police if they can.

It's also why in some counties (like mine and when I was in San Diego County) we had DV victims write out their statements, or, better yet, we recorded them. Kinda hard to argue with those ... though when I was in San Diego County the written statements would sometimes get the claim, "I wrote what the officer told me to write ..."

On the other hand, some prosecutors will simply allow the woman to be a punching bag, document the refusal to cooperate to protect their tail ends, and let her become a future victim. Oh, and if there are children, CPS will get involved and CPS can - and often WILL - take children if there are repeat incidents. I have found that using the kids as leverage is a good way to gain cooperation of a recalcitrant victim until she can get her sea legs and stand on her own two feet away from her abuser.

 

[mistoffolees]

It can be, but if she tips her hand by talking to the DA first, then she can find herself on the receiving end of a perjury charge. Typically they take the stand and have a hazy memory of what they told the cops, but a GREAT memory of what actually happened ... a jury can weigh that credibility and can choose to accept the initial statements made to the police if they can.

It's also why in some counties (like mine and when I was in San Diego County) we had DV victims write out their statements, or, better yet, we recorded them. Kinda hard to argue with those ... though when I was in San Diego County the written statements would sometimes get the claim, "I wrote what the officer told me to write ..."

On the other hand, some prosecutors will simply allow the woman to be a punching bag, document the refusal to cooperate to protect their tail ends, and let her become a future victim. Oh, and if there are children, CPS will get involved and CPS can - and often WILL - take children if there are repeat incidents. I have found that using the kids as leverage is a good way to gain cooperation of a recalcitrant victim until she can get her sea legs and stand on her own two feet away from her abuser.

I just want to make it clear - I'm not defending the abuser. I wish they all were locked up for good. I'm just pointing out that prosecuting without her active assistance is an uphill battle. Yes, it's possible to win an uphill battle, but it's harder.

Far better if she can be convinced that abuse is not acceptable - EVEN ONCE - and participate in the prosecution.

(And, she needs to take anger management courses, too - since she is the one who started it).