• FreeAdvice has a new Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, effective May 25, 2018.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our Terms of Service and use of cookies.

Wrongly Accused of Stalking my Ex Fiance - Army/Teaching Career on the line? Plz Help

Accident - Bankruptcy - Criminal Law / DUI - Business - Consumer - Employment - Family - Immigration - Real Estate - Tax - Traffic - Wills   Please click a topic or scroll down for more.

marktoloba

Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

Hey guys, I am being falsely accused of "stalking" my ex fiance. We were engaged on Christmas and I found out she was cheating on me in February. We went through a rough break up, back and forth sorts of things. Anyways... The police was called by her mother (She is 22 but still lives at home with her son. I live approx 2 miles away), in which was a turning point where I finally decided to let go of the relationship. On top of the situation she still owed me $2300 for a car that I helped loan the money... There are alot of details going into this, so I have a journal i constructed. Granted it is from my side, but everything I say in it is the truth.

Anyways... her allegation say that I am threatening people in her household, her son, and her new boyfriend she cheated on me with which I guess currently lives with her. She has two police reports, both in which my opinion should never have been involved. She told the police I have weapons, that I'm dangerous, that I was outside her house at night, and that I own guns. In reality I've never been in a fight in my life, I serve in the Army for 8 years so I have a picture with me with a gun on facebook, I am a certified teacher in NYS and the only person who was ever threatened was the new boyfriend... which that went back and forth.... She is doing this to try and get back at me for the money I loaned her that I earned back in small claims court... and to hurt my career.

Nothing actually ever happened other than talking and threats nearly 5 months ago... but she lied to the police about all of these things... Below is my journal. I am not sure if I can actually read my journal in court or anything of that sort, but addresses all issues since it all began. Any advice would be eternally appreciated.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Name and I dated for approximately two year. On Christmas, I asked Name to marry me, she said yes. Within months we were looking places to move in together and start out life. Just me, her, and her son SonsName. The 2nd week in February, just before Valentines Day, I found out Name had been cheating on me and had sex with another guy.
The following 2-3 weeks were rough. We broke up but we still kept in contact, mostly at her work. During these weeks she still told me that she loved me, openly kissed me, etc. The last day I saw Name before her mother called the police at her work (March 10th), she still told me she loved me, kissed me, as well as had sexual relations with me in the bathroom at her work. Although it was a confusing time, everything was mutual and often she engaged first. Note: Name’s mother called the police, not her.

Last Summer I loaned Name over $2000 for her car and repairs, and she had promised to pay me monthly. She had been telling me since October that she couldn’t afford to pay me but was going to give me her taxes when they came in to pay me back towards the total, which was over $1000. Even during the breakup, she still promised me this, and was another reason for me to keep coming back, as she said it would be in any day. She just kept on blowing it off and blowing it off, she never ended up giving it to me.

After her mother called the police on March 10th, I waited to talk to the police to ask them advice, as I did nothing wrong and I was actually the victim in the situation. They told me that I would have to do everything through small claims court and that I should just try to move on, because it wasn’t worth it. That very same day I went to the justice to file for small claims.
April 9th, One month later with zero contact. We meet in small claims court and Name agrees to setup a payment plan to pay back the money she owed me. She never gave me the taxes like she promised and lied to me. The negotiations were as civil as they could be, she knew she owed me the money and promised to pay me $200 per month. She signed a contract in front of the judge. Because we settled “out of court” officially, there was no actual judgment made, the judge acted more as a mediator. She signed the contract, notarized by the Justice and overseen by the Judge. When Name was walking to her car I told her that I forgave her so that I could move on.

Approximately 2 months go by, I have not contacted Name or seen her. She has not attempted to pay me, work out anything with the payment plan, nothing… I went back to the Justice and the judge told me that it is my legal right to ask her why she isn’t paying. He told me that the contract she signed should be handled the same as a bank loan. With the judge’s permission, I filed for another court date and I planned to ask Name why she hadn’t paid me in person.

The next day I went to her house to talk to her. I knocked on the door and the man she cheated on me with answered the door. I asked where Name was and why she hadn’t paid me. He responded with nothing but threats and got in my face. I told him that if he was going to do something then do it, if not, the money or contract has nothing to do with him. I then got in the car and went to Name’s work at the local gas station. I grabbed and drink and tried to talk to her while I was in line to buy the drink. I asked her why she wasn’t paying, and she responded with a bunch of fake reason and lies about not being able to afford it and not being able to contact me to work something out. While I was talking to her, the guy comes in behind me threatening me again. I simply just left. I had every right to know why she was not paying me. It was my legal right. I did not threaten anybody… I did however not stand down when he got in my face. I am not a coward and I believe I should be able to defend yourself if threatened by somebody else.

A month passes of no contact… We met in front of the judge, this time officially. Within 5 minutes, and without even asking me a question, the judge awards me the judgment of $2300. He told her that she signed the contract willingly and that she needs to do as she promised. He told her that it is no different than a bank loan and that I did have the right to know why she wasn’t paying me. He referred to the situation like a collection agency talking to people who owe them money. They left and I never contacted them again, other than the letter requesting payment through the mail, which is the first step in the collection process.

I thought that everything was finally all over and a week later I get the letter in the mail saying I was “stalking” Name and that she was afraid for her life… My whole family and everyone I know couldn’t even believe it. Other than court and one instance with the judge’s permission, I have not seen Name in 4 months, or her son in 5 months. She is making up numerous lies about me having guns, and being dangerous. She has known me for over 2 years, she knows I don’t own a gun. She knows I have never been in a fight in my life. I was never outside her house at night. I was nowhere near her. I have never threatened her or her son SonsName in my life. I’d sooner take a bullet for SonsName than hurt him. I never even so much as spanked him when she wanted me to. I loved that kid enough to want to call him my son, and I planned on raising him as my son until she ruined it.

This whole “stalking” thing is nothing but a vendetta against me. She cheated on me, she owes me money, which she still hasn’t paid me even after the judgment, and she lies continuously. I did nothing to deserve any of it. The biggest mistake I had was asking her to marry me. I have served our country for 8 years. I am a certified teacher in NYS for Physical Education K-12. She is trying to do this to hurt my character, my career, and get out of paying the money that I loaned her out of the goodness of my heart. In all honestly, I would be happy to never see her again. She and her family have nothing to offer me. I feel bad that her son will have to grow up with nobody of character to look up to. I would like this all to just be done with so I can move on with my life.
 


Ohiogal

Queen Bee
What is the name of your state (only U.S. What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

Hey guys, I am being falsely accused of "stalking" my ex fiance. We were engaged on Christmas and I found out she was cheating on me in February. We went through a rough break up, back and forth sorts of things. Anyways... The police was called by her mother (She is 22 but still lives at home with her son. I live approx 2 miles away), in which was a turning point where I finally decided to let go of the relationship. On top of the situation she still owed me $2300 for a car that I helped loan the money... There are alot of details going into this, so I have a journal i constructed. Granted it is from my side, but everything I say in it is the truth.

Anyways... her allegation say that I am threatening people in her household, her son, and her new boyfriend she cheated on me with which I guess currently lives with her. She has two police reports, both in which my opinion should never have been involved. She told the police I have weapons, that I'm dangerous, that I was outside her house at night, and that I own guns. In reality I've never been in a fight in my life, I serve in the Army for 8 years so I have a picture with me with a gun on facebook, I am a certified teacher in NYS and the only person who was ever threatened was the new boyfriend... which that went back and forth.... She is doing this to try and get back at me for the money I loaned her that I earned back in small claims court... and to hurt my career.

Nothing actually ever happened other than talking and threats nearly 5 months ago... but she lied to the police about all of these things... Below is my journal. I am not sure if I can actually read my journal in court or anything of that sort, but addresses all issues since it all began. Any advice would be eternally appreciated.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Name and I dated for approximately two year. On Christmas, I asked Name to marry me, she said yes. Within months we were looking places to move in together and start out life. Just me, her, and her son SonsName. The 2nd week in February, just before Valentines Day, I found out Name had been cheating on me and had sex with another guy.
The following 2-3 weeks were rough. We broke up but we still kept in contact, mostly at her work. During these weeks she still told me that she loved me, openly kissed me, etc. The last day I saw Name before her mother called the police at her work (March 10th), she still told me she loved me, kissed me, as well as had sexual relations with me in the bathroom at her work. Although it was a confusing time, everything was mutual and often she engaged first. Note: Name’s mother called the police, not her.

Last Summer I loaned Name over $2000 for her car and repairs, and she had promised to pay me monthly. She had been telling me since October that she couldn’t afford to pay me but was going to give me her taxes when they came in to pay me back towards the total, which was over $1000. Even during the breakup, she still promised me this, and was another reason for me to keep coming back, as she said it would be in any day. She just kept on blowing it off and blowing it off, she never ended up giving it to me.

After her mother called the police on March 10th, I waited to talk to the police to ask them advice, as I did nothing wrong and I was actually the victim in the situation. They told me that I would have to do everything through small claims court and that I should just try to move on, because it wasn’t worth it. That very same day I went to the justice to file for small claims.
April 9th, One month later with zero contact. We meet in small claims court and Name agrees to setup a payment plan to pay back the money she owed me. She never gave me the taxes like she promised and lied to me. The negotiations were as civil as they could be, she knew she owed me the money and promised to pay me $200 per month. She signed a contract in front of the judge. Because we settled “out of court” officially, there was no actual judgment made, the judge acted more as a mediator. She signed the contract, notarized by the Justice and overseen by the Judge. When Name was walking to her car I told her that I forgave her so that I could move on.

Approximately 2 months go by, I have not contacted Name or seen her. She has not attempted to pay me, work out anything with the payment plan, nothing… I went back to the Justice and the judge told me that it is my legal right to ask her why she isn’t paying. He told me that the contract she signed should be handled the same as a bank loan. With the judge’s permission, I filed for another court date and I planned to ask Name why she hadn’t paid me in person.

The next day I went to her house to talk to her. I knocked on the door and the man she cheated on me with answered the door. I asked where Name was and why she hadn’t paid me. He responded with nothing but threats and got in my face. I told him that if he was going to do something then do it, if not, the money or contract has nothing to do with him. I then got in the car and went to Name’s work at the local gas station. I grabbed and drink and tried to talk to her while I was in line to buy the drink. I asked her why she wasn’t paying, and she responded with a bunch of fake reason and lies about not being able to afford it and not being able to contact me to work something out. While I was talking to her, the guy comes in behind me threatening me again. I simply just left. I had every right to know why she was not paying me. It was my legal right. I did not threaten anybody… I did however not stand down when he got in my face. I am not a coward and I believe I should be able to defend yourself if threatened by somebody else.

A month passes of no contact… We met in front of the judge, this time officially. Within 5 minutes, and without even asking me a question, the judge awards me the judgment of $2300. He told her that she signed the contract willingly and that she needs to do as she promised. He told her that it is no different than a bank loan and that I did have the right to know why she wasn’t paying me. He referred to the situation like a collection agency talking to people who owe them money. They left and I never contacted them again, other than the letter requesting payment through the mail, which is the first step in the collection process.

I thought that everything was finally all over and a week later I get the letter in the mail saying I was “stalking” Name and that she was afraid for her life… My whole family and everyone I know couldn’t even believe it. Other than court and one instance with the judge’s permission, I have not seen Name in 4 months, or her son in 5 months. She is making up numerous lies about me having guns, and being dangerous. She has known me for over 2 years, she knows I don’t own a gun. She knows I have never been in a fight in my life. I was never outside her house at night. I was nowhere near her. I have never threatened her or her son SonsName in my life. I’d sooner take a bullet for SonsName than hurt him. I never even so much as spanked him when she wanted me to. I loved that kid enough to want to call him my son, and I planned on raising him as my son until she ruined it.

This whole “stalking” thing is nothing but a vendetta against me. She cheated on me, she owes me money, which she still hasn’t paid me even after the judgment, and she lies continuously. I did nothing to deserve any of it. The biggest mistake I had was asking her to marry me. I have served our country for 8 years. I am a certified teacher in NYS for Physical Education K-12. She is trying to do this to hurt my character, my career, and get out of paying the money that I loaned her out of the goodness of my heart. In all honestly, I would be happy to never see her again. She and her family have nothing to offer me. I feel bad that her son will have to grow up with nobody of character to look up to. I would like this all to just be done with so I can move on with my life.
Your journal matters not. and how dare you when it comes to HER son. This child is NOT your child. This child is not your son. Her character was good enough for you to boink her and be with her and ask her to marry you. Now you want to insult her as having no character. What a hypocrite you are. As for having little character -- how dare you decide you were the child's father and he was your son when that was a lie.
 

marktoloba

Junior Member
Yes i call somebody that lies, cheats, and intentionally hurts somebody that did nothing but love them somebody of no character. I call her mother who raises children in the foster care system just for money yet doesn't actually care for her children, tuck them in, or even make sure they do hygiene somebody of no character. I am sure all 6 year olds can take care of them self though right?

And yes, I wanted to marry her and raise her son as my own. He had no father figure and she told me that I was one of the best things to happen for both of them. I wanted to get her out of her crappy living conditions because she cried to me on a regular basis about how sad she was. I did my best to provide for both of them because I am a good man. Hes 6 years old and he never met his father because he is in jail. As I said in my journal, i never threatened or even spanked her son when she wanted to, i loved him as if he was my own.... and I haven't saw him in 5 months. She cheated on me and now accuses me of doing something criminal to her when I haven't.

Now that you have insulted somebody without knowing the situation, still waiting on possible legal advice.
 
Last edited:

Ohiogal

Queen Bee
Yes i call somebody that lies, cheats, and intentionally hurts somebody that did nothing but love them somebody of no character. I call her mother who raises children in the foster care system just for money yet doesn't actually care for her children, tuck them in, or even make sure they do hygiene somebody of no character. I am sure all 6 year olds can take care of them self though right?

And yes, I wanted to marry her and raise her son as my own. He had no father figure and she told me that I was one of the best things to happen for both of them. I wanted to get her out of her crappy living conditions because she cried to me on a regular basis about how sad she was. I did my best to provide for both of them because I am a good man. Hes 6 years old and he never met his father because he is in jail. As I said in my journal, i never threatened or even spanked her son when she wanted to, i loved him as if he was my own.... and I haven't saw him in 5 months. She cheated on me and now accuses me of doing something criminal to her when I haven't.

Now that you have insulted somebody without knowing the situation, still waiting on possible legal advice.
And you were such a caring person that you didn't care to report her mother to the proper agency so she could no longer foster children. You didn't feel the need to do anything because you were boinking her daughter. You have nothing quite frankly. And you are the one of low to no character. Carry on.
 

Just Blue

Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

Hey guys, I am being falsely accused of "stalking" my ex fiance. We were engaged on Christmas and I found out she was cheating on me in February. We went through a rough break up, back and forth sorts of things. Anyways... The police was called by her mother (She is 22 but still lives at home with her son. I live approx 2 miles away), in which was a turning point where I finally decided to let go of the relationship. On top of the situation she still owed me $2300 for a car that I helped loan the money... There are alot of details going into this, so I have a journal i constructed. Granted it is from my side, but everything I say in it is the truth.

Anyways... her allegation say that I am threatening people in her household, her son, and her new boyfriend she cheated on me with which I guess currently lives with her. She has two police reports, both in which my opinion should never have been involved. She told the police I have weapons, that I'm dangerous, that I was outside her house at night, and that I own guns. In reality I've never been in a fight in my life, I serve in the Army for 8 years so I have a picture with me with a gun on facebook, I am a certified teacher in NYS and the only person who was ever threatened was the new boyfriend... which that went back and forth.... She is doing this to try and get back at me for the money I loaned her that I earned back in small claims court... and to hurt my career.

Nothing actually ever happened other than talking and threats nearly 5 months ago... but she lied to the police about all of these things... Below is my journal. I am not sure if I can actually read my journal in court or anything of that sort, but addresses all issues since it all began. Any advice would be eternally appreciated.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Name and I dated for approximately two year. On Christmas, I asked Name to marry me, she said yes. Within months we were looking places to move in together and start out life. Just me, her, and her son SonsName. The 2nd week in February, just before Valentines Day, I found out Name had been cheating on me and had sex with another guy.
The following 2-3 weeks were rough. We broke up but we still kept in contact, mostly at her work. During these weeks she still told me that she loved me, openly kissed me, etc. The last day I saw Name before her mother called the police at her work (March 10th), she still told me she loved me, kissed me, as well as had sexual relations with me in the bathroom at her work. Although it was a confusing time, everything was mutual and often she engaged first. Note: Name’s mother called the police, not her.

Last Summer I loaned Name over $2000 for her car and repairs, and she had promised to pay me monthly. She had been telling me since October that she couldn’t afford to pay me but was going to give me her taxes when they came in to pay me back towards the total, which was over $1000. Even during the breakup, she still promised me this, and was another reason for me to keep coming back, as she said it would be in any day. She just kept on blowing it off and blowing it off, she never ended up giving it to me.

After her mother called the police on March 10th, I waited to talk to the police to ask them advice, as I did nothing wrong and I was actually the victim in the situation. They told me that I would have to do everything through small claims court and that I should just try to move on, because it wasn’t worth it. That very same day I went to the justice to file for small claims.
April 9th, One month later with zero contact. We meet in small claims court and Name agrees to setup a payment plan to pay back the money she owed me. She never gave me the taxes like she promised and lied to me. The negotiations were as civil as they could be, she knew she owed me the money and promised to pay me $200 per month. She signed a contract in front of the judge. Because we settled “out of court” officially, there was no actual judgment made, the judge acted more as a mediator. She signed the contract, notarized by the Justice and overseen by the Judge. When Name was walking to her car I told her that I forgave her so that I could move on.

Approximately 2 months go by, I have not contacted Name or seen her. She has not attempted to pay me, work out anything with the payment plan, nothing… I went back to the Justice and the judge told me that it is my legal right to ask her why she isn’t paying. He told me that the contract she signed should be handled the same as a bank loan. With the judge’s permission, I filed for another court date and I planned to ask Name why she hadn’t paid me in person.

The next day I went to her house to talk to her. I knocked on the door and the man she cheated on me with answered the door. I asked where Name was and why she hadn’t paid me. He responded with nothing but threats and got in my face. I told him that if he was going to do something then do it, if not, the money or contract has nothing to do with him. I then got in the car and went to Name’s work at the local gas station. I grabbed and drink and tried to talk to her while I was in line to buy the drink. I asked her why she wasn’t paying, and she responded with a bunch of fake reason and lies about not being able to afford it and not being able to contact me to work something out. While I was talking to her, the guy comes in behind me threatening me again. I simply just left. I had every right to know why she was not paying me. It was my legal right. I did not threaten anybody… I did however not stand down when he got in my face. I am not a coward and I believe I should be able to defend yourself if threatened by somebody else.

A month passes of no contact… We met in front of the judge, this time officially. Within 5 minutes, and without even asking me a question, the judge awards me the judgment of $2300. He told her that she signed the contract willingly and that she needs to do as she promised. He told her that it is no different than a bank loan and that I did have the right to know why she wasn’t paying me. He referred to the situation like a collection agency talking to people who owe them money. They left and I never contacted them again, other than the letter requesting payment through the mail, which is the first step in the collection process.

I thought that everything was finally all over and a week later I get the letter in the mail saying I was “stalking” Name and that she was afraid for her life… My whole family and everyone I know couldn’t even believe it. Other than court and one instance with the judge’s permission, I have not seen Name in 4 months, or her son in 5 months. She is making up numerous lies about me having guns, and being dangerous. She has known me for over 2 years, she knows I don’t own a gun. She knows I have never been in a fight in my life. I was never outside her house at night. I was nowhere near her. I have never threatened her or her son SonsName in my life. I’d sooner take a bullet for SonsName than hurt him. I never even so much as spanked him when she wanted me to. I loved that kid enough to want to call him my son, and I planned on raising him as my son until she ruined it.

This whole “stalking” thing is nothing but a vendetta against me. She cheated on me, she owes me money, which she still hasn’t paid me even after the judgment, and she lies continuously. I did nothing to deserve any of it. The biggest mistake I had was asking her to marry me. I have served our country for 8 years. I am a certified teacher in NYS for Physical Education K-12. She is trying to do this to hurt my character, my career, and get out of paying the money that I loaned her out of the goodness of my heart. In all honestly, I would be happy to never see her again. She and her family have nothing to offer me. I feel bad that her son will have to grow up with nobody of character to look up to. I would like this all to just be done with so I can move on with my life.
After reading through your post...sounds like stalking to me.

In my writings I am a Fae with mistical powers...Is it TRUE? No...but it looks good on paper!! :p
Your writings mean nothing to a court of LAW. ;);)
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
The OP isn't upset that he was accused of making threats, as he readily admits he made them. He simply wants the record to reflect exactly WHO he threatened.
 

Ladyback1

Senior Member
Well...if a creditor showed up at my doorstep (and my work) demanding to know why I hadn't paid, I'd call the cops too!

There is a legal process to determine why someone hasn't paid a debt. At least here there is; it's called a debtor's exam. Paperwork has to be filed with the court, the court sets a date for a hearing and the debtor must appear with all their financial information and prove to the court that they don't have the means to pay.

Accusing you of stalking is different than the prosecutor pursuing charges. Have you received anything indicating that there are legal charges that you will have to answer to in court??

If you want to have nothing further to do with her/her family: 1) then don't contact further--ignore any communications from them 2) turn the judgment over to a debt collection company and let them handle it (you may or may not ever see the money. But, surely, you've figured that out by now 3) move on with your life...
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
The next day I went to her house to talk to her. I knocked on the door and the man she cheated on me with answered the door. I asked where Name was and why she hadn’t paid me. He responded with nothing but threats and got in my face. I told him that if he was going to do something then do it, if not, the money or contract has nothing to do with him.
If the money and contract had nothing to do with him, why did you ask him why she hadn't paid? :confused:
 

davew128

Senior Member
If the money and contract had nothing to do with him, why did you ask him why she hadn't paid? :confused:
Presumably since he likely knew about it, since that was OP's only reason to deal with these Springer wannabe's at this point.

As for the OP actually committing the crime of stalking?

http://www.safehorizon.org/page/new-york-state-stalking-laws-28.html

Penal Code § 120.45. Stalking in the fourth degree. 1999.

A person is guilty of stalking in the fourth degree when he or she intentionally, and for no legitimate purpose, engages in a course of conduct directed at a specific person, and knows or reasonably should know that such conduct:

is likely to cause reasonable fear of material harm to the physical health, safety or property of such person, a member of such person's immediate family or a third party with whom such person is acquainted; or
causes material harm to the mental or emotional health of such person, where such conduct consists of following, telephoning or initiating communication or contact with such person, a member of such person's immediate family or a third party with whom such person is acquainted, and the actor was previously clearly informed to cease that conduct; or
is likely to cause such person to reasonably fear that his or her employment, business or career is threatened, where such conduct consists of appearing, telephoning or initiating communication or contact at such person's place of employment or business, and the actor was previously clearly informed to cease that conduct.

Not sure that stalking is a clear fit in any of the three categories based on what we're told. An argument could be made that he was, but its not a slam dunk, and the "victims" aren't terribly sympathetic or credible, especially if they made ANY false allegations in the matter.

Ladyback1 had it right. Hire a debt collector and move on.
 

Find the Right Lawyer for Your Legal Issue!

Fast, Free, and Confidential
data-ad-format="auto">
Top