Wrongly charged with Domestic violence, please help

[dj3201]

I am a 22 year old male that lives in Wisconsin. My girlfriend of five years and i recently broke up, and she moved out a couple weeks ago. We have been trying to still be friends. Last night we went out for a little while, then I had her drop me off at a bar, and she told me to call her when I needed a ride. After I left the bar I called her like she said and got no answer. Her roommate called me back and said she saw I called and that my ex was sleeping but she (the roommate) could give me a ride. I told her I would call back with the address of where I was. I called back a few minutes later and got no answer. I was only a few blocks from their house so I walked over, hoping to get a ride home. I knocked on the door and my ex answered topless and i saw someone moving out of her bed. I asked to use the bathroom and went inside. I saw a man moving from my ex's bed to her roommate's, pretending like he was sleeping in there. My ex and I started arguing outside, I asked who he was and she wouldnt tell me. Sometime during this discussion she punched me in the mouth. I went inside again to ask this guy who he was. Turns out it was a guy that she claimed not to be seeing. Him and I got into a physical altercation, some punches were thrown and a window was broken. My ex got me on the ground and restrained me. The other guy left, and before I made it to the door the police were there. They questioned me separately, and my ex and her roommate together. They said I was under arrest for a domestic incident and I was taken to jail. Am I being charged with the wrong crime? She punched me, but I never touched her. I have the marks to prove it. I fought with the other man, but why am I being charged with a domestic??

 

[justalayman]

what is the actual statute being charged?


and just a bit of advice: what she does now is none of your business. You should learn that and accept it. You had no right to demand anything of her nor interfere with her relationship with the guy.

 

[dj3201]

I'm not sure of the actual charge, as this happened last night, and my court date is in two days. I realize it was none of my concern, I did make a mistake but there is a lot more leading up to this. I just don't believe that the situation constitutes domestic violence simply because we used to live together.

 

[justalayman]

. I just don't believe that the situation constitutes domestic violence simply because we used to live together.

that is where the actual charge would be helpful. They list the requirements of the crime and a simple reading would generally allow one to determine if the charge was just or not.

 

[dj3201]

Yeah I read what constitutes domestic violence and I dont believe this falls in that category. I wish I knew the actual charge also. I just want to know why I'm being charged when she hit me, and how to dispute this. I know I committed a crime by fighting, but I never threatened, intimidated, or hit her.

 

[justalayman]

do you have a child in common with the former girlfriend? If not, I could not find a statute that would allow domestic abuse to be charge without a stretch of the definitions within the statute.

 

[dj3201]

No, no children. I haven't found anything to support the charge either. I'm just worried, her and her roommate are pretty scandalous and I'm not sure what their side of the story is. I haven't been charged yet but I don't know what to expect.

 

[justalayman]

not much you can do until charged. Sounds like it's wait and see what happens. Maybe upon review the DA will decide that DV isn't applicable and not continue the charges as is. That doesn't mean you won't be charged with something as they can change what they are charging if they see fit.

 

[LdiJ]

I am a 22 year old male that lives in Wisconsin. My girlfriend of five years and i recently broke up, and she moved out a couple weeks ago. We have been trying to still be friends. Last night we went out for a little while, then I had her drop me off at a bar, and she told me to call her when I needed a ride. After I left the bar I called her like she said and got no answer. Her roommate called me back and said she saw I called and that my ex was sleeping but she (the roommate) could give me a ride. I told her I would call back with the address of where I was. I called back a few minutes later and got no answer. I was only a few blocks from their house so I walked over, hoping to get a ride home. I knocked on the door and my ex answered topless and i saw someone moving out of her bed. I asked to use the bathroom and went inside. I saw a man moving from my ex's bed to her roommate's, pretending like he was sleeping in there. My ex and I started arguing outside, I asked who he was and she wouldnt tell me. Sometime during this discussion she punched me in the mouth. I went inside again to ask this guy who he was. Turns out it was a guy that she claimed not to be seeing. Him and I got into a physical altercation, some punches were thrown and a window was broken. My ex got me on the ground and restrained me. The other guy left, and before I made it to the door the police were there. They questioned me separately, and my ex and her roommate together. They said I was under arrest for a domestic incident and I was taken to jail. Am I being charged with the wrong crime? She punched me, but I never touched her. I have the marks to prove it. I fought with the other man, but why am I being charged with a domestic??

1) You should never have gone to their house.
2) You should never have asked to use the bathroom.
3) You should have left when you realized that someone else was there.
4) You should never have gotten into a verbal or otherwise altercation with your ex.
5) You should never have gotten into an altercation with the other guy.

All in all, you messed up.

 

[justalayman]

but regardless of all that, I want the ex's address. If his ex is answering the door topless, I need to verify that for myself.