16 and 20 year old sons smoking pot pt.II

[Lebowski GC]

What is the name of your state? CA

Hello everyone here. I had been following the first part of this thread intensely, and I thought it was extremely healthy for everyone here to open up the debate about this somewhat taboo topic. I am shocked though, that a mod closed the thread before I had a chance to voice my opinion. Why was this action taken? Did the thread in some way break the rules? Or does this forum censor whatever it subjectively deems "inapropriate".
In any case I think that this discussion must continue, but this time PLEASE, dont come in and bash peoples personal lives. If you want to defend your point do so politely and with FACTS and ARGUMENTS. Lets not have this spiral into a "point out typos" fest.

As for the woman who was concerned about her children, I assume you want to find a solution, as in an action that will solve the current problem at hand.
IMO, calling the police on your son will solve nothing at all, in fact, it will make matters worse. Just because your son smokes pot doesnt mean he is necessarily headed toward some kind of horrible doom, but by calling the authorities on him, you're just pushing him off the edge of the cliff, potentially shattering you're already fragile relationship with him.
I think the healthyest solution is a nice, open, and truthfull discussion. This may prove difficult if you're relationship is already precarious, but sending him to jail isnt going to help that at ALL.
Have a discussion, tell him that there are 2 types of drug users, those who use drugs responsibly and recreationally, and those who are just looking to get ****ed up to escape their problems. Show him that if he can handle his smoking responsibly, and still lead a responsible life (eg keeping a good GPA, helping u out around the house, getting a job etc...) then its not so much of a problem.

And EXCUSE ME if I made a typo in that

edit: mods, its up to you wether or not you decide to delete this thread, but, as I said before, nothing bad can come from a polite debate.

 

[CdwJava]

Have a discussion, tell him that there are 2 types of drug users, those who use drugs responsibly and recreationally, and those who are just looking to get ****ed up to escape their problems. Show him that if he can handle his smoking responsibly, and still lead a responsible life (eg keeping a good GPA, helping u out around the house, getting a job etc...) then its not so much of a problem.

Oh, good! Tell the boy that it's okay to flaunt the law!

Just wonderful! What wonderful parenting that would be!

And when word of this discussion gets out, guess whose son might get taken away by CPS?

- Carl

 

[Just Blue]

Oh, good! Tell the boy that it's okay to flaunt the law!

Just wonderful! What wonderful parenting that would be!

And when word of this discussion gets out, guess whose son might get taken away by CPS?

- Carl

Carl....there was an entire thread about this...this idiot just wants to beat a dead horse...I think there was one poster with a bunch of screen names on the other thread...This person wants to debate the "correctness" of the drug laws...

 

[CdwJava]

Carl....there was an entire thread about this...this idiot just wants to beat a dead horse...I think there was one poster with a bunch of screen names on the other thread...This person wants to debate the "correctness" of the drug laws...

Ah!

I stopped reading that previous thread after a couple of posts.

Thanks.

- Carl

 

[Lebowski GC]

Oh, good! Tell the boy that it's okay to flaunt the law!

Just wonderful! What wonderful parenting that would be!

And when word of this discussion gets out, guess whose son might get taken away by CPS?

- Carl

This is not a question of wether or not what her son does is illegal. This is a question of wether or not what he does will make him fail at life/ harm him.
Laws arent always right sir, and our country is based on the fact that if you think something is wrong, you go out and do you're best to change that. I dont think this boy deserves to go to jail because he smoked a joint. I beleive he needs proper education about what he is doing, and how it can affect him, regardless of what punishment our hypocritical government decides he needs.

 

[Lebowski GC]

Carl....there was an entire thread about this...this idiot just wants to beat a dead horse...I think there was one poster with a bunch of screen names on the other thread...This person wants to debate the "correctness" of the drug laws...

Yes I do want to debate, and the people on this board who are currently acting like preschoolers obviously have no idea what a debate is. If you're not open to discussing this, then leave the thread.
And calling me an idiot was totally unwarranted, please leave.
And no, there are no multiple accounts here, the reason you were flooded with new members is because this thread was linked in another forum, where people actually care about discussing issues.

 

[CdwJava]

This is not a question of wether or not what her son does is illegal. This is a question of wether or not what he does will make him fail at life/ harm him.

Actually, since this site is purportedly for legal issues, it is about the law. What you propose is to teach a child disrespect for the law and to encourage a child to engage in dangerous AND illegal behavior. This path could result in the child being seized and removed from the home.

Laws arent always right sir, and our country is based on the fact that if you think something is wrong, you go out and do you're best to change that.

Presuming you are of legal age, than YOU promote a pro-drug platform of propositions and candidates. Unfortunately they are gaining ground thanks to Prop 215 and prop 36 and my career is only getting more secure because of these so-called "prevention" measures.

But, hey, what has safety or cost effectiveness have to do with it when someone can get high?

I dont think this boy deserves to go to jail because he smoked a joint. I beleive he needs proper education about what he is doing, and how it can affect him, regardless of what punishment our hypocritical government decides he needs.

In CA and in most other states he would not go to jail - OR to juvenile hall.

And, by your statements ("hypocritical government", etc.), a discussion is not what you are interested in. So, you may have the last say because arguments of this sort are pointless. if you want to discuss the validity of drug laws, there are many other sites that will welcome your input.

- Carl

 

[Just Blue]

Yes I do want to debate, and the people on this board who are currently acting like preschoolers obviously have no idea what a debate is. If you're not open to discussing this, then leave the thread.
And calling me an idiot was totally unwarranted, please leave.
And no, there are no multiple accounts here, the reason you were flooded with new members is because this thread was linked in another forum, where people actually care about discussing issues.

What you and the others fail to see, is this is not about the "hypocrisy" of the drug laws...This is a LEGAL advice site...Therefor the original poster was looking for LEGAL answers to her dilemma! Not whether or not she should "allow" her son to smoke pot and the medical damage it would do! The ORIGINAL poster was concerned about her son's illegal drug use...
POT IS ILLEGAL
POT IS ILLEGAL
Do you understand that POT IS ILLEGAL???

Now, my opinion is that Prohibition is a waste of taxpayers dollars...if morons want to put that crap in their system..LET them! Have the same laws that apply to drinking ...lets cut down on OC and gang related dealing! Put the frickin money into education and social services!
That is my personal opinion ...BUT IT IS NOT THE LAW!
Again ..this is a legal forum and the crap that your "buddies" in the "Legalize Hemp!" website fail to see is that you are in the wrong place!

 

[Lebowski GC]

What you propose is to teach a child disrespect for the law and to encourage a child to engage in dangerous AND illegal behavior. This path could result in the child being seized and removed from the home.

You calling potsmoking dangerous is no more different than me calling our government hypocritical. It is a subjective opinion.
And I do know that if a parent knowingly allows their child to participate in illegal activities is against the law. But as I said before this is not a question of wether or not what the child is doing is illegal. Lets forget the laws and be realistic.
To be realistic you need to look at the real consequences of this person's acts. Not the imposed consequences of his acts (which of course in my opinion do more harm than good). Has this boy's smoking habit had any negative effect on his school life, or life in general? Unfortunately the OP didnt provide that, but she should take that into heavy consideration.
What im trying to say is that the OP took a problem and blew it up, freaked out, and is at the border of making a rash decision, Instead of sitting down with her child and working out the problem verbally.

 

[Lebowski GC]

What you and the others fail to see, is this is not about the "hypocrisy" of the drug laws...This is a LEGAL advice site...Therefor the original poster was looking for LEGAL answers to her dilemma! Not whether or not she should "allow" her son to smoke pot and the medical damage it would do! The ORIGINAL poster was concerned about her son's illegal drug use...
POT IS ILLEGAL
POT IS ILLEGAL
Do you understand that POT IS ILLEGAL???

Now, my opinion is that Prohibition is a waste of taxpayers dollars...if morons want to put that crap in their system..LET them! Have the same laws that apply to drinking ...lets cut down on OC and gang related dealing! Put the frickin money into education and social services!
That is my personal opinion ...BUT IT IS NOT THE LAW!
Again ..this is a legal forum and the crap that your "buddies" in the "Legalize Hemp!" website fail to see is that you are in the wrong place!

What you fail to see, is that the lady was asking if she SHOULD or SHOULD NOT call the cops on her son.
Yeah, if it were up to the people on this forum she should, because seemingly everyone here abides by the law.
Where we come in is that were trying to show that calling the cops is by far the best solution to her dilemma, in fact it will only make things worse for her relationship. And we prove our point by explaining to you all that what he is doing is not as bad as everyone thinks.

 

[Just Blue]

What you fail to see, is that the lady was asking if she SHOULD or SHOULD NOT call the cops on her son.
Yeah, if it were up to the people on this forum she should, because seemingly everyone here abides by the law.
Where we come in is that were trying to show that calling the cops is by far the best solution to her dilemma, in fact it will only make things worse for her relationship. And we prove our point by explaining to you all that what he is doing is not as bad as everyone thinks.

What you fail to see is that pot is illegal...

If the problem was crack...would you have the same attitude? How about heroine? OxiC? X?...Where is the line drawn?? Why is okay to break some laws and not others? Do you have a child? Do you have any idea what this woman could face legally if she passively condones her minor childs drug use?

 

[Lebowski GC]

[/U][/B]

What you fail to see is that pot is illegal...

If everyone blindly abided by the law, we would never have gained independance from england, slavery would be legal, and women wouldnt be allowed to vote.
If the OP wanted to know whether or not pot is illegal, she wouldnt have posted in the first place. She wanted to know if she should turn in her son or not which is a question of morality not legality.

 

[Just Blue]

If everyone blindly abided by the law, we would never have gained independance from england, slavery would be legal, and women wouldnt be allowed to vote.
If the OP wanted to know whether or not pot is illegal, she wouldnt have posted in the first place. She wanted to know if she should turn in her son or not which is a question of morality not legality.

Please read my edited post.

 

[Lebowski GC]

Please read my edited post.

Harder drugs have nothing to do with this issue, but if that was the case, I would suggest that the mother place her son in rehab as those drugs are extremly difficult to impossible to handle responsibly, and without help. Pot is not physically addictive as those drugs are, and therefore should be considered differently.

And I have yet to hear your opinion on the matter. Do you think her son would benefit from being arrested?

 

[smutlydog]

What is the name of your state? CA

Hello everyone here. I had been following the first part of this thread intensely, and I thought it was extremely healthy for everyone here to open up the debate about this somewhat taboo topic. I am shocked though, that a mod closed the thread before I had a chance to voice my opinion. Why was this action taken? Did the thread in some way break the rules? Or does this forum censor whatever it subjectively deems "inapropriate".
In any case I think that this discussion must continue, but this time PLEASE, dont come in and bash peoples personal lives. If you want to defend your point do so politely and with FACTS and ARGUMENTS. Lets not have this spiral into a "point out typos" fest.

As for the woman who was concerned about her children, I assume you want to find a solution, as in an action that will solve the current problem at hand.
IMO, calling the police on your son will solve nothing at all, in fact, it will make matters worse. Just because your son smokes pot doesnt mean he is necessarily headed toward some kind of horrible doom, but by calling the authorities on him, you're just pushing him off the edge of the cliff, potentially shattering you're already fragile relationship with him.
I think the healthyest solution is a nice, open, and truthfull discussion. This may prove difficult if you're relationship is already precarious, but sending him to jail isnt going to help that at ALL.
Have a discussion, tell him that there are 2 types of drug users, those who use drugs responsibly and recreationally, and those who are just looking to get ****ed up to escape their problems. Show him that if he can handle his smoking responsibly, and still lead a responsible life (eg keeping a good GPA, helping u out around the house, getting a job etc...) then its not so much of a problem.

And EXCUSE ME if I made a typo in that

edit: mods, its up to you wether or not you decide to delete this thread, but, as I said before, nothing bad can come from a polite debate.

Rationalizing his behavior isn't a good idea at all. She can support him without condoning what he does. There isn't a crystal ball that we can look at to see what direction this boy is headed. I can tell you that everyone thought I was a nice boy going through a stage. That turned out not to be true and yes my mother let me smoke dope. I can only refer you to my previous post on the other thread. Any drug is bad so why on earth would she want to tell her son it's OK.
https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=320333


Now I don't know if this man is the father of those boys. Anyway you look at it the parents need to be brought in for counseling as well.

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?p=1342795#post1342795