Husband with issues

[poof]

What is the name of your state? Texas

My husband last year had a felony conviction charge with possession of less than one gram of cocaine. (He actually would have had two, but his mom hired an expensive attorney and had one charge dropped.) He went to rehab, said he turned over a new leaf, etc. I am in the medical profession, have never tried or would think of trying drugs, and do not agree with it. I recently found weed in my husband's backpack. He said it wasn't a big deal, the charges would be minimal if he was caught with it, etc. Well, it scares me half to death. Not only that this is the beginning of a downward spiral into never never land with drugs (he has done it all - "sryup", pills, weed, cocaine, booze), but also the implications it would have to me. He said nothing would happen to me. How can he be so sure?

 

[CALIF-PRO36]

What is the name of your state? Texas

My husband last year had a felony conviction charge with possession of less than one gram of cocaine. (He actually would have had two, but his mom hired an expensive attorney and had one charge dropped.) He went to rehab, said he turned over a new leaf, etc. I am in the medical profession, have never tried or would think of trying drugs, and do not agree with it. I recently found weed in my husband's backpack. He said it wasn't a big deal, the charges would be minimal if he was caught with it, etc. Well, it scares me half to death. Not only that this is the beginning of a downward spiral into never never land with drugs (he has done it all - "sryup", pills, weed, cocaine, booze), but also the implications it would have to me. He said nothing would happen to me. How can he be so sure?

My response:

What is it that you want from this site? Did you just want to "rant", or did you have a legitimate "legal" question?

IAAL

 

[poof]

Good point. I guess I was ranting.
Legal question: If the cops find weed in our home, what happens to me if it is not mine?
Legal question 2: My husband has a prior felony conviction, what would happen to him if he was caught with 1-2 ounces of weed?

 

[StickyFingers]

Good point. I guess I was ranting.
Legal question: If the cops find weed in our home, what happens to me if it is not mine?
Legal question 2: My husband has a prior felony conviction, what would happen to him if he was caught with 1-2 ounces of weed?

Kick his ass to the curb...change locks..make yourself unavailable at work...Change your schedule.

IF you really like your job and the stability it gives you (and the steady pay day).....Then kick him and go on about your life. Love him enough to let him go.

And once you do.....get yourself some help ....I do not want a damaged health care worker like you taking care of me.

 

[CALIF-PRO36]

Good point. I guess I was ranting.


Legal question: If the cops find weed in our home, what happens to me if it is not mine?

MY RESPONSE: Since the police only have "police powers" to enforce the law, and are not "judge or jury" to make a decision who the drugs belong to, despite your husband's protests to the contrary, you could, theoretically, be arrested, charged, tried and convicted. The end result, of course, could very well be the suspension or loss of your medical license.



Legal question 2: My husband has a prior felony conviction, what would happen to him if he was caught with 1-2 ounces of weed?

MY RESPONSE: There would be no doubt that your husband would spend some jail time, since he has "priors" - - or, for that matter, you might be included in gaining your very own conviction, and garner a criminal record. Obviously, he doesn't learn, and would rather play "Russian Roulette" -- not only with himself, but with you too.

He may not care, but you have an education and license to protect. Either unload him, or take a chance. It's up to you.

IAAL

 

[poof]

Thank you for the posts. Just more confimation, it's what I needed.
Married to a drug addict, it's hard to determine reality from fiction sometimes.
My plans are to leave and fast.
Thanks again.

 

[CALIF-PRO36]

Thank you for the posts. Just more confimation, it's what I needed.
Married to a drug addict, it's hard to determine reality from fiction sometimes.
My plans are to leave and fast.
Thanks again.

My response:

Yes, it is hard to be married to an addict. I am absolutely sure that you love him, and that he loves you. That's not the question or issue. The issue is, of course, does he have the right to "take you down" with him? The answer to that, of course, is no. If you think of it in terms of separating "love" from "your life", you'll better understand.

Now, you only gave one scenario - - having drugs in your house. But, let's say the two of you are on a leisurely Sunday drive and all of a sudden, you and he see "red and blue lights" flashing behind the car. You've been stopped because of a burned out taillight. Then, a subsequent search of your car discloses that he had some drugs and a pipe in the center console of the car.

Guess what happens?

It's a difficult decision for you. There is absolutely no doubt. But, a "record" doesn't go away, and will definitely have a deleterious affect on you, your employment, and any future endeavors you decided to try. Background checks are commonplace; and, you most definitely could lose your job, and your "standing in the community." No one has the right to "control" any other person's destiny - - except a prison guard.

But, this is exactly what he's doing to you. Good luck with any decision you eventually decide upon.

IAAL

 

[StickyFingers]

My response:

Yes, it is hard to be married to an addict. I am absolutely sure that you love him, and that he loves you. That's not the question or issue. The issue is, of course, does he have the right to "take you down" with him? The answer to that, of course, is no. If you think of it in terms of separating "love" from "your life", you'll better understand.

Now, you only gave one scenario - - having drugs in your house. But, let's say the two of you are on a leisurely Sunday drive and all of a sudden, you and he see "red and blue lights" flashing behind the car. You've been stopped because of a burned out taillight. Then, a subsequent search of your car discloses that he had some drugs and a pipe in the center console of the car.

Guess what happens?

It's a difficult decision for you. There is absolutely no doubt. But, a "record" doesn't go away, and will definitely have a deleterious affect on you, your employment, and any future endeavors you decided to try. Background checks are commonplace; and, you most definitely could lose your job, and your "standing in the community." No one has the right to "control" any other person's destiny - - except a prison guard.

But, this is exactly what he's doing to you. Good luck with any decision you eventually decide upon.

IAAL

IAAL?.....Is that you?

 

[CALIF-PRO36]

IAAL?.....Is that you?

My response:

I know, I know . . . .

IAAL

 

[steveatx]

He's just a big ol' teddy bear inside.

 

[weenor]

IAAL?.....Is that you?

No- this is Glenda the GOOD paralegal (vs. the EVIL paralegal set loose earlier this year) in his office that hijacked his computer.

 

[CdwJava]

No- this is Glenda the GOOD paralegal (vs. the EVIL paralegal set loose earlier this year) in his office that hijacked his computer.

Or ... he got lucky last night.

It's the afterglow thing ...

- Carl

 

[SCOOTERDOD]

wow

i have seen this before with a friend, you bieng thier and knowing,he has a problem could very well reflect you ..ok if by chance he goes and gets drugs from his dealer ..now say his dealer is bieng watched ...ok so now you get raided in that little triangle of crime. now it dont matter that your clean you know what he does..ok you said you are in the medical field now if your a nurse or somthing along those lines .this means you had to take some kind of state boards test...and could loose your job and houser, car, everything this is only trouble and as long as you are with him and know what he does you can go down just like him**************.



now here is what happen to my friend and his wife ..

he was a dope smoker just weed, and she new it and she also was a nurse. he got them raided at about 5:00 am one morning ..now she never touched the stuff or any other drug, but she new about it and did nothing to help her situation..this is what happen to them**************....

they took the house,car,her licsense,yup she will never work in the medical field again,kids child endangerment ,dog ...everything ..thier life was over ....and she did 30 days for not reporting the crime they used another word for it but that about sums it up ....so if he realy loves you and cares for oyu then he will either stop or let you go on your way with out a guilt trip **************....

 

[CALIF-PRO36]

i have seen this before with a friend, you bieng thier and knowing,he has a problem could very well reflect you ..ok if by chance he goes and gets drugs from his dealer ..now say his dealer is bieng watched ...ok so now you get raided in that little triangle of crime. now it dont matter that your clean you know what he does..ok you said you are in the medical field now if your a nurse or somthing along those lines .this means you had to take some kind of state boards test...and could loose your job and houser, car, everything this is only trouble and as long as you are with him and know what he does you can go down just like him**************.



now here is what happen to my friend and his wife ..

he was a dope smoker just weed, and she new it and she also was a nurse. he got them raided at about 5:00 am one morning ..now she never touched the stuff or any other drug, but she new about it and did nothing to help her situation..this is what happen to them**************....

they took the house,car,her licsense,yup she will never work in the medical field again,kids child endangerment ,dog ...everything ..thier life was over ....and she did 30 days for not reporting the crime they used another word for it but that about sums it up ....so if he realy loves you and cares for oyu then he will either stop or let you go on your way with out a guilt trip **************....

My response:

Oh, dude! I want some of what you're takin' or smokin'!

Carl - - I'm always lucky. I am always liable, and I am always "lucky".

IAAL

 

[ceara19]

i have seen this before with a friend, you bieng thier and knowing,he has a problem could very well reflect you ..ok if by chance he goes and gets drugs from his dealer ..now say his dealer is bieng watched ...ok so now you get raided in that little triangle of crime. now it dont matter that your clean you know what he does..ok you said you are in the medical field now if your a nurse or somthing along those lines .this means you had to take some kind of state boards test...and could loose your job and houser, car, everything this is only trouble and as long as you are with him and know what he does you can go down just like him**************.



now here is what happen to my friend and his wife ..

he was a dope smoker just weed, and she new it and she also was a nurse. he got them raided at about 5:00 am one morning ..now she never touched the stuff or any other drug, but she new about it and did nothing to help her situation..this is what happen to them**************....

they took the house,car,her licsense,yup she will never work in the medical field again,kids child endangerment ,dog ...everything ..thier life was over ....and she did 30 days for not reporting the crime they used another word for it but that about sums it up ....so if he realy loves you and cares for oyu then he will either stop or let you go on your way with out a guilt trip **************....

Those B A S T A R D S!! They took the DOG?!?