She was drunk, drove, now she's dead

[rainman]

Washington - I also posted this under accidents
A few months ago I went to my Fathers to drop off some equipment, he lives 6 hours from me. I got there around midnight and he drove up with his girl friend at about 12:30am. They had been drinking and then went inside to pour some more. I had a couple of beers while they drank 3 more of the hard stuff. After some good food and conversation the "party" wound down and I was ready for bed. Dad's girl friend asked him if she could stay the night. To my suprise, he refused to let her. Anyone but my Dad and I would have spoken up but my Dad, being an alcoholic, is very tempermental. I always have to walk on egg-shells around him or he turns into a jerk. So she ended up leaving around 2:00am. The next morning my Dad and I unloaded my equipment and I hit the road around 8:30 or 9am. A couple of hours later I got a message from my Dad on my out of area cell phone. I returned the call only to find out that his girl friend had hit a guard rail, slid accross the road and ended up in a ditch. She opened her door and took off her seat-belt at which point, the movement from her broken neck killed her. Nobody except myself really knows what happened - the guilt is overwhelming. She has adult children that had lost their Father less than a year ago ... I could just imagine the Hell they're going through. I guess my question is this: Is my Dad responsible for her death?? Am I?? ... I feel responsible. What are the legal ramifications? I no longer talk to my Dad because of his irresponsible actions and his constant drinking - this was the straw that broke the camels back. I don't know what to do. Should I notify her family? Contact the State Patrol?? Just keep my mouth shut?? I don't want to hurt anybody here, I just want to do the right thing. I have never met her family but I feel their pain. I am a man of morals so I'm really struggling with this one.
e name of your state? Washington

[Litigation!]

Originally Posted by rainman

Washington - I also posted this under accidents
A few months ago I went to my Fathers to drop off some equipment, he lives 6 hours from me. I got there around midnight and he drove up with his girl friend at about 12:30am. They had been drinking and then went inside to pour some more. I had a couple of beers while they drank 3 more of the hard stuff. After some good food and conversation the "party" wound down and I was ready for bed. Dad's girl friend asked him if she could stay the night. To my suprise, he refused to let her. Anyone but my Dad and I would have spoken up but my Dad, being an alcoholic, is very tempermental. I always have to walk on egg-shells around him or he turns into a jerk. So she ended up leaving around 2:00am. The next morning my Dad and I unloaded my equipment and I hit the road around 8:30 or 9am. A couple of hours later I got a message from my Dad on my out of area cell phone. I returned the call only to find out that his girl friend had hit a guard rail, slid accross the road and ended up in a ditch. She opened her door and took off her seat-belt at which point, the movement from her broken neck killed her. Nobody except myself really knows what happened - the guilt is overwhelming. She has adult children that had lost their Father less than a year ago ... I could just imagine the Hell they're going through. I guess my question is this: Is my Dad responsible for her death?? Am I?? ... I feel responsible. What are the legal ramifications? I no longer talk to my Dad because of his irresponsible actions and his constant drinking - this was the straw that broke the camels back. I don't know what to do. Should I notify her family? Contact the State Patrol?? Just keep my mouth shut?? I don't want to hurt anybody here, I just want to do the right thing. I have never met her family but I feel their pain. I am a man of morals so I'm really struggling with this one.
e name of your state? Washington

My response:

Now, that was a terrific story!

One less drunk on our roads, who is obviously better off dead. She didn't care about herself, so why should we give a damn about her family's feelings?

You really should try to get your father to follow in her footsteps. When you think about, what is there to love?

IAAL

[ecmst12]

Wow. You know, you are really a gigantic jerk "Litigation". Didn't your mother ever tell you to keep your mouth shut if you have nothing nice (or helpful, on this board) to say?

[rmet4nzkx]

WA like many states has what are called DRAM SHOP laws that prohibit a holder of a liquor liscense from selling/serving to intoxicated persons. Sometimes these laws are applied to private parties/Hosts as well in which case you & your father might hold some liability for her death at least in a Civil Wrongful Death lawsuit.

[BigMistakeFl]

Autopsy will show a tox level and the alcohol will be revealed to her family. If they want to pursue where she drank so much, they will. But like you with your father, they probably already have a pretty good idea that she had an alcohol problem. It's normal that you should feel ashamed of your Dad's behavior, and that you didn't try to stop her from driving as well. But it wasn't your choice that night. If you want to ease your conscience, make sure you don't drink and drive, and tell your story to everyone you can.

[Zigner]

Originally Posted by rmet4nzkx

which case you & your father might hold some liability for her death at least in a Civil Wrongful Death lawsuit.

The father, yes. The OP, no.

[garrula lingua]

She could/should have slept in her car.

She was responsible for her own actions.

She may have been pouring her own alcohol; even if she wasn't, we are all responsible for our own decision to drink and drive.

Did she have a cell phone ?
Could she have called a taxi or friend to come pick her up ?
Why didn't she just lock her car doors and go to sleep for a few hours ?

BigMistake was right - you are having a huge effect by telling your story.
I don't believe you have any responsibility for her death - she had options.

Morally, we all grieve for such poor choices (on the part of the driver) and a sad loss.