bullying to the extreme

[meatgoat]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

My child has been being bullied for most of this school yr. We have tried to explain to my child how to deflect a bully and ignore them and they will stop.

Recently it has become much worse so we went to the principal. The bullies parent is the pta president. When reporting this we were told how wonderful this child was and there is no way they could have done this.

A few things about the situation was mentioned on facebook, the child was called a bully but no name was to identify them used but initials were used. The mother messaged us to stop and denied her child was a bully stating that we more than identified her child. We have made no mention since.

The next school day the parent(pta pres) seeked out and cornered my child,placed thier hands on my child and threatened her by stating "I am an attourney that works for...... and if your parents think they are going to win this they are crazy. A lot of details were used and a lot of intimidation which are all in the report to the principal.

We reported this to the principal who is personal friends with the pta pres and for the most part did not believe my childs statement. Called us a few hours later and said the pta pres denied saying or doing anything even know the details about what firm she worked for and that she was a paralegal at that firm in my childs statement are accurate. I felt as if we were being blown off and it was being covered up. We have emails from another parent about her report of bullying from the same child and was also told her child was lying and basically nothing was done.

We started taking our child to a councelor and have been told that our child is suffering from extreme emotional and physical abuse and has suggested immidiate and aggressive therepy. She has mentioned suicide and wishing she were dead.

What recourse do I have against the pta pres,school,school district? Should they pay for the counceling. since this unseen injury happened on campus?

 

[Humusluvr]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Florida

My child has been being bullied for most of this school yr. We have tried to explain to my child how to deflect a bully and ignore them and they will stop.

Recently it has become much worse so we went to the principal. The bullies parent is the pta president. When reporting this we were told how wonderful this child was and there is no way they could have done this.

A few things about the situation was mentioned on facebook, the child was called a bully but no name was to identify them used but initials were used. The mother messaged us to stop and denied her child was a bully stating that we more than identified her child. We have made no mention since.

The next school day the parent(pta pres) seeked out and cornered my child,placed thier hands on my child and threatened her by stating "I am an attourney that works for...... and if your parents think they are going to win this they are crazy. A lot of details were used and a lot of intimidation which are all in the report to the principal.

We reported this to the principal who is personal friends with the pta pres and for the most part did not believe my childs statement. Called us a few hours later and said the pta pres denied saying or doing anything even know the details about what firm she worked for and that she was a paralegal at that firm in my childs statement are accurate. I felt as if we were being blown off and it was being covered up. We have emails from another parent about her report of bullying from the same child and was also told her child was lying and basically nothing was done.

We started taking our child to a councelor and have been told that our child is suffering from extreme emotional and physical abuse and has suggested immidiate and aggressive therepy. She has mentioned suicide and wishing she were dead.

What recourse do I have against the pta pres,school,school district? Should they pay for the counceling. since this unseen injury happened on campus?

That is ridiculous what they are doing to your child.

Find your school's handbook. Look for the section about bullying.

Write a detailed account of what happened to your child, what the adults have done, what the principal has done, include times, dates, and locations.

Print out the following anti-bullying laws from Florida.
Florida Anti Bullying law

Highlight every part of the laws that apply to your situation.

Take a letter from the counselor, summarizing her findings.

Make an appointment to see the superintendent on an emergency basis. If (s)he is not available, ask to have an appointment with the assistant superintendent.

Go into the meeting, provide copies of the laws and the detailed account of the situation for the supe.

Tell them what your "demands" are.

1. The PTA president should resign, and should not be allowed into your child's school, due to her assault on your child.
2. Your child should be removed from all classes with the bully, and all teachers of both students should be told, in writing, of the bullying, so they can be aware and alert.
3. The school will provide counseling at school, and will pay for the private therapy.
4. The principal will be reprimanded, in writing, for not making a report of the incident. The principal is required, even if the investigation is inconclusive, to make a report. But not doing so, they are covering this up.
5. If you do not receive a satisfactory investigation of the report, let the supe know you will contact the police and file charges of assault against the PTA president and her child. You will also contact the Florida Department of Education and make a report. You will also ask for the principal's license to be suspended for gross negligence of his/her duties. You will also contact an education attorney, and file for damages.

If I were you, I would also take a tape recorder to the meeting, and ask to record the session. If they don't agree, you can't record it, because FL is a two-party consent state. But it shows you are serious, and if they decline your request, they look like they are hiding something. Don't go alone - take a spouse or friend to take notes and corroborate what is said if it ends up in court.

It's great to see you're getting your child help. Good luck, and let us know what happens.

 

[meatgoat]

Thank you humusluvr. I was on the right track in my thinking but you suggested a couple good points. Currently the area supe has been contacted and a meeting is going to be scheduled after holiday break which starts today I guess. This gives me a couple weeks to gather the info you suggested. I am unsure about how hard to push though because I can not afford attorneys fees. I dont want to get in over my head because most of this is hard to prove. Its a she said she said at this point so proof is limited. As I said the details of the incident are aplenty but the neglagence and such are really not provable especially since the principal has 2 weeks to "create documents to appease me". Does the pta pres have anything she can come after me for since she threatened legal action fresh out of the gate? As i said no name just initials were used and the worst said was the kid was a bully and the school called my kid a liar.

 

[Victorxyz3]

Another option is a protective order. Seek a lawyer for this option.

 

[meatgoat]

That would involve hiring a lawyer. Like I said i am not sure I want to go there yet unless it is needed. Any other suggestions from a lawyer on this forum would be great but all input is welcome.

 

[Humusluvr]

Thank you humusluvr. I was on the right track in my thinking but you suggested a couple good points. Currently the area supe has been contacted and a meeting is going to be scheduled after holiday break which starts today I guess. This gives me a couple weeks to gather the info you suggested. I am unsure about how hard to push though because I can not afford attorneys fees. I dont want to get in over my head because most of this is hard to prove. Its a she said she said at this point so proof is limited. As I said the details of the incident are aplenty but the neglagence and such are really not provable especially since the principal has 2 weeks to "create documents to appease me". Does the pta pres have anything she can come after me for since she threatened legal action fresh out of the gate? As i said no name just initials were used and the worst said was the kid was a bully and the school called my kid a liar.

If you walk in with a report from the counselor that says your child is terrified and threatening suicide, the supe has to take you seriously. That is all the proof you need. And ultimately, you HAVE to protect your child. Forget about the adult's feelings in this situation, this is your CHILD.

As far as the FB posts, there "might" be an issue, if she went along the slander route. But who really cares? She will forget about it when asked to resign for assaulting your kid. For now, don't post ANYTHING on social media except goodwill and holiday cheer.

 

[meatgoat]

If you walk in with a report from the counselor that says your child is terrified and threatening suicide, the supe has to take you seriously. That is all the proof you need. And ultimately, you HAVE to protect your child. Forget about the adult's feelings in this situation, this is your CHILD.

As far as the FB posts, there "might" be an issue, if she went along the slander route. But who really cares? She will forget about it when asked to resign for assaulting your kid. For now, don't post ANYTHING on social media except goodwill and holiday cheer.

There has been nothing said since that day on any social media sights and our last response to her stated there would not be.

 

[Zigner]

What happened with the investigation brought on by the report of extreme emotional and physical abuse that the therapist (as a mandated reported) submitted?

 

[meatgoat]

What happened with the investigation brought on by the report of extreme emotional and physical abuse that the therapist (as a mandated reported) submitted?

Nothing yet. I got an email response from the principal with her supervisor cc. It will take place after the holiday break which started today. They go back the 10th of January. This is why im trying to gather info to present at the meeting.

 

[Zigner]

I'm sorry for not being direct...

Did the therapist (a mandated reporter) report this abuse to the authorities (ie: Police and/or DCF)?

 

[meatgoat]

I'm sorry for not being direct...

Did the therapist (a mandated reporter) report this abuse to the authorities (ie: Police and/or DCF)?

No just told me to tell the principals boss and if she is needed she will. Is it a police issue? that is part of my origanal question.

 

[Proserpina]

No just told me to tell the principals boss and if she is needed she will. Is it a police issue? that is part of my origanal question.

A mandated reporter did NOT report the abuse?

Seriously?

I'm seeing perhaps a problem here. As in, the therapist does not consider this to be abuse.

OP, do you absolutely KNOW that you have all of the right details? I'm not calling you into question at all - please understand that.

 

[meatgoat]

A mandated reporter did NOT report the abuse?

Seriously?

I'm seeing perhaps a problem here. As in, the therapist does not consider this to be abuse.

OP, do you absolutely KNOW that you have all of the right details? I'm not calling you into question at all - please understand that.

Not Yet just had the first session yesterday. Next one is monday. Yes all of my details are correct and I even left some of the small details out. Is what is described abuse that should be reported other than by me or my spouse? I thought counceling was confidential unless there is an immediate threat. Away from the school my child seems ok unless being asked to go over details about this issue. Story stays the same but she becomes visibly shaken anywhere around the subject. Out of school for 2 weeks so some of the stress is off. And let me be clear. She mentioned the killing herself and wishing she were dead to us her parents not he counceler. So that being said,can the counceler report anything.

 

[Victorxyz3]

That would involve hiring a lawyer. Like I said i am not sure I want to go there yet unless it is needed. Any other suggestions from a lawyer on this forum would be great but all input is welcome.

You can try it yourself...most court clerks have the forms...some will help or will have filled in examples to go by.

You want the bully to stay away? This is one possibility. I would not count on school officials, they are much too busy looking on getting more benefits.

 

[csi7]

I agree with the meeting, I would write out everything, timeline everything, separate the feelings from facts to help you speed your thought process along in the meeting after winter break is over.
Practice in front of the mirror until you can be comfortable with what you are sharing. This helps you to stay professional even with a "snarky" management person, such as PTA president.
Facebook - date, time, who it was presented to, and how this person responded, have it written down to help, if needed, to resolve this question.
I would also have a list of the contacts for the county administration of the education department, to have on hand, in case a name is mentioned in the meeting.
Your efforts to help your child will be successful. Remember that you are doing all this to help your child, and stay professional.
Best wishes!