problems with school and teachers.

[Kari Lynn]

I have a 15 yr old son in 9th grade. He is learning delayed, with a state IEP and in special education classes. He is a behavior child, as he constantly cuts up in class, trying to get a laugh. Very forward and out going, and a leader type personality, which gets him into trouble with teachers as they feel he is challenging their authority. (and usually is.)
They have been constantly sending him home for OSS (out of school suspension) for little petty stuff. I feel his discipline is excessive for what he has done. Which is usually laughing in class, or walking out of class to go talk to his councilor which he is suppose to be able to do. Nearly every other week, he is suspended from school, which as a result is causing failing grades, and his IEP is not being met.
I have talked to the teachers and principle. Telling them what works to get along with my son, and how to get him to cooperate. Instead of using what works, they choose to use what I told them is his "triggers" that set him off.
He is currently off for 10 days, because he held up a piece of scrap board lumber, so that another student could try to break it. (karate style)
I'm being told that we need to arrange a meeting with the school board to determine disciplinary action against my son. ? I thought that was what the 10 days were?
In talking to the principle of the school, and some of our conversation, I feel that they are going to expel my son when he turns 16. I don't feel they are even interested in trying to teach my son or get along with him. I'm at a loss of what to do, or what I can do.
Are there any laws that can help me keep him in school? Especially since he is learning delayed, and has an IEP?

 

[FlyingRon]

Your principal is most likely violating the IDEA. If your specific school administration doesn't seem to want to deal with this, see if the school district has a special education coordinator that can help work out a legal and effective solution. If that doesn't help, there are attorneys that specialize in these sort of matters. Often the threat of a IDEA or 504 lawsuit is enough to encourage some cooperation.

 

[I'mTheFather]

This organization may be able to help, or at least steer you in the right direction:

http://www.moadvocacy.org/SpecialEducation.htm

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Before getting all to excited that your child should be getting away with everything, just because they have an IEP, consider this well thought out article. The largest problem, which the school appears to be trying to engage in an intervention by requesting a meeting with you is parental involvement. They are not a daycare where you send your unruly child for a days break.
http://www.wrightslaw.com/info/discipline.stud.dis.dwyer.pdf

 

[Silverplum]

I have a 15 yr old son in 9th grade. He is learning delayed, with a state IEP and in special education classes. He is a behavior child, as he constantly cuts up in class, trying to get a laugh. Very forward and out going, and a leader type personality, which gets him into trouble with teachers as they feel he is challenging their authority. (and usually is.)
They have been constantly sending him home for OSS (out of school suspension) for little petty stuff. I feel his discipline is excessive for what he has done. Which is usually laughing in class, or walking out of class to go talk to his councilor which he is suppose to be able to do. Nearly every other week, he is suspended from school, which as a result is causing failing grades, and his IEP is not being met.
I have talked to the teachers and principle. Telling them what works to get along with my son, and how to get him to cooperate. Instead of using what works, they choose to use what I told them is his "triggers" that set him off.
He is currently off for 10 days, because he held up a piece of scrap board lumber, so that another student could try to break it. (karate style)
I'm being told that we need to arrange a meeting with the school board to determine disciplinary action against my son. ? I thought that was what the 10 days were?
In talking to the principle of the school, and some of our conversation, I feel that they are going to expel my son when he turns 16. I don't feel they are even interested in trying to teach my son or get along with him. I'm at a loss of what to do, or what I can do.
Are there any laws that can help me keep him in school? Especially since he is learning delayed, and has an IEP?

I note that, from your title forward, all problems are blamed on the teachers and administration.

Successful secondary and primary education is triangular: School-Student-Parent/s. Where are you in this, except complaining? Where is your son's commitment to his education?

 

[anearthw]

Kari Lyn,

As a parent of a delayed IEP child AND a teacher, I can't help but notice that you make cute rationalizations for a teen whose high behaviors are clearly disrupting not just his education, but others as well. He is not 5, he is 15, this is not a "leadership" quality, but a sign of impulsive and deliberate behavior. It's not cute anymore, and you need to wake up here and realize he's almost a grown man.

Feel free to find a lawyer. Quit making excuses for his abhorrent behavior, you should be livid by his actions. You're looking at behavior that results in a lawyer past 18 too.

 

[anearthw]

It's also worth mentioning that they are required to provide LRE - least restrictive environment - to an appropriate means. If your son's behaviors are so disruptive to the classroom environment, then there are going to be changes. Your child does NOT have a right by law to cause havoc just because he has an IEP. What's the next step LRE? I don't know. The principal will.

Behavior tips from parents are a bit of an issue. Many work. Many don't. Positive behavior supports are not about mimicking good behavior from home. You don't have 10-20+ other teens in your house, who Jr is trying to impress. You don't expect hard work in someone else's environment. You don't demand authoritative respect. I'll tell you one thing - you may be looking at a removal from his "audience" as a blessing in disguise. You've got a real problem here, because a desperate need to challenge authority to look cool in front of peers is a very serious indicator of future legal wranglings. Might I suggest, as someone who works with these kiddos (yes, I'm in SPED high behaviors)... check your ego at the door and listen.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

LRE includes a parent that works with the school. Not a free license for the child to get away with everything. Read the link I left for you and learn that you are the problem.

 

[stealth2]

Personally, I never understood the point of OSS - reward the kid for misbehaving. Unless, of course, the parent(s) makes it an unpleasant experience. Do you? Is access to electronics removed? A list of chores provided? Expectations of schoolwork being kept up with handed down? Loss of privileges? Are you/Dad home or other supervision arranged? Or is he left to his own devices, allowed access to computer, phone, gaming devices?

As a parent, it is incumbent upon you to be an active participant in the process of your son's education. Yes, providing suggestions on what works for you is good, but you must understand (as anearthw pointed out) those actions are not always realistic in a classroom setting. What other suggestions do you have for the school? ISS with 1-on-1 supervision? Loss of school privileges (clubs, teams,, etc.)? No riding the bus - dropped off/picked up daily by a parent or designated adult? Earning those back with agreed upon and specified benchmarks? Has your son been included in the meetings? Does he understand the issues? What suggestions does he have that may help him? What input is there from his doctor(s)?

Frankly, I would be livid if my child's education was being regularly disrupted by one child. And as stated - he is nearly a man. If he behaves this way at a job? He (and) you should expect to see him fired. Then what? And yes, if he gets into legal trouble? He - and you - may find he gets little sway from his issues.