Disable son turned 18. Now I need a durable power of attorney

[vikkidoll]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia

How do I get a durable power of attorney for my son that is now 19 but is mentally disable and totally incompetent to make decisions for himself?

 

[Zigner]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia

How do I get a durable power of attorney for my son that is now 19 but is mentally disable and totally incompetent to make decisions for himself?

You're not looking for a Durable Power of Attorney. You're looking for guardianship/conservatorship:

http://www.vda.virginia.gov/pdfdocs/Guardbook.pdf

 

[justalayman]

you have your son give you POA.

If he is not capable of doing that due to his condition, nobody can be POA if they are not already. You are looking at a conservatorship or guardianship which means you will have to go to court, prove him incompetent and ask the court you be appoint conservator or guardian.

 

[vikkidoll]

I was told by many people that a guardianship wouldn't be necessary seeing Im his mother and have cared for him his entire life. I was also told that a guardianship is very expensive to get. My son has been disable since he was 6 months old. He has epilepsy and is non verbal. The only reason I am trying to get a durable power of attorney is for the hospital (because everytime he needs to be admitted for something they ask if I have one). And also he has graduated from school with a specialized diploma but is now attending as a post grad until he is 22 years old and the school says that I cant sign the paperwork on his IEP. They have put a pen in his hand and signed paperwork using their hand to write his name.

 

[Zigner]

I was told by many people that a guardianship wouldn't be necessary seeing Im his mother and have cared for him his entire life. I was also told that a guardianship is very expensive to get. My son has been disable since he was 6 months old. He has epilepsy and is non verbal. The only reason I am trying to get a durable power of attorney is for the hospital (because everytime he needs to be admitted for something they ask if I have one). And also he has graduated from school with a specialized diploma but is now attending as a post grad until he is 22 years old and the school says that I cant sign the paperwork on his IEP. They have put a pen in his hand and signed paperwork using their hand to write his name.

If your son lacks the capacity to make decisions and care for himself on his own because of his disability, then he lacks the capacity to execute a durable power of attorney.

ETA: Please read the link I posted, it describes POA's, guardianships and conservatorships. I think you have a basic misunderstanding of the meaning of each.

 

[vikkidoll]

I understand but I am just trying to do this the most easiest way. I was wondering if maybe if I got his neurologist to write a statement confirming his disability and I had a durable power of attorney written up could I just show up with my son at a notary and the notary sign the POA

 

[Zigner]

I understand but I am just trying to do this the most easiest way. I was wondering if maybe if I got his neurologist to write a statement confirming his disability and I had a durable power of attorney written up could I just show up with my son at a notary and the notary sign the POA

The easiest way is the way that is correct per the law. Anything else, while possibly requiring less work and/or money, can cause you problems down the road.

 

[justalayman]

I understand but I am just trying to do this the most easiest way. I was wondering if maybe if I got his neurologist to write a statement confirming his disability and I had a durable power of attorney written up could I just show up with my son at a notary and the notary sign the POA

a notary is nothing more than a witness to a signature who attests that the person that signed is the person claimed to be.

Who are you suggesting sign your son's name should you show up at a notary's desk?
\

the notary would be witnessing your son's signature and since he is not mentally capable of acting on his own behalf, he cannot sign anything that is legally dependable.

there is no easy or cheap answer here. There is only the right or wrong answer.

You might as well do what you need to do now. If there comes a time where you must have a guardianship or conservatorship and you do not have one (and there will be such times), not only will you have to obtain one then, it is going to take time that you may not have available.

 

[vikkidoll]

Guess Im helpless then at this point. Im a single mother with very little income. Guardianship costs thousands of dollars. I love my son very much and take care of him by myself. His father has never been around and I guess I just never thought anyone would question me. Social security doesnt even accept a POA they just had me sign for him with his hand. His doctors are the same since the beginning of his illness so they dont question me. I thank you for your advice but unfortunately Im at a loss again.

 

[Zigner]

Guess Im helpless then at this point. Im a single mother with very little income. Guardianship costs thousands of dollars. I love my son very much and take care of him by myself. His father has never been around and I guess I just never thought anyone would question me. Social security doesnt even accept a POA they just had me sign for him with his hand. His doctors are the same since the beginning of his illness so they dont question me. I thank you for your advice but unfortunately Im at a loss again.

I am a bit surprised that so many agencies are advising you to break the law by forging your son's signature.

At the end of the PDF I gave you the link for there is contact information for various entities. I would suggest you start making phone calls.

 

[ecmst12]

I BET there are legal aid services in your area for disabled people and their families. You just have to do some digging for it.

 

[LdiJ]

Guess Im helpless then at this point. Im a single mother with very little income. Guardianship costs thousands of dollars. I love my son very much and take care of him by myself. His father has never been around and I guess I just never thought anyone would question me. Social security doesnt even accept a POA they just had me sign for him with his hand. His doctors are the same since the beginning of his illness so they dont question me. I thank you for your advice but unfortunately Im at a loss again.

No, guardianship does not have to cost thousands of dollars. In fact, I can just about guarantee that you could do it without an attorney.

Call Virginia legal aid at: 1-866-534-5243

Explain to them that you have a profoundly disabled son who has turned 18 and that you need to obtain guardianship of him and cannot afford an attorney. Ask their advice as to how to obtain the necessary forms to file for guardianship of your son. Make it clear to them that if they cannot provide you active help, that all you need is to be pointed in the right direction. Its possible that they will agree to represent you, but if they cannot, I would be highly surprised if they were not highly accommodating in steering you in the right direction. Its possible even that they would tell you to contact social services and ask for their help. If there are any support organizations for your son's specific disability they also may have resources available to help or steer you in the right direction.

Then once you have filed the necessary paperwork, take your son with you to court for the hearing. It will be clear to the judge that your son is profoundly disabled and the judge will automatically award you guardianship.

It may take you some footwork to do it, but it can be done...and it can be done without spending thousands on an attorney.