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Thread: Disinherited

  1. #1
    catipper is offline Junior Member
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    Disinherited

    What is the name of your state? Connecituct

    Can an adult child be disinherited from a will in the state of CT:

    If there are three adult children, one who is left everything, two are left nothing, not even a dollar and one of the ones who are left nothing is on disability or state welfare and was at one point the care taker of the person who made out the will?

    Should the two who are left out contest the will?
  2. #2
    rmet4nzkx is offline Senior Member
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    You should put this question on your other thread, are you saying now that she has found the missing will?
  3. #3
    catipper is offline Junior Member
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    What other thread? Not sure how to actually use this.

    The will has been tampered with (by mother) by crossing out names and putting in disabled sister but this can be said that mother was not in right mind. The other problem is we do not believe the will has yet been turned in to probate to keep on record.

    Just interested in laws of CT at this point. Thanks
  4. #4
    Dandy Don is offline Senior Member
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    Where is the will?

    Is it your mother's will or did mother tamper with someone else's will?

    Is your father still alive or not?

    Bottom line is that you will need to take a copy of whatever will is filed with probate court to a probate attorney to have them evaluate your legal grounds for contesting, if any. There are so many problems with this will that you might possibly have grounds, but can you afford to pay a retainer a few thousand dollars to defend this for you?

    DANDY DON IN OKLAHOMA (tiekh@yahoo.com)
  5. #5
    BlondiePB is offline Senior Member
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    catipper,
    rmet was referring to your conservator thread that you started. It is best to keep things together rather than start a new thread. I understand that you are trying to protect you and the rest of your family when your mother does pass. Until that time comes, there is no contest to a Will. Just be sure to keep all your records and medical records that you can acquire of you mother and sister(s). Guardians/conservators do have to provide a copy of a ward's will to the guardian's attorney. The will, typically, is not filed in the ward's guardian/conservator court file. Upon death of a ward, a ward's will is filed with the Probate File (Estate of .....). You can find Probate statutes for your state on line.
  6. #6
    catipper is offline Junior Member
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    The mother did the written changes on the will and even signed and dated them, we heard that there is another will that did name the disabled sister BUT it has disappeared with no records kept at the attorney-which is strange.

    I have copy of the will that mother changed in her writting. The only reason I am even wonderding about this is that the sister in control is saying she will have a living will made up that will state mohter is not to be helped if she has a heart attack or even chokes on food. I do not think she can get away with that and have told her that even tho the will states older sister is to get everything, it is still questionable, as it does have written on it that disabled sister should get it, but of course that is the part mother wrote herself and is not really legal. I wanted to deter older sister from doing anything like that by saying that the will could even be contested so she better rethink what she plans to do on a living will.

    Short of making charges that can not be backed up to the judge I would rather just put a stop to all this crazy actions. The one good thing is that disabled sister is going to get some money to help her out from the court but that has enraged older sister now and this will happen tomorrow as we are to go to court to get the order, I am sure after that things will get much worse for everyone as the anger builds in older sister.

    Thank You
  7. #7
    BlondiePB is offline Senior Member
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    catipper,
    For everyone's sake of mind, having control sister removed as conservator would be in everyone's best interest. A living will MUST be signed by your mother. Since your mother is incompetent, she cannot sign a living will. A guardian/conservator cannot make a living will on behalf of the ward. In order for a guardian/conservator to make health care decisions, the guardian/conservator must be the Health Care Surrogate. In order to do this, the guardian/conservator must have the guardian/conservator court order amended naming the guardian/conservator as the Health Care Surrogate. In fact, you could be your mother's Health Care Surrogate. For decisions such as removal of life support of a ward, the guardian/conservator must petition the court to so. I have had to make critical, instant life decisions on behalf of my wards as their Health Care Surrogate, including whether to either immediately sign a Do Not Resusitate (DNR) or call 911. Being guardian/conservator of a person does not automatically entitle one to make medical decisions for a ward. The guardian/conservator must be designated by the Court to be the Health Care Surrogate. The Health Care Surrogate is the person who signs a DNR for a nursing home or Assisted Living Facility.

    As for your mother's will, again, I will defer you to your state statutes. You need to read these, especially Chapter 802a, Sect. 45a.257, including the info in those "awful on the eyes" colors. Follow this link:

    [url]www.cga.state.ct.us/2003/pub/Chap802a.htm[/url]
  8. #8
    samuel james Guest

    next of kin?

    I will try and keep this as simple as possible.I am ex-pat Brit now living in Estonia.I am married to an Estonian,we have a daughter of 15 months and my wife is expecting our second child in January.We are now looking at setting up a small business in Estonia and we want to split the business 50/50,but my wife has a concern about my child from a previous relationship.I have a daughter of 10 years who lives with my common law wife in the UK,we decided to go our seperate ways and so as not to make it messy,i signed the house over to her and just got on with my new life.Now the question concerning my wife is if i died suddenly,what would happen to my 50% of the business?Would it autamatically go to my daughter in the UK as my next of kin,or would it go to my wife and children in Estonia?Obviously i will have a seperate fund for my daughter in the UK,but i want to protect my wife and childrens interest in Estonia from any outside interference,plus i respect my wifes wishes that as far as she is concerned our family comes first and anything outside of our marriage is a seperate issue.What would i have to do if the scenario was that i had to give up my share of the business to my daughter in the UK?I know that the business could be all in my wifes name,but now i am looking after my own interests,what if in the future the wife and i got divorced and i ended up with nothing because everything was in my wifes name?My wife understands the issue here and i,m sure that most marriages start with the best intentions and we, as well as everyone else can never know whats around the corner?All advice would be welcome.Thanks

    Kind regards
    Samuel
  9. #9
    BlondiePB is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by samuel james
    I will try and keep this as simple as possible.I am ex-pat Brit now living in Estonia.I am married to an Estonian,we have a daughter of 15 months and my wife is expecting our second child in January.We are now looking at setting up a small business in Estonia and we want to split the business 50/50,but my wife has a concern about my child from a previous relationship.I have a daughter of 10 years who lives with my common law wife in the UK,we decided to go our seperate ways and so as not to make it messy,i signed the house over to her and just got on with my new life.Now the question concerning my wife is if i died suddenly,what would happen to my 50% of the business?Would it autamatically go to my daughter in the UK as my next of kin,or would it go to my wife and children in Estonia?Obviously i will have a seperate fund for my daughter in the UK,but i want to protect my wife and childrens interest in Estonia from any outside interference,plus i respect my wifes wishes that as far as she is concerned our family comes first and anything outside of our marriage is a seperate issue.What would i have to do if the scenario was that i had to give up my share of the business to my daughter in the UK?I know that the business could be all in my wifes name,but now i am looking after my own interests,what if in the future the wife and i got divorced and i ended up with nothing because everything was in my wifes name?My wife understands the issue here and i,m sure that most marriages start with the best intentions and we, as well as everyone else can never know whats around the corner?All advice would be welcome.Thanks

    Kind regards
    Samuel
    1. You have "hijacked" this thread.

    2. Sorry, this site is for U.S. law only as noted at the top of the page.
  10. #10
    catipper is offline Junior Member
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    To BlondiePB

    Thank you very much for the site to go to and I will research it this week end.

    I am amazed at the knowledge you have on this and I can see that you must have gone thru a lot yourself.

    I do have some good news tho, we went to the home yesterday and actually talked with the social worker for mother. Much to our surprise she did talk with us openly. Since the older sister has all the legal power we thought the social worker might have to put us off due to legal issues but she was very nice. We let her know we are not in approval of mother not being helped if she were having a heart attack and we found out that the sister can not request that of them, the doctor will make choices and a heart attack or choking is absolutely something that she would be saved from if possible. That made it much better for us to know that, and we are going to let sister know of this so she backs off. She does have conservatorship over mothers health too already. So we feel that this will set her back some on her plans.

    Mother was doing so well and ate a wonderful lunch with us there, she enjoyed our visit very much and we hope she stays in that frame of mind each week. We took her for a walk and she did so well. Told her she must keep up her strength and eat her meals. We were encouraged by what we saw and her mind is confused but still in early stages which can last for years before it gets worse. We feel with our constant support she might stand a chance of getting a few years yet. We were told by older sister not to visit at first as it would be too hard on mother and only she went, BUT we now see what is going on completely and we are keeping a very close eye on things. We are going to visit weekly no matter what she has to say. We are much more informed now and do not feel so helpless anymore.

    Thank you for your help on this again.
  11. #11
    BlondiePB is offline Senior Member
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    catipper,

    You're very welcome. I do have some good news and some bads news for you regarding what the social worker told you. The good news is that your mother will be helped in the event of her choking. The bad news is that the other info the social worker told you is incorrect.

    If your control sister has signed a DNR and your mother has a heart attack, your mother will not be resucitated. Nursing homes and ALFs do ask the Health Care Surrogate (HCS) if he/she wants to sign a DNR. The choice is up to the HCS not the ward's physician. If there is some other medical problem, the nurses at the nursing home calls the physician who will give orders, including whether or not to send your mother to the emergency room. Or, for example, should your mother fall an injure herself, the nursing home will call 911 if your mother needs to go to the emergency room and then call the HCS informing the HCS that the ward was sent to the ER. The hospital will call your mother's primary care physician. Ask the nursing home's Director of Nurses these types of questions, not the Social Worker.

    I'm glad to hear about your visit with your mother and how well it went. Those visits are important. Also, FYI, your mother will be called upon by a Court Visitor. The CV shows up unannounced to check on the ward and how the ward is being taken care of by the guardian/conservator. The CV also talks with the nursing home's staff about the guardian/conservator. You are correct about me going through a lot. At times, the chaos has been hour to hour, minute to minute, and second to second. Have a good weekend.
    BlondiePB
  12. #12
    catipper is offline Junior Member
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    That is an excellent idea, did not realize we could even do that - Director of Nurses - we will be going next week and we will ask if it is possible to talk with the person. We have few legal rights as you know at this point and as I said short of making charges with no proof could be very bad. We do know that older sister wants the money and will do whatever it takes to get is, we will see after today and what the Judge allows disabled sister out of the estate. I feel this will certainly make a difference in what action older sister takes. She will not contest it as she is very angry at the judge for doing this BUT I do not believe she would have the nerve to tell the judge off so I feel she will not show up today, which is best for everyone. This meeting is not about IF the judge will give her anything, it is about who will oversee the money and that will be me, NO ONE is going to take that money from disabled sister.

    I am assuming that you must have been the guardian to someone and that it must have been a rocky road. Did you have problems with anyone trying to do things wrong? This could all be a very smooth and supportive thing but it is just such a wonder how anyone can be so desperate to get their hands on money that they would actually want to see someone dead. We all do not understand the thinking but we all are glad that we do not have such feelings because it must be a very awful way to live. We might have known there were some things not right before but now for sure there is no way to overlook it.

    Are you still a guardian, I remember you said you had a ward to oversee. You must have gone thru court too.

    As for the court coming to see mother, well that will not do much good. Mother knows nothing about older sister being in control and we sure do not want to tell her for fear of making her upset. As for her care I feel the home is doing a good job and the most mother will say to the court person is that she wants to go home. Older sister is not foolish by any means, she visits each week for a short time and does mother's landry. She was told by mother's lawyer she had to do that or there would be a problem. All we want is for mother do do well and stay alive as she is still able to enjoy things. It is true I see people there that just stare off into space but she is not like that at all.

    Thank You and we will do some research on the nurse staff next week.
  13. #13
    catipper is offline Junior Member
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    Very Important

    We are very disappointed as we went to the court yesterday thinking that the Judge was going to talk with us on getting some money for disabled sister from the mother's estate under the loop hole of care taker status, but instead we found that the meeting was only for us to become conservator (which we now are offically) for the disabled sister's estate. Which is kind of funny as she has absolutely NO income or money. I mentioned to him that he had told us to do so, and he kind of said "I said that?", then he said for us to submit a letter to the court asking for such consideration and he would sign it and hold a hearing as he does know older sister is against this. We are so uneducated on court proceedure that it is not funny. Did you ever hear of anything like this or run across it in your dealings? I now wonder are we going in the right direction, this is a very serious thing as disabled sister has most likely a year to go before she MIGHT be approved for disability, altho I can not see how she could not be. This is about her having a life of some kind. Older sister has said that she will go to the hearing and will voice her thoughts to the Judge, she absolutley is against the disabled sister getting any of mother's money before she (older sister) does.

    Today I will go back to the court with the drafted letter and try to talk with the court clerk (who is very helpful) if we are going in the right direction with this. We know we understood the Judge the first time when he told us to do this and so far he has kept his word and signed what we have submitted. I also undertand the Judge is for the mother's care but it was his idea for us to apply for care taker consideration, as we never even knew about it. He even mentioned the house could go to care taker but we know that is not what is best for disabled sister as she needs a small place.

    If you have any input please let me know, in the meantime we are going to try and move on altho we were very down hearted yesterday for sure. Disabled sister has been used so many times due to her slowness and yet she is the nicest person you could meet, it is just that family does not want to help her in any way so there is no support there. You can clearly tell by looking at her she is slow so no one really takes her anywhere except for us, and that makes us so mad you can not believe. One good thing is that mother loves her to pieces and that is good for disabled sister, too bad mother never thought to put it in legal writing instead of making a note on a will. Very sad, and it is getting worst as time goes on with older sister in control.
  14. #14
    BlondiePB is offline Senior Member
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    catipper,

    Conservator of your mother's estate and conservator of your sister's estate are two different things. Since disabled sister is not a minor or an adult child under 24 yrs. old that is enrolled in school/college, the Court will NOT order conservator of your mother's estate to provide support for your disabled sister. Legally, disabled sister is not entitled to be supported by your mother. Caretaker refers to the person that takes care of your mother, who is control sister. Control sister is the one entitled to caretaker consideration. If you were conservator of your mother's estate, control sister (as conservator of your mother's person), would have to petition to you (as conservator of estate for caretaker consideration). Perhaps the Judge was not clear about who was who in all this. You really need to seriously consider hiring an attorney that specializes in guardianships/conservatorships. You can obtain a free consultation.

    With your court authorization for conservator of your sister's estate, you now have the legal authorization to handle SSD and other monetary affairs for disabled sister. Apply for state assistance for your disabled sister (Medicaid, food stamps, SSI, etc.) at the Dept. of Children and Families. Use disabled sister's name, address, etc. for the person who is applying for whatever you are applying for on behalf of disabled sister. On the line where it states legal representative, after signing your name, follow your signature with Conservator. You will need to bring the original Court Order. Do not leave that original order with any agency The agency can make a copy of it.

    Until your mother passes, you will not be able to do anything regarding disabled sister's interest in your mother's estate. Just keep all your records in a safe deposit box. Remember, control sister must have a court order allowing control sister to change or sell your mother's assests. Making changes without court permission will be BIG trouble for control sister. If you learn that control sister has made changes, petition to have her removed as conservator of the estate.

    My "kids" (wards), typically, are in their eighties, have multiple health problems, dementia (making them not cognitive to the seriousness of their situation), have family that have been notified the person needs a plenary guardian, and the family has no interest in taking on this responsibility. My "kids" have assests, have valid wills leaving their assests to their family who had no interest in being the ward's guardian upon being notified and who did not know they were the heirs to the estate. Any guesses on when these families became interested in their relatives? My loyalty, responsibility, and duty are to the ward.

    I rarely see the inside of a court house because my excellent guardian attorney quickly takes care of all legal matters and petitions necessary. I have learned to pick "my battles" very wisely and have excellent relationships with the "hands-on" caretakers of my "kids" and their health care providers. My biggest problem was with a private duty CNA from an agency that was hired who would not follow directives, even the directives by Hospice. A couple of days after having the CNA removed from the case, I received a threatening phone call from the CNA. The agency that the CNA worked for terminated the CNA. The phone calls at 4:00 a.m. notifying me that a ward is being sent to the hospital aren't so great. I have to get up and go though. I deal with little things such as "my chocolate is missing" to really big things such as critical life decisions and funeral arrangements.
  15. #15
    catipper is offline Junior Member
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    Smile Still Positive

    I talked with the court clerk yesterday and found out this is the process one goes thru. I handed in the letter and the Judge said he will sign it and hold a hearing. In this state a conservator is allow to make a gift with the courts approval. But of course we all know the catch here, the control sister will not go for it so we will see. In the meantime the clerk said there are several ways to go at this and we will explore each one as we go along starting with the hearing first. Yes it is said that even tho she can get paid it will be a small amount as she is not doing much with mother in a home, so that really made control sister mad but she can not get rid of the attorney as it is court appointed.

    Control sister has no fear of lying to the court and has done so now a few times. One of them was what you would call not a lie but a way of presenting yourself to appear that you were the caretaker all those years. In my letter to the court I took care of that one. Control sister had absolutely NO contact with mother for the past 10 years, and I put that down. Disabled sister was the caretaker.

    The bottom line is what you said, we need to consult an Elder Law attorney. I have looked around and so far the fee of talking is $250.00, so if I can not find a first time free consult I will have to pay. It is the only way we can find out what rights disabled sister has.

    How did you end up with so many wards? Thank goodness you do not have to fight someone like we do, there is no end to greed and it drives a person to do things that are not sane for sure.

    Thank you for your expert advice, I have leaned a lot in this process. The court is still working with us and does want us to have help for disabled sister. Also found out that they are not happy with the way control sister is handling things and are watching her, but she is not stupid and her drive for the money is strong. She has been able to pull this all of without having an attorney and no knowledge of the law.

    Wish us luck we sure will need it.

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