Durable POA and elder abuse

[kaosotep]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? SD

Father-in-law was diagnosed with neurological disorder. He is 65 years old. He has no use of his left side and disease is beginning to spread on his right side. He drags his left side and he slurs when he speaks. He was recently in a car accident and lost his license as well. He can't stand for long periods of time and needs support. He has fallen many times and has visible cuts on his feet, arm and shoulders.

He is still insisting on independent living but recently took in a neighbor who is 35 years his junior. She is staying in his guest room. Claims that there's nothing romantic. My husband found out that he's been buying her things, expensive things (camera, laptop, pays for her car insurance and provides her $1k a month). He stated that she helps him around the house. She was kicked out of her parents home because she's an alcoholic. My husband lives in California so my husband came to visit after hearing his car accident and this situation with this woman.

Fathers family agrees on assisted living and my husband has a durable power of attorney. My father-in-law is adamant on independent living and was upset when my husband mentioned a financial audit from an independent source. He claims that how or where he spends his money is his business. My mother-in-law passed away 7 years ago from cancer.

His father's neurologist is ordering an environmental check in to see his living conditions. Doctor also ordered a mental check-up which my father-in-law was very angry about. Doctor also said that he should consider assisted living but he was also ignoring her. Apparently, he's cancelled his appts. and hasn't seen his doctor for 4 months. My husband has to force him to see her today.

When can my husband invoke the POA? His father still seems competent but being unreasonable. He is currently in denial about his disorder (thinking it will go away). There is no cure and he's only been given muscle relaxants to be more comfortable. Eventually, he will have no use of his right side as well and dementia is another symptom that we're not looking forward to.

My husband told me that he's been angry and yelling at him for bringing up assisted living and inquiring about the woman. She temporarily moved out while my husband is there. My husband doesn't know what to do and he just wants to give up and come home.

Any help is much appreciated.

[BlondiePB]

When can my husband invoke the POA?

That info should be in the drafted document.

[kaosotep]

The Durable POA was signed in 2000. Initially, the POA named my mother-in-law as the agent. My husband was secondary agent but I'm assuming that as soon as my mother-in-law passed away in 2002, it transferred to my husband?

More information came out regarding the woman in question. It turns out that she has a gambling problem and she's gotten my father-in-law into drinking which is really bad for his situation.

The doctor is working with my husband and my husband has no problem there. My husband tried to speak to my father-in-law's financial planner and he refused to honor the power of attorney. Is that legal?

My husband is distraught. Thinks his father has gone off the deep end. He told my husband that he's giving my mother-in-law's spoon collection to this new woman. He doesn't know what to do at this point.

[candg918]

Check this link:

[url=http://dss.sd.gov/elderlyservices/services/adultprotective.asp]Adult Protective Services :: ASA Services[/url]

In larger communities there is likely an agency (in my area it is partly funded by the United Way so check their sponsored agencies) dedicated to senior issues. They will likely have list of attorneys knowledgable in elder law; your husband should take a consultation with someone to understand what he can do and to map out a strategy.

Good luck to you all.

[BlondiePB]

The Durable POA was signed in 2000. Initially, the POA named my mother-in-law as the agent. My husband was secondary agent but I'm assuming that as soon as my mother-in-law passed away in 2002, it transferred to my husband?

Correct.

My husband tried to speak to my father-in-law's financial planner and he refused to honor the power of attorney. Is that legal?

Yes.

Without reading the POA document, which is what I pointed you do in my first reply, all of us - including yourself, are at a loss of what exactly can and cannot be done, especially when the POA can be invoked.

Here's another link that will give you regions in SD for adult protective services.

http://dss.sd.gov/elderlyservices/offices/