Elder Abuse by a relative

[mydadson]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NJ

My sister and her adult daughter have lived with my mom for almost 10 years, since my dad died. My dad left my mom well off, almost a million in assets, They sold her house that was paid off and bought one, but mom mortgaged it. My sister got POA about 2 and a half years ago because mom was being hospitilized, not life-threatening. My sister needed to pay the bills, she contributes nothing.

Since mom signed sister as POA, mom is broke, IRS has seized mom's bank account and filed lein. SS was leined for 25% to IRS. House is in foreclosure for 2nd time this year, sister filed bankruptcy in mom's name to stop it, Credit cards are maxed out, sister has signed over all vehicles to herself (forged mom's name when I told her she could not use POA to sign title to herself), The worst is probably that mom's house is trashed, not habitable, because my sister is an animal hoarder and has never cleaned. I have no way to describe the smell, even from outside, and it's been a long time since I've gone in. Mom is 72 years old and suffers with chronic breathing problems (no wonder). She had no phone, no hot water, and for her last 2 weeks there, no air cond.

FINALLY, I got mom to come "stay" with me. I intend to file for assistance for having her with me since I can't afford to support my mom too.

One question is, when I apply for assistance for caring for my mom, will I be asked why her living arrangements have changed, or why she moved in with me? If so, what should I say? I am inclined to tell the truth. If I let my sister handle the mess, it will end somehow anyway, and she can walk away. I could settle for that, as long as I can take care of my mom and receive financial assistance that my sister can not get her hands on.

What about my sister's crimes? I'm afraid to have mom's mental capacity evaluated because I think it's better to have POA revoked NOW. Should I take legal steps against my sister? Mom says no. I am looking for opinion on "ratting" on my sister, and if I did, what is the process, and what should I expect to happen?

Sorry for the long post...there's more, this is the short story...I don't know what to do.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[BlondiePB]

One question is, when I apply for assistance for caring for my mom, will I be asked why her living arrangements have changed, or why she moved in with me?

You are asking something no one here can tell you.

If so, what should I say? I am inclined to tell the truth.

Yes, tell the truth.

If I let my sister handle the mess, it will end somehow anyway, and she can walk away. I could settle for that, as long as I can take care of my mom and receive financial assistance that my sister can not get her hands on.

If mom is still competent, she needs to revoke sister's POA and have a new one drafted. If mom is not competent, petition for guardianship. Report sister to the authorities for elder abuse.

 

[momm2500]

New Jersey (NJ) Elder Abuse Lawyer - Elder Abuse Foundation

 

[mydadson]

Thanks for your post. My mom's relatives and friends are pitching in, selling the house, finding homes for the animals, basically forcing my sister to find herself a home. The application for assistance was financial qualification only. We didn't qualify, but may due to medical needs.

A little paranoid that social services review elder case applications like this initially as potential financial abuse, is it realistic of me to assume that would reasonably suggest that I be regarded as a suspect?

I have no worries of being eliminated in the event of a case investigation. I didn't even think of self-implecation until after I submitted our information to request assistance. Previously, I thought of myself as wise to the ways of the world. Today, I sit on a lowered perch. But my integrity remains high.

Thanks again for this place to express my concerns. I suspect this subject is taboo when the crimes are that of a relative, even though I've read statistics that reveal it more common than found in a nursing home or similar facility. It's hard to face any abuse in society. It is sickening that it occurred in my family.

 

[mydadson]

Selling the house that's trashed

My mom's house is in foreclosure, stopped for now by filing bankruptcy (details are in my post "Elder Abuse by a Relative"). Due to the condition of the house which would never pass any code inspection, is it possible (although not probable) to sell it without recourse for it's condition? Am I correct in thinking this would be "as-is" ? If so, are disclosures still required?

The balance owed is about what the property would assess for now, estimating that the house, if in move-in condition, would have been valued for about the amount that would have been considered paid-in equity. How would the mortgage company proceed, once they have knowledge of the condition, if we can not find a buyer?

 

[seniorjudge]

Q: Due to the condition of the house which would never pass any code inspection, is it possible (although not probable) to sell it without recourse for it's condition? Am I correct in thinking this would be "as-is" ? If so, are disclosures still required?

A: If ma is not competent, then there is really no one to make disclosures. As earlier urged, tell the truth about the house; let any prospective purchasers make their own inspections.




Q: How would the mortgage company proceed, once they have knowledge of the condition, if we can not find a buyer?

A: The mortgage company doesn't give a rip about the condition of the house; they just want to sell it. And that's what they will do.

 

[mydadson]

No POA

The POA my sister had was revoked on 8/1. I prepared the Revokation Form (used a link from this site), Mom signed it, sister was told and given a copy of the signed Revokation Form same day. It was not notarized until yesterday (so mom signed a new copy yesterday).

I really don't know what to do with the Revokation Form at this point. My sister used her POA at the bank, a real estate agreement, banktrupcy lawyer..., for everything everywhere. Should the attorney who prepared the POA be the one to have prepared the Revokation? When he prepared the POA, would he have done any filing of it?

I called the attorney to ask and his secretary insists that I am asking for legal advice, and if I want to know, make an appointment. I think she meant my mother, who has no money now to pay for more of his advice, because she did advise me that only my mother could revoke that POA!). Yes, but only with him? I prepared the Revokation. Is that alright? If so,

Since the attorney did not prepare the Revokation, should I send it to him?

Should Revokations be sent to the others who have the POA?

In other words, who sends what and to whom?

If Revokation Forms are to be sent, is each of them a notarized original?

I am trying to find out what my mom needs to do, to completely revoke my sister's power.

Thank you for the free advice offered from the members posting here.

 

[seniorjudge]

No one can tell you if the revocation is effective without seeing it.

 

[mydadson]

I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean. Is it a matter of whether the proper form (for NJ) was used?

I feel confident that this form would be correct for this use. But I can understand that no one could validate this or that I have prepared it correctly without seeing it themselves.

Or, do you mean that I can not expect it to be effective until it is received?

 

[seniorjudge]

I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean. Is it a matter of whether the proper form (for NJ) was used?

I feel confident that this form would be correct for this use. But I can understand that no one could validate this or that I have prepared it correctly without seeing it themselves.

Or, do you mean that I can not expect it to be effective until it is received?

You certainly need to send copies of the revocation to everyone you think needs to see it.

 

[mydadson]

Thank you, I understand now. Since I don't know if or to whom the attorney would have sent to, I will include that direction with the notarized one I mail to him.

 

[anteater]

Thank you, I understand now. Since I don't know if or to whom the attorney would have sent to, I will include that direction with the notarized one I mail to him.

I am kind of lost here. Why are you assuming that the attorney sent copies of the original POA to anybody? In my experience, that would be highly unusual. I imagine that the attorney will be mightily confused when he/she receives a revocation with instructions to send it to whomever.

 

[BlondiePB]

I am kind of lost here. Why are you assuming that the attorney sent copies of the original POA to anybody? In my experience, that would be highly unusual. I imagine that the attorney will be mightily confused when he/she receives a revocation with instructions to send it to whomever.

I agree, ant.


To mydadson, is your mother competent? You never stated so. Mom's competency is a HUGE legal issue here.

 

[BlondiePB]

Quote:
Originally Posted by private_person3
As a Judge, I would expect you to have a better mastery of the language or at leas the better sense not to put words in someones mouth!!!

SJ, this is too funny!!

 

[mydadson]

I don't know that he did. However, I read that POA's in NJ are filed with the Recorder of Deeds. Since my sister used it to sign a real estate agreement, and various other land issues, I intend to be specific with the attorney that he, in turn, file the Revokation with anyone he thinks should see it. I will do the same.

I asked the attorney's office if they filed POA's with anyone, and they refused to answer my question without an appointment for which I would be expected to pay. Had I been there when he prepared the POA, I would have asked that question that day. Mom did pay for the POA that day.