Help in bringing my mom home

[beder]

What is the name of your state? Mississippi

3 years ago my brother convinced my mom, who is now 85 years old, to move to his home state of Virginia. He had her sell her home and I have no idea who has control over her money.

Bottom line, she is begging me to bring her home to Mississippi. She says he is verbally abusive. From my own experience with him, I know this to be true.

She is not mentally impaired; she is just elderly.

I have approached him on just letting her visit for a couple of weeks, but he is against it.

Does she have any rights in this? She is aware she has made a terrible mistake, but my brother is unreasonable and refuses to give her any say so in her decisions.

Please help...

 

[AlexandriaDumas]

Does she have any rights in this? She is aware she has made a terrible mistake, but my brother is unreasonable and refuses to give her any say so in her decisions.

Please help...

Why can't your mom just say to him, "Eff you," and walk out the door to her waiting taxi, or you, as your car idles at the curb? Is there something you've left out of this story?

 

[moburkes]

Maybe his 85 year old mother doesn't have a potty mouth like you!

 

[beder]

Believe me, I have encouraged her to do just that, (except EFF You is not in her vocabulary).

Yes, I guess there is a background to this. There were 3 of us originally - 2 boys and me, the youngest, a girl.

The brother she agreed to go with left at 18 for college and never came back. My oldest brother had a heart attack and died at the age of 34. She never got over it.

And so when my other brother gave her attention, she jumped on it.

He has always been an A$$H@Le, but she didn't see it. He has an horrific temper, and even though I don't believe he would lay a hand on her, I think she is afraid if she gets him upset, he will die of a heart attack.

It's complicated and emotional. I just need to know if she has any rights considering he totally controls every aspect of her life.

 

[beder]

I guess my real question is:

Can I get a court order? He has control of her money and has all of her furniture in storage. He also has her car. I am willing to drive to Virginia and get her, but what are my options in getting her property back to Mississippi?

 

[tigger22472]

Believe me, I have encouraged her to do just that, (except EFF You is not in her vocabulary).

Yes, I guess there is a background to this. There were 3 of us originally - 2 boys and me, the youngest, a girl.

The brother she agreed to go with left at 18 for college and never came back. My oldest brother had a heart attack and died at the age of 34. She never got over it.

And so when my other brother gave her attention, she jumped on it.

He has always been an A$$H@Le, but she didn't see it. He has an horrific temper, and even though I don't believe he would lay a hand on her, I think she is afraid if she gets him upset, he will die of a heart attack.

It's complicated and emotional. I just need to know if she has any rights considering he totally controls every aspect of her life.

As long as she's competent then she can move and go anywhere she pleases. The problem in avoiding your brother is obtaining all of her possessions and finding out who's in control of her finances. Other than that she can physically go anywehre she pleases.

 

[tigger22472]

I guess my real question is:

Can I get a court order? He has control of her money and has all of her furniture in storage. He also has her car. I am willing to drive to Virginia and get her, but what are my options in getting her property back to Mississippi?

Now you say that he's got control of her money, do you mean in a legal sense or just has been controlling it? Take a truck, empty out the storage, close any bank accounts, inform SS if needed to have checks changed etc... She might have to leave the car and fight for it later but other than that I don't see an issue.

You wouldn't need a court order. Even if she gave him a POA as long as she is of sound mind she has the right to revoke at any time.

 

[AlexandriaDumas]

I just need to know if she has any rights considering he totally controls every aspect of her life.

You're overthinking this. She has every single right you or I have. Do you think once you become 85 you lose your rights?

Since you've given a little more background, it seems that your mother is torn about making the move back to Mississippi. Have you considered going to her, showing up on your brother's doorstep and checking to see if everything's okay? Or have you done that already? Of, if that's not possible, call her local police department and express your concerns and ask them to check on her for you. You might mention the words, "elder abuse," if necessary.

Best wishes.

 

[beder]

And so if he refuses to cooperate and send her furniture, access to her bank account, etc...
Will I have to fight it in Virginia, or can I fight it from Mississippi?

 

[tigger22472]

And so if he refuses to cooperate and send her furniture, access to her bank account, etc...
Will I have to fight it in Virginia, or can I fight it from Mississippi?

Why put her or you in that situation at all? Empty bank accounts and take a truck to the storage place. As far as the car you would have to sue him in Virginia if it came to that. You don't seem to even know what kind of control he has...if he obtained a POA because she is NOT competent, thats a whole new ballgame but you've said she is.

 

[beder]

Thank you Tigger.

Actually, I have told her to get a duplicate key for her car and hide it. My plan is to drive to Roanoke and get her along with my son who will take the car.

She is not torn: she is exhausted and ready to come home. I don't know if he has POA. She says "No", but I am afraid she signed so many papers when her house was sold, she may not know.

Now, the furniture in storage may be a different obstacle. She doesn't know where it is. I guess I can get it back, but I may have to get a court order or file a judgement. Can I do that from Mississippi?

 

[tigger22472]

Thank you Tigger.

Actually, I have told her to get a duplicate key for her car and hide it. My plan is to drive to Roanoke and get her along with my son who will take the car.

She is not torn: she is exhausted and ready to come home. I don't know if he has POA. She says "No", but I am afraid she signed so many papers when her house was sold, she may not know.

Now, the furniture in storage may be a different obstacle. She doesn't know where it is. I guess I can get it back, but I may have to get a court order or file a judgement. Can I do that from Mississippi?

Physically you can do it from Mississippi but it has to be filed in Virginia. Mississippi cannot order a Virginia resident to do something like this. You must sue him in HIS jurisdiction. In fact YOU cannot sue him, only your mom would be able to do this. As far as the POA, if there is one she would have to send a letter to all interested parties who believe there is a POA, if there is one, and revoke it.