Oldestdaugter57
Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NE
My father has dementia and is living in a Veteran's Home here in Nebraska. He made no provisions whatsoever for growing old, let alone becoming disabled. He is married to a woman 26 years younger than he is, who walked out on him 3 years ago when he had to quit working because of health problems. For whatever reason - I've heard about a hundred - they are still not divorced. However, my youngest sister and I are my dad's POAs for everything, health care, finance, you name it. Dad was very agreeable to this when the papers were drawn up and signed. We have a brother who lives in California, who wants no part of what goes on here, and another sister who is, shall we say, less than trustworthy? My two sisters lived with dad for a year and a half after his wife left him since he was falling a lot and not able to drive anymore, and he attempted suicide 3 times, once while sitting right next to the the middle sister. She didn't even notice he was drinking antifreeze! She would also take him down to the local bar/restaurant and drop him off so he could eat lunch and then leave instructions for the waitress to call her when he was done. We asked her repeatedly not to do this, yet she continued. After his 3rd suicide attempt we told her she would have to get up in the morning with dad when my youngest sister left for work. No more sleeping until noon, because he needed her full attention. She continued to sleep all day and dad would call me because he was hungry or lonesome. I think you're beginning to see why she wasn't selected as POA... She also get's migraine headaches and has to go to the ER for medication, which leaves her totally out of it for a couple of days at a time at least twice a month.
Anyway... The whole stupid point is... She's decided that she wants to be POA so she's telling everyone and their brother, including dad's guardian ad litem for the divorce, that I'm stealing money from my dad. The funny thing is - dad HAS NO MONEY. His maintenance at the nursing home takes all but $235 of his money every month. I pay for his cable TV, make sure he has money in his spending account at the home, pay his VA hospital bill here in Omaha which is $50/month, and that's pretty much the end of his money. He and his wife have over $80,000 in credit card bills and he's constantly getting notices in the mail that he's being sued, but fortunately, they can't take any of his pension money and all the cases are being dismissed without prejudice.
I'm absolutely fed up and tired of being accused of stealing when all I'm doing is trying to take care of dad. His dementia makes him very paranoid anyway and my sister is constantly feeding into that, telling him that I'm taking his money and not paying his bills, etc. What can I do to get out of this? My youngest sister, who also shares POA duties with me doesn't want to do it alone either because of what's been going on. Is there any way the court can appoint someone to do it, other than the sister who is doing all this accusing and finger pointing? At one time she had access to my grandmother's checkbook, while grandma was in a nursing home and $500 disappeared. If she doesn't pay dad's bills, I'm afraid of what would happen to him. I need to get off this crazy train, but I'm not sure there's a way to do it without me having to spend my disability money to do it - that's MY only income.
My father has dementia and is living in a Veteran's Home here in Nebraska. He made no provisions whatsoever for growing old, let alone becoming disabled. He is married to a woman 26 years younger than he is, who walked out on him 3 years ago when he had to quit working because of health problems. For whatever reason - I've heard about a hundred - they are still not divorced. However, my youngest sister and I are my dad's POAs for everything, health care, finance, you name it. Dad was very agreeable to this when the papers were drawn up and signed. We have a brother who lives in California, who wants no part of what goes on here, and another sister who is, shall we say, less than trustworthy? My two sisters lived with dad for a year and a half after his wife left him since he was falling a lot and not able to drive anymore, and he attempted suicide 3 times, once while sitting right next to the the middle sister. She didn't even notice he was drinking antifreeze! She would also take him down to the local bar/restaurant and drop him off so he could eat lunch and then leave instructions for the waitress to call her when he was done. We asked her repeatedly not to do this, yet she continued. After his 3rd suicide attempt we told her she would have to get up in the morning with dad when my youngest sister left for work. No more sleeping until noon, because he needed her full attention. She continued to sleep all day and dad would call me because he was hungry or lonesome. I think you're beginning to see why she wasn't selected as POA... She also get's migraine headaches and has to go to the ER for medication, which leaves her totally out of it for a couple of days at a time at least twice a month.
Anyway... The whole stupid point is... She's decided that she wants to be POA so she's telling everyone and their brother, including dad's guardian ad litem for the divorce, that I'm stealing money from my dad. The funny thing is - dad HAS NO MONEY. His maintenance at the nursing home takes all but $235 of his money every month. I pay for his cable TV, make sure he has money in his spending account at the home, pay his VA hospital bill here in Omaha which is $50/month, and that's pretty much the end of his money. He and his wife have over $80,000 in credit card bills and he's constantly getting notices in the mail that he's being sued, but fortunately, they can't take any of his pension money and all the cases are being dismissed without prejudice.
I'm absolutely fed up and tired of being accused of stealing when all I'm doing is trying to take care of dad. His dementia makes him very paranoid anyway and my sister is constantly feeding into that, telling him that I'm taking his money and not paying his bills, etc. What can I do to get out of this? My youngest sister, who also shares POA duties with me doesn't want to do it alone either because of what's been going on. Is there any way the court can appoint someone to do it, other than the sister who is doing all this accusing and finger pointing? At one time she had access to my grandmother's checkbook, while grandma was in a nursing home and $500 disappeared. If she doesn't pay dad's bills, I'm afraid of what would happen to him. I need to get off this crazy train, but I'm not sure there's a way to do it without me having to spend my disability money to do it - that's MY only income.
