Power of attorney being challenged

[Wii36o]

hello.

I am full power of attorney and legal guardian over my mother age 83. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's about 10 years ago. I started out by placing her in the most elite of care facilities. This amounted to about $8,000 months and she absolutely hated being there. Later I moved her to a small home run care from someone I knew. She has been living. There for the last 8 years. Her care is paid for from her savings and social security checks. Nothing is or has ever been paid for by the government. Her care is great and the people have been with her for years. In addition I am the sole beneficiary and only child for her will.

Now that you understand my story let's move on. I recently went through an ugly divorce. My ex was very bitter and continues to find ways to get at me and disrupt my life. The latest is calling adult protective services saying my mother wasn't being cared for and that I was stealing money from her.

Next of course adult protective service (aps) started an investigation. They are calling the care giver and harassing her asking her if my mother is alive and if she is being properly cared for. They also contacted me and said I was under investigation for stealing money from her account and that my power of attorney could be revoked and she could fall under custody of the county.

Why would they think I am stealing money? Well I was advised by her in her normal state and my financial advisor to gift the max amount to me and my ex while we married each year to deplete her account and avoid the government taxing her upon her death. In addition I recently with legal help wrote up a promissary note for $100k to pay off my ex in the divorce to retain the house I live in. The money that was gifted was put into my retirement account that I had to split with my ex. The $100k was advised in order to avoid paying penalties on taking money out of the retirement account. This is exactly what my mother would have done and wanted. This is not stealing in any way. I have over $300k in my retirement plus a $1.4 million piece of landed and $40k in my standard bank account. Clearly I wasn't stealing from my mother. Not to mention I'm the sole beneficiary of her will and it would be the equivalent of stealing from myself.

Please help me understand this situation. I csnt sleep at night worrying about this. I am a good person that was only doing as my mother would have wanted things to be done. What is going to happen? Csn they honestly take my POA away and have the government take care of my mom and watch her savings go to some overpriced home she hates??? Please help.

 

[quincy]

What is the name of your state?

 

[Wii36o]

State

This is in Wisconsin.

 

[Wii36o]

State

What is the name of your state?

Wisconsin is the state.

 

[anteater]

What do you mean by being "legal guardian?"

Does the Power of Attorney state explicitly that you can make gifts? Does it state explicitly that you can make gifts to yourself?

Giving you my honest opinion.... You are on the edge of getting slapped around for self-dealing. I would be looking to have an attorney lined up in case APS pursues this.

 

[justalayman]

Having money does not mean one won't steal. Hell, that's how some people have become wealthy.


If you don't have proof of the intent to gift you all this money, that is one reason they would believe you are stealing money.

Then you have used your mothers money for your personal benefit. That pretty much defines stealing, or often termed conversion.

If you don't have a lawyer involved already, it's time to hire one.


Not only can the POA be terminated, you could be facing criminal charges if your actions are seen as illegal. You need an attorney now.

 

[commentator]

Okay, just out of curiosity, you are the "only child for my mother's will" Are you the only child, no other family members?

Gifting yourself every year "so the government wouldn't tax her upon her death" may be looked at as a bit questionable. Your ex, of course, was on board with that as long as you were married and he was benefiting from it.

And then there's the $100,000 promissory note you wrote to pay off your ex husbands share of your retirement account (?) If I were you, I'd speak to an attorney at once about this whole situation. It sounds as though you are about to be called to answer, at least to be investigated for the use of your mother's money, just because your ex has questioned it as he was leaving you.

And just because you are not living in poverty does not mean you are not misusing your mother's assets and will not serve as any kind of defense.

But your big source of worry seems to be about the care facility she is now in versus the one she used to be in. If you really look at it, you took your mother out of the expensive place and put her in a cheaper place. Of course that may have been for the best, but really, if someone wanted to, which your ex has, they could paint that in a whole different light. If your mother is getting adequate level of care at the place she is now, I don't see them demanding that you put her back in the more expensive home. Is that going to be the way it is when investigated? How often do you check on her? When you say they are "calling the caregiver and asking if my mother is still alive" that sounds like your husband made some pretty serious allegations. How true are they going to turn out to be? Incidentally, calling the caregiver in such a case is NOT harassing her, it is part of conducting an investigation on the well being of your mother. It shouldn't be a problem if the care she is receiving is adequate and she is well satisfied there.

 

[Silverplum]

hello.

I am full power of attorney and legal guardian over my mother age 83. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's about 10 years ago. I started out by placing her in the most elite of care facilities. This amounted to about $8,000 months and she absolutely hated being there. Later I moved her to a small home run care from someone I knew. She has been living. There for the last 8 years. Her care is paid for from her savings and social security checks. Nothing is or has ever been paid for by the government. Her care is great and the people have been with her for years. In addition I am the sole beneficiary and only child for her will.

Now that you understand my story let's move on. I recently went through an ugly divorce. My ex was very bitter and continues to find ways to get at me and disrupt my life. The latest is calling adult protective services saying my mother wasn't being cared for and that I was stealing money from her.

Next of course adult protective service (aps) started an investigation. They are calling the care giver and harassing her asking her if my mother is alive and if she is being properly cared for. They also contacted me and said I was under investigation for stealing money from her account and that my power of attorney could be revoked and she could fall under custody of the county.

Why would they think I am stealing money? Well I was advised by her in her normal state and my financial advisor to gift the max amount to me and my ex while we married each year to deplete her account and avoid the government taxing her upon her death. In addition I recently with legal help wrote up a promissary note for $100k to pay off my ex in the divorce to retain the house I live in. The money that was gifted was put into my retirement account that I had to split with my ex. The $100k was advised in order to avoid paying penalties on taking money out of the retirement account. This is exactly what my mother would have done and wanted. This is not stealing in any way. I have over $300k in my retirement plus a $1.4 million piece of landed and $40k in my standard bank account. Clearly I wasn't stealing from my mother. Not to mention I'm the sole beneficiary of her will and it would be the equivalent of stealing from myself.

Please help me understand this situation. I csnt sleep at night worrying about this. I am a good person that was only doing as my mother would have wanted things to be done. What is going to happen? Csn they honestly take my POA away and have the government take care of my mom and watch her savings go to some overpriced home she hates??? Please help.

Must Q4P.
.

 

[Wii36o]

What do you mean by being "legal guardian?"

Does the Power of Attorney state explicitly that you can make gifts? Does it state explicitly that you can make gifts to yourself?

Giving you my honest opinion.... You are on the edge of getting slapped around for self-dealing. I would be looking to have an attorney lined up in case APS pursues this.

I am the legal guardian of her and make all decisions regarding her care and well being. It was at the advice of my financial officer to gift the maximum amount to myself and family. My mother has Alzheimer's. How am I stealing from her. If I had not taken the loan to pay off my ex for his half of the house I would have lost my house. Losing my house would have risked losing a place to care for my mother had her current care facility decided to up and vanish. I am prepared and have been to take over her care if need be at my residence.

I have had and still have the financial ability to pay back the entire amount to her account albeit with a penalty because I am liquidating a retirement account. I have no way to gain from that it was only to secure the house and honestly I didn't realize I was doing anything wrong. I did in fact have a lawyer draft it up during the divorce. If this was illegal why would this be allowed? I am the beneficiary of her entire estate and no there are no other relatives involved. I am a simple person and not some mastermind theif who is liquidating my mothers assets for my gain. My god I have had to deal with Alzheimer's directly everyday for over 10 years. To imply that I am some how doing this for gain is a complete joke.

 

[anteater]

"Legal guardian" implies to me that you applied to the courts for guardianship and that it was granted to you. Is that the case?

It was at the advice of my financial officer to gift the maximum amount ...

Ah, yes. You know, when I need legal advice, I always look to my "financial officer" - whatever that may be.

Look... You can put on your blinders and keep repeating the same things. But you have stated that APS is investigating already. Maybe APS will accept your explanations. Maybe they won't.

 

[Wii36o]

Okay, just out of curiosity, you are the "only child for my mother's will" Are you the only child, no other family members?

Gifting yourself every year "so the government wouldn't tax her upon her death" may be looked at as a bit questionable. Your ex, of course, was on board with that as long as you were married and he was benefiting from it.

And then there's the $100,000 promissory note you wrote to pay off your ex husbands share of your retirement account (?) If I were you, I'd speak to an attorney at once about this whole situation. It sounds as though you are about to be called to answer, at least to be investigated for the use of your mother's money, just because your ex has questioned it as he was leaving you.

And just because you are not living in poverty does not mean you are not misusing your mother's assets and will not serve as any kind of defense.

But your big source of worry seems to be about the care facility she is now in versus the one she used to be in. If you really look at it, you took your mother out of the expensive place and put her in a cheaper place. Of course that may have been for the best, but really, if someone wanted to, which your ex has, they could paint that in a whole different light. If your mother is getting adequate level of care at the place she is now, I don't see them demanding that you put her back in the more expensive home. Is that going to be the way it is when investigated? How often do you check on her? When you say they are "calling the caregiver and asking if my mother is still alive" that sounds like your husband made some pretty serious allegations. How true are they going to turn out to be? Incidentally, calling the caregiver in such a case is NOT harassing her, it is part of conducting an investigation on the well being of your mother. It shouldn't be a problem if the care she is receiving is adequate and she is well satisfied there.

I took her out of a more expensive facility because she hated it and tried to escape several times. She couldn't deal with the institution factor so I moved her to a private home. The fact it was cheaper is great because her care can go on longer without the government having to pay for it. Most of these over priced facilities are the way they are because the government funds them. I refuse to fund them and so would my mother.

The reason I say harass is this isn't the first time by far that they have called. She is well cared for and there isn't much else that can be done. Her staying in the more expensive as you call it place offers her no more care. I argue it's worse because it is so much like a hospital. Alzheimer's patients do better in smaller home settings.

 

[justalayman]

Your arguments are self serving and suggest your actions were improper.

Your bs about you losing your house could result in your mother becoming homeless is a huge load of crap. HER money is paying for her expenses in the cheaper place as well as the more expensive place. Why would you losing your house affect that?

Then you say the cheaper place is better because her money will last longer. Your argument about the government funded care being overpriced is, again, self serving. Why would you care if your mothers money was all spent on her care and utilized "government funds"? Of course that would mean you would inherit nothing but hey, why would that matter?



Additionally you have money in your retirement account. While you argued you didn't touch it because of penalties, it is almost assured there would be no penalties for having to split it for your divorce. The laws have dealt with that quite well.





You keep jumping on that "I'm the only heir" thing. You can only inherit what is there and until she passes, there is the possibility she loses absolutely everything with you inheriting nothing so, again, another self serving argument.

Everything you have done was with your best interest in mind at your mothers expense. It isn't your money yet. You used it like it is even if only to save yourself a couple bucks.

And let's not forget about that $1.4 mm property. Why didn't you simply leverage that chunk of dirt to raise the money for your divorce?


Yes, your actions look quite suspicious.

As to the lawyer drawing up the promissory note; I can hire an attorney to write pretty much anything. That doesn't mean they have advised me on the legal aspects of what the document contains. Writing a promissory note does not mean the lawyer reviewed your actions and their legality.

 

[Wii36o]

Your arguments are self serving and suggest your actions were improper.

Your bs about you losing your house could result in your mother becoming homeless is a huge load of crap. HER money is paying for her expenses in the cheaper place as well as the more expensive place. Why would you losing your house affect that?

Then you say the cheaper place is better because her money will last longer. Your argument about the government funded care being overpriced is, again, self serving. Why would you care if your mothers money was all spent on her care and utilized "government funds"? Of course that would mean you would inherit nothing but hey, why would that matter?



Additionally you have money in your retirement account. While you argued you didn't touch it because of penalties, it is almost assured there would be no penalties for having to split it for your divorce. The laws have dealt with that quite well.





You keep jumping on that "I'm the only heir" thing. You can only inherit what is there and until she passes, there is the possibility she loses absolutely everything with you inheriting nothing so, again, another self serving argument.

Everything you have done was with your best interest in mind at your mothers expense. It isn't your money yet. You used it like it is even if only to save yourself a couple bucks.

And let's not forget about that $1.4 mm property. Why didn't you simply leverage that chunk of dirt to raise the money for your divorce?


Yes, your actions look quite suspicious.

As to the lawyer drawing up the promissory note; I can hire an attorney to write pretty much anything. That doesn't mean they have advised me on the legal aspects of what the document contains. Writing a promissory note does not mean the lawyer reviewed your actions and their legality.

She wouldn't become homeless. She would become property of the state basically. They would liquidate her funds and then the taxpayer would continue to pay for her care until she passes. Is this bs? That is the reality. I was advised to so this and improperly so. I see that now and can reverse every dime back into the account if need be. I would take her in as her legal Gardian before I would ever let the state do so. This includes quitting my job to do so. She is my mother. I feel ask if there is a sense that I am some evil character on this post? Why would that be the case? If you had Alzheimer's would you want your money that you worked your whole life for to be taken over by the government or would you want your only remaining child to have it? The answer is she wanted me to have it as stated in her last will. I only did what I thought was best at the time and clearly there are issues with that as I see now. I wish I had the vision back then to look into it more but at the time with my husband we were lead to believe it was the right thing to do.

 

[Wii36o]

Your arguments are self serving and suggest your actions were improper.

Your bs about you losing your house could result in your mother becoming homeless is a huge load of crap. HER money is paying for her expenses in the cheaper place as well as the more expensive place. Why would you losing your house affect that?

Then you say the cheaper place is better because her money will last longer. Your argument about the government funded care being overpriced is, again, self serving. Why would you care if your mothers money was all spent on her care and utilized "government funds"? Of course that would mean you would inherit nothing but hey, why would that matter?



Additionally you have money in your retirement account. While you argued you didn't touch it because of penalties, it is almost assured there would be no penalties for having to split it for your divorce. The laws have dealt with that quite well.





You keep jumping on that "I'm the only heir" thing. You can only inherit what is there and until she passes, there is the possibility she loses absolutely everything with you inheriting nothing so, again, another self serving argument.

Everything you have done was with your best interest in mind at your mothers expense. It isn't your money yet. You used it like it is even if only to save yourself a couple bucks.

And let's not forget about that $1.4 mm property. Why didn't you simply leverage that chunk of dirt to raise the money for your divorce?


Yes, your actions look quite suspicious.

As to the lawyer drawing up the promissory note; I can hire an attorney to write pretty much anything. That doesn't mean they have advised me on the legal aspects of what the document contains. Writing a promissory note does not mean the lawyer reviewed your actions and their legality.

Leverage that chunk to pay for my divorce?? Not even sure what that means. I was dealing with rhe anguish of the divorce and trying to find a way to survive without having to pay huge penalty on my retirement account. You csnt just sell farmland in two months to pay for the house. Even if I could I wouldn't have known how to do that.

I think the point is being missed and that is clearly we (my husband included) were mislead into thinking we could gift that money to ourselves overtime to avoid taxes. Second I was mislead to think that because a lawyer helped draft up the promissary note for the $100k to pay off my mortgage to my ex was not legal. Trust me I wouldn't have done either.

 

[justalayman]

Leveraging the chunk of dirt;

Borrow using the property as security.



Who misled you regarding taking your mothers money in annual chunks to drain her accounts?


Did you ask the lawyer if it was legal for you, as POA to loan you as an individual your mothers money?