Prevented from visiting grandmother/former guardian w/ Alzheimers since 2010 by uncle

[seeking_advice_]

I have not been allowed to see my grandmother, age 88, who suffers from Alzheimer's since Aug. 2010, when my uncle moved her without notice from her home in Manhattan, NYC to his in Northern New Jersey. She was my former legal guardian in NY after my mother (her daughter) passed when I was 13, making her like a second mother to me. I am now 29.

My uncle and his family remain very uncooperative and do not communicate nor share anything regarding her health/care/whereabouts to me, so I am unsure of how she has been doing for the past 3.5 years. Despite all my efforts, he does not make it possible for me to see her whenever I contact him, always coming up with excuses. He is being intentionally vindictive towards me because he is a greedy person and did not get anything after my parents passed away.

I do not believe he went through the official process in NY or NJ of becoming her legal guardian. I am only aware of him having power of attorney to sign things for her at her bank. Seeking legal advice as to gaining guaranteed visitation before she passes, as I am unclear what my rights to seeing her are and want to proceed.

Unsure whether to pursue this in NY or NJ state, as my grandmother may still technically have NY state residency due to her still having an apt in NYC for my uncle's benefit. Please advise. Thank you.

 

[Proserpina]

I have not been allowed to see my grandmother, age 88, who suffers from Alzheimer's since Aug. 2010, when my uncle moved her without notice from her home in Manhattan, NYC to his in Northern New Jersey. She was my former legal guardian in NY after my mother (her daughter) passed when I was 13, making her like a second mother to me. I am now 29.

My uncle and his family remain very uncooperative and do not communicate nor share anything regarding her health/care/whereabouts to me, so I am unsure of how she has been doing for the past 3.5 years. Despite all my efforts, he does not make it possible for me to see her whenever I contact him, always coming up with excuses. He is being intentionally vindictive towards me because he is a greedy person and did not get anything after my parents passed away.

I do not believe he went through the official process in NY or NJ of becoming her legal guardian. I am only aware of him having power of attorney to sign things for her at her bank. Seeking legal advice as to gaining guaranteed visitation before she passes, as I am unclear what my rights to seeing her are and want to proceed.

Unsure whether to pursue this in NY or NJ state, as my grandmother may still technically have NY state residency due to her still having an apt in NYC for my uncle's benefit. Please advise. Thank you.

There is no law you can use to get visitation with your grandparent.

Sorry.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Call the local police. Ask for proof of life.

 

[seeking_advice_]

Even if she was my legal guardian from the age of 13?

What other options do I have to see her? Am I only left with applying for legal guardianship of my grandmother myself?

 

[Proserpina]

Even if she was my legal guardian from the age of 13?

Alas, yes. Once you reached adulthood, neither of you could be bound by a court order dictating visitation.

What other options do I have to see her? Am I only left with applying for legal guardianship of my grandmother myself?

You first might want to find out if there is actually a guardian appointed and then find out if whether or not she's been deemed mentally incompetent.

If there is no guardian appointed, she is considered to be in control of her wishes and actions - and that more or less takes your issue off the table completely, since she is effectively "choosing" not to have contact with you.

With all of that said, don't give up just yet. Read this http://www.state.nj.us/humanservices/doas/services/aps/ and this http://www.ocfs.state.ny.us/main/psa/

(info on elder abuse in NJ and NY, given that jurisdiction might be tricky)