Preventing Visitation???

[worried in illi]

Illinois - Cook County

Grandma has been in nursing home for a number of years. My mother has always visited her, fed her and has been very loving, patient and caring all this time. My aunt has power of attorney (how that happened I'll never know!).

There has been tension and chaos recently because mom fed gram and my aunt didn't want her fed. Claiming if she ate it would deny her 24 hr hospice care. My gram if fed and cared for doesn't need 24 hr care. Why would you not want to feed someone who is living and breathing!

Now my aunt has threatened to prevent my mom from seeing and visiting the nursing home and has said that she will move gram and not tell anyone where she is. Is this legal? Her previous orders to all administration was that nobody was allowed information about my grams condition. I'm starting to wonder if there is something that she's trying to hide. She is phony and rarely visits until recently when all the other siblings started showing up. It's all an act, she mean and demanding, ordering staff and everyone else around. My mom doesn't care about any assets (not that there are any). She just wants to spend the last days at her mother's bedside!

HELP!!!

 

[momm2500]

who has the MEDICAL power of attorney? that is different than just power of attorney. Medical or durable medical power of attorney gives that individual the power over the care of the person. regular power of attorney has the authority over the financial assets. contact the nursing home and see what they have on record on who is permitted to make decisions on her care. Hospice care is for someone who has less than 6 months to live. i think it is impossible to prevent your mother from visiting, but check with the nursing home to see if anything is listed in their records!

 

[worried in illi]

Preventing Visitation

Thanks for the quick reply! I appreciate your time very much.

I wasn't aware of the differences and I will certainly have that checked out. The diagnosis is up to 4 months due to lung cancer; she also has alzheimer's.

I feel it's God's will as to our date of expiration and she should be cared for as if she's a human being and not some rotting vegetable that everyone just stares at. When mom is present she sings to her, reads to her, cracks jokes with her and gets her somehow to talk, respond, smile and laugh. She's still in there and there are glimpses when you work with her and make her feel comfortable. She eats well, is thirsty and has appetite. Whenever that snapping ninja turtle comes in barking at everyone, gram retreats back into the land of odd. So frustrating!

So in either situation financial vs medical is it legal to ban visitation with a family member? How difficult is it to fight to get this power of attorney changed over? My mom wants to fight for her mother and the right to be with her.

 

[missingyou]

YES i am going thru a similar situation. The person with a power of attorney can inform the staff at the home not to allow anyone to see them. We were thrown out a rehab center and told they would call the police if we tried to visit him again....

Make sure you lay out your plans before something happens to you, you never know what the person you put in charge will do!! there are documents you can have drawn up with your wishes regarding visitation etcc.

Good luck

 

[BlondiePB]

Thanks for the quick reply! I appreciate your time very much.

I wasn't aware of the differences and I will certainly have that checked out. The diagnosis is up to 4 months due to lung cancer; she also has alzheimer's.

I feel it's God's will as to our date of expiration and she should be cared for as if she's a human being and not some rotting vegetable that everyone just stares at. When mom is present she sings to her, reads to her, cracks jokes with her and gets her somehow to talk, respond, smile and laugh. She's still in there and there are glimpses when you work with her and make her feel comfortable. She eats well, is thirsty and has appetite. Whenever that snapping ninja turtle comes in barking at everyone, gram retreats back into the land of odd. So frustrating!

So in either situation financial vs medical is it legal to ban visitation with a family member? How difficult is it to fight to get this power of attorney changed over? My mom wants to fight for her mother and the right to be with her.

Not only can the POA ban visitation by your mother, the POA can put a restraining order on your mother.

I strongly suggest your mom makes amends with the POA so your mom can spend whatever time she can with granny.