Sister has hijacked my mothers finances

[gcunningham23r]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? I live in NC, my sister lives in FL.
My sister who is taking care of my mother with Alzheimer's is taking over all my mothers finances. However she is not the person appointed by my parents in 2011 to take care of their finances. When my mother was still coherent she appointed my other sister as POA. The sister who is taking care of mom has managed to get the direct deposits transferred to an account in her name. She is refusing to pay mothers expenses on the house which she still owns. Meanwhile the sister is using most of my mothers money for her own expenses (not on Mom). Is there anything I can do to stop this? What kind of lawyer would I need.

 

[Zigner]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? I live in NC, my sister lives in FL.
My sister who is taking care of my mother with Alzheimer's is taking over all my mothers finances. However she is not the person appointed by my parents in 2011 to take care of their finances. When my mother was still coherent she appointed my other sister as POA. The sister who is taking care of mom has managed to get the direct deposits transferred to an account in her name. She is refusing to pay mothers expenses on the house which she still owns. Meanwhile the sister is using most of my mothers money for her own expenses (not on Mom). Is there anything I can do to stop this? What kind of lawyer would I need.

Why doesn't your other sister exercise the powers granted in the PoA?

 

[gcunningham23r]

Why doesn't your other sister exercise the powers granted in the PoA?

What powers would that be? and would we have to get a lawyer involved? Right now the greedy sister is trying to get my mothers small pension and her bank account.

 

[LdiJ]

What powers would that be? and would we have to get a lawyer involved? Right now the greedy sister is trying to get my mothers small pension and her bank account.

Then the sister with the POA needs to exercise that POA by getting the direct deposits re-routed to mom's account.

 

[commentator]

I find it awfully hard to believe your sister was able to get everything transferred to an account in her name unless she actually faked signatures or took your mother in somewhere and had her open a joint account. But is the other sister in the neighborhood? The person closest to the mother, who is immediately involved is going to pretty much have to have the POA, and if the sister who's supposed to have the POA isn't nearby, then someone else who is actively involved in her care needs to be appointed by the court if you disapprove of your sister's handling of your mother's finances.

But really, you'd certainly have to have someone or somewhere to care for her, and that would be sucking away the money too. Are you positive that your sister who's caring for your mother is really misusing her funds? Are you prepared to have your sister completely booted out, no longer caring for her and you will have to have caregivers or put her in a care facility? This would cost a pretty good sum. How much do you think it would be reasonable to pay her to care for your mother? You and your siblings need to get together about this.

 

[gcunningham23r]

My mother has been declared incompetent by doctors, but that didn't stop my sister from coaching her threw getting her SS & VA benefits transferred to a joint account (with mom & sister). I do have proof that she was using my mothers credit card for expenses that were not mom's. I can only assume she is continuing in this practice, especially since she is asking us for money to pay mom medical expenses. I took care of mom for 5 months and never had to pay anything because medicare and her supplemental covered everything. Is what my sister is doing illegal?

 

[anteater]

Is what my sister is doing illegal?

Probably.

As someone asked before, what is the sister who holds power of attorney doing? Is it a durable power of attorney?

 

[single317dad]

My mother has been declared incompetent by doctors

Has a court declared her incompetent? Is there just a POA, or is there a guardianship?

 

[commentator]

I also repeat my question. Do you think your sister should take care of your mother free of charge? What are her circumstances? My sister in law, which she assumed the care of my mother, paid herself for expenses she claimed that she incurred and time she spent caring for my mother from my mother's bank account. At first, I was pretty steamed about that, but then on reflection, since neither I nor my brother could be there to do her care for free, and would've had to pay someone else to care for her, it seemed more reasonable. I think you and your siblings need to have a serious discussion about these issues before you start legal processes that will cause lifelong hard feelings between you.

 

[gcunningham23r]

Sister hijacked mom's finances

To answer everyone's question. The good sister holds a fiduciary POA and is presently taking no action against the greedy sister. The greedy sister was being paid $1600 mo. plus actual expenses to care for mom. However now she has mom's total income, and refuses to pay mom's other expenses like taxes, elec, water, yard maintenance etc. If the greedy sister has obtained a guardianship would that change things? As in - would she now have legal precedence to control all mom's finances? If she obtained this guardianship through the court (I'm guessing) would the court not have to contact us?
If the good sister with the POA called SS & VA and got the direct deposits back in the right account, how would we prevent the greedy sister from doing the same thing again. The greedy sister coached mom through phone calls to get all this changed.

 

[commentator]

In an earlier post you mentioned something about "now she is asking us for money to pay medical expenses for our mother" so that leads one to believe you are still speaking to the evil sister. So what did she say when you asked her to pay the bills from your mother's account? If she said there was not enough money in the account, did you ask her if she has a POA now? What did she say when you asked her if she now has guardianship? What did she say when you asked her why she is using her mother's money to pay this or that expense of hers?

Is she living in the house with your mother? If so, why would she want to live in a house without electricity, water, etc.? Is your mother doing so? If this is the case, she is physically neglecting your mother, as well as financially abusing her, and the authorities in their state of residence need to be involved immediately. But still, I believe that before you come at her with all legal guns blazing, you AND the "good sister" who has POA but seems avoidant should confront and discuss this whole issue with the evil sister. Threaten her if you will. But this pussyfooting around assuming she's got your mother's money into her own bank accounts, wondering if she's gone to court without notifying you needs to be addressed. Then at least you'll have a much better idea what sort of intervention you need to make. By the way, why didn't you get POA, and where is your "good sister" on this issue?

 

[gcunningham23r]

We are not talking to the greedy sister, just emailing. So if my good sister talks with VA & SS and get the deposits back in the right bank, what can she do to make sure the greedy sister doesn't try to change it back?

 

[anteater]

We are not talking to the greedy sister, just emailing. So if my good sister talks with VA & SS and get the deposits back in the right bank, what can she do to make sure the greedy sister doesn't try to change it back?

Maybe your good sister should ask that question of the the VA & SSA. Ya think?

 

[SandiBeach]

Can't legally happen.

Maybe your good sister should ask that question of the the VA & SSA. Ya think?

I have been DPOA for my mom for over a year now. Just redid the works with my mom and dad.

Your sister cannot legally take control of your mom's finances. If the bank is letting her, they need to be reported.
My mom was saving her money over the past few years and wanted me to have it. I took my DPOA into the bank and had my name added only as DPOA.
Her money is in an account that is safe since the majority of it disappeared! I think my brother was a big influence over my dad and had him illegally take out the funds from her account before I became DPOA.
She gets her ss check direct deposited into her account and I transfer the funds into mine. It's only 700.00 per month but enough to pay for most of what she wants or needs. I take care of the rest.
I do know the vice president of the bank well since she was a teller when I first had a checking/savings account there. She told me that me and only me can take the funds out or transfer them. (mom has dementia now and cannot handle any of this). I know since my dad tried to do the same with her account again and found out he couldn't.
The sister with DPOA can stop her asap. Even if it's just POA. Durable is for health. Something I also needed since my brother wanted to put my mom in a medicaid home forever and I promised her that I would let her come live with me.
My dad now sees the error of his ways in listening to my brother and does agree with me. He also knows that he might have to come her to stay with her.
I have gone through and am going through a nightmare with my brother and sister-in-law. The yelling, the horrible name calling, etc. And all I do is take care of them as best as I can. Don't take the time to see my daughter and grand daughter (4) very much since it is a full time job. But I feel since they raised me, care for me when I couldn't, that is the least I can do when they need me the most.
But do tell your sister who has DPOA to take control. Some siblings are just out for what they can get. Hard to believe but so true.
My mother-in-law died a year ago yesterday. My hubby has 2 younger brothers. She had an estate and yet he had no problems at all. Great brothers and seems very hard to find nowadays.
Good luck and I sure hope everything works out the way it was intended too.