Step-Mother's POA and Dad's Assets

[FlaMomX3]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Mo/Fl
My father's (in Missouri) 74 yrs. old, in a wheelchair, diabetic, and increasingly suffering from dementia. His wife--my stepmother of 35 years (she just turned 60)--just informed his 7 adult children of the following:
1. She is suing for divorce, and both of their houses are in her name,
2. She is going to put him into a nursing home,
3. She is going to liquify his $300,000 stocks/assets to pay for his nursing home, and
4. The house they share (that she says is in her name) will be sold upon his death, and divided equally as our inheritance.

She has power of attorney because of his dementia; however there are missing assets and I believe she has taken them. We are working class children of his first marriage, but we want to take care of him in his own home--where he currently lives, and my sister is offering to move in with him, and care for him until he dies. However stepmom says the house is in her name, and she's putting him out so she can marry someone else. The attorney we tried to hire asked for a $5000 retainer, and $190 per hr. to begin the process of revoking her p.o.a., but we don't have that kind of money. Can we go to the divorce hearing and ask the judge to look into the missing assets and investigate her handling of his money? We believe she's trying to steal from him (he just sold a house he owned by himself in 2003), and we want him to be cared for at home--even if it costs a lot of money. But none of us has a home that can accommodate his multiple disabilities.
Suggestions, help, please?

 

[Texas Pooh]

Dad needs a lawyer, like yesterday (as frequently said on these boards).

The court will not independently investigate anything; the court only rules on what is presented to it by the lawyers and parties. Thus, Dad's lawyer needs to do the investigation and ask the Court for appropriate relief.

If Dad has assets, they can by used to hire the lawyer. There are various motions that can be filed to seize those assets and use them to fund the lawyer. The lawyer should be willing to work with you on this. If he's not, find another lawyer.

A warning, however - this will be very expensive litigation, and complicated as well. You need to make very sure that you have competent, trustworthy counsel. Make sure you check references and investigate the lawyer you choose.

Good luck.

 

[Dandy Don]

So get a fee quote from more than one attorney, and are you using a family law attorney? Inquire about whether you would need to get guardianship in order to gain control of the assets.

 

[FlaMomX3]

Response to TexasPooh RE: Hiring A Lawyer, Etc.

TexasPooh:
Thanks for the advice; this is what we're trying to do at this point. However, the stepmother has already put whatever assets he had into her name, including the house where he lives. The two attorneys we've talked to (in STL, where he lives) wanted $5,000 and $3,000 retainers, respectively, before they started work on the case. His only assets at this point are some stock investments, which the stepmom says are in his name--and which she intends to "liquify" (with her "power of attorney") to pay for the nursing home she has selected for him.

IF we try to seize these assets (to pay for the lawyers), and we lose in court regarding his home and the missing money from the sale of an earlier home, he will have even less money to live independently with my sister (which is the intended objective), nor will there be any money left to pay for the nursing home (which we desperately want to avoid).

Is there anything we can do to stop her before she files for divorce and puts him out of his home (which has recently been put under her name)? And thanks for your sage counsel so far.

 

[Dandy Don]

Call a local social services government agency and/or the police to talk to a caseworker or anyone who knows about elderly financial abuse which seems to be what has happened here. It sounds like you have enough evidence to proceed with filing charges against her and you may not even need an attorney for that if you use the police/district attorney instead. At least an initial consultation with a family law attorney may be free or very inexpensive and would get your questions answered. You could even do a GOOGLE search using the phrases "ELDER FINANCIAL ABUSE" and "TEXAS" (put both of them in the search box at the same time) to see what comes up.

If she got the POA signed during or after a time when it can be determined by his medical records that he had already been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, then her POA is illegal and if she doesn't provide an accounting for the money she got she can be charged with abuse of POA if your state has laws against such.

DANDY DON IN OKLAHOMA ([email protected])

 

[Zigner]

Ok, let's boil it down. Dad is in declining health (for lack of a better term right now). His health is such that he ought to be cared for by professionals (he's been married to this woman for 35 years...she probably knows his thoughts on this). SM is going to use dad's assets to pay for dad's care at the nursing home. The house will be sold upon his death and the proceeds (as well as any remaining assets) will be divided equally between his children.

The children would rather care for dad outside of a nursing home so that dad's assets are not used to pay for said nursing home, thus leaving MORE for them when the time comes to split said assets up between the children.

Yes, speak to a lawyer...you might have to put some money IN to the investment before you see a return on it though...

 

[BlondiePB]

Ok, let's boil it down. Dad is in declining health (for lack of a better term right now). His health is such that he ought to be cared for by professionals (he's been married to this woman for 35 years...she probably knows his thoughts on this). SM is going to use dad's assets to pay for dad's care at the nursing home. The house will be sold upon his death and the proceeds (as well as any remaining assets) will be divided equally between his children.

After 35 years of marriage, who the heck would know better than a spouse what are one's wants and wishes?

The children would rather care for dad outside of a nursing home so that dad's assets are not used to pay for said nursing home, thus leaving MORE for them when the time comes to split said assets up between the children.

The answer that question, Zigner, must be the greedlings.

 

[Texas Pooh]

Zigner and BlondiePB -

I don't disagree that the children's motives are subject to question and certainly have high greedling potential ... but the issue of the divorce and the recent asset transfers by stepmother concern me. Dad needs his own lawyer for that. Unfortunately, it sounds like Dad may be trapped between competing greedlings.

OP,

the retainer amounts you've been quoted sound appropriate to me. You and your brothers and sisters may need to front the money to protect your Dad. To answer your specific question, no, there is nothing short of hiring a lawyer that you can do.

 

[BlondiePB]

Zigner and BlondiePB -

I don't disagree that the children's motives are subject to question and certainly have high greedling potential ... but the issue of the divorce and the recent asset transfers by stepmother concern me. Dad needs his own lawyer for that. Unfortunately, it sounds like Dad may be trapped between competing greedlings.

OP,

the retainer amounts you've been quoted sound appropriate to me. You and your brothers and sisters may need to front the money to protect your Dad. To answer your specific question, no, there is nothing short of hiring a lawyer that you can do.

Perhaps the OP can hold the will up to the monitor so that we can all read it.

It is possible that the dad here could have a guardian ad litem appointed for the divorce via request of the poster asking the court.

 

[tranquility]

IF we try to seize these assets (to pay for the lawyers), and we lose in court regarding his home and the missing money from the sale of an earlier home, he will have even less money to live independently with my sister (which is the intended objective), nor will there be any money left to pay for the nursing home (which we desperately want to avoid).

From the facts presented, I see no reason why he should pay for an attorney. None. I see no reason why *he* would want an attorney. I see why potential heirs would, but not the father.

See an attorney, but pay for it yourself. You may get something from the eventual estate, but I wouldn't bet on it. Let his wife of over three decades decide what happens. She's the one with the most at stake.

 

[Dandy Don]

The only thing that has been left unstated is exactly HOW they are going to care for him outside of a nursing home. Is one of the children going to take him into his/her home?