What type of contract or document is needed to have security?

[peggybean]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC
I live in NC. I am a widow of a veteran and receive many benefits; this is why I choose not to get married. I have dated the same man for over 13 years now. We both own our own homes and have our own properties. There is nothing we own together. This man is almost 30 years my senior and has 3 children that also live in NC. We realize the chances are that he will pass or need a care giver before me. He is healthy and capable of taking care of all of his affairs at this time in his life. Our problem is the few times he has ended up in the hospital his children make it not only difficult but VERY uncomfortable for me to visit, see and take care of him. We have discussed our options, but we are researching our legal options. There must be contracts or POA’s that would give me rights that they would NOT be able to fight. That would allow me to help with his care even though I am not next of kin. I am looking for rights that allow doctors to inter act with me on decision making. And something that could stop the children from harassing me should (which it will) it happen. I need to know where to start looking and what type of documents that will legally hold up in the state of NC. He has offered to put me in his will leaving me 25%. This is considerate of him, but I am most concern that if he needs my help I am able to give it. God forbid he were not able to make his own decisions at this point these children would not let me even near him. What can we do to give me security in our future since we do not want to marry and are not living together?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[seniorjudge]

Controlling people is very difficult.

However, if you have your friend write a letter stating his wishes, maybe that would help.

If, for example, he wants you to visit in the hospital, he should clearly spell it out. Carry it with you when you go to the hospital when he's in there and ask if the hospital will honor it.

 

[peggybean]

what does it mean to have a horse kept on the flat?

Looking for type of contract or documents needed, would prefer someone with experience answer

Controling is not what we want to do. Make sure they will leave me be if my friend is unable to speak for himself is what we want. We do not want to wait for the time to arrive to find out a letter will do not good. We figured we would need some legal document ahead of time. Surely someone else has dealt with difficult children before?

 

[seniorjudge]

Q: what does it mean to have a horse kept on the flat?

A: When a hunter is on the flat, it means they are not doing any jumps, just rail work.

 

[peggybean]

Would prefer to have someone with experience anwser questions not just giving thought

Controling is not what we want to do. Make sure they will leave me be if my friend is unable to speak for himself is what we want. We do not want to wait for the time to arrive to find out a letter will do not good. We figured we would need some legal document ahead of time. Surely someone else has dealt with difficult children before?

 

[seniorjudge]

We figured we would need some legal document ahead of time. Surely someone else has dealt with difficult children before?

I have tons of experience.

It tells me that all the legal documents in the world will do nothing.

If you wish, have the letter that I advised you to get notarized. That will make it look more official.

The health care provider won't have to pay any attention to it. But you can try.

You're looking for a miracle cure and there is none.

 

[aanubis]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC
I live in NC. I am a widow of a veteran and receive many benefits; this is why I choose not to get married. I have dated the same man for over 13 years now. We both own our own homes and have our own properties. There is nothing we own together. This man is almost 30 years my senior and has 3 children that also live in NC. We realize the chances are that he will pass or need a care giver before me. He is healthy and capable of taking care of all of his affairs at this time in his life. Our problem is the few times he has ended up in the hospital his children make it not only difficult but VERY uncomfortable for me to visit, see and take care of him. We have discussed our options, but we are researching our legal options. There must be contracts or POA’s that would give me rights that they would NOT be able to fight. That would allow me to help with his care even though I am not next of kin. I am looking for rights that allow doctors to inter act with me on decision making. And something that could stop the children from harassing me should (which it will) it happen. I need to know where to start looking and what type of documents that will legally hold up in the state of NC. He has offered to put me in his will leaving me 25%. This is considerate of him, but I am most concern that if he needs my help I am able to give it. God forbid he were not able to make his own decisions at this point these children would not let me even near him. What can we do to give me security in our future since we do not want to marry and are not living together?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Ahhh you are wanting all the benefits of being married and yet not be married. His children are his legal next of kin and you don't have any rights period. Marry the guy and it's all turned around. You are then legal next of kin and the children have no rights.

Look into health care surrogate paperwork. Forget something contrived that is notarized, very doubtful anyone would do more than fold it back up. Or, back to paragraph above and marry the guy.