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Thread: Can I sue my ex-girlfriend for lost wages, stalking and harassment?

  1. #1
    jremmy is offline Junior Member
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    Can I sue my ex-girlfriend for lost wages, stalking and harassment?

    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA.

    I lived with my ex -who is about ten years older than me and makes a lot more money- for a few years during which she aborted our child without me asking her to do so, caused me to lose my business (which is why I left her and moved about 50 miles away), and it was a very abusive relationship that psychologically destroyed me. After the relationship we strung it out a bit, but eventually I totally cut her off and got on with my life. After that she stalked and harassed me for a few years, during which I repeatedly told her to leave me alone... The last time she called to harass me was about three months before she started dating my cousin and showing up at my family parties, and pretty quickly got pregnant by him... She's great at playing the victim and making me look like the bad guy, which is how she's won the affection of some of my family.

    Now if I want to see my family I also have to see my crazy ex. They didn't know she was abusive and crazy before this because I never had a reason to tell them, because I didn't think they would start inviting her to everything.

    So, can I sue her? Or maybe get a restraining order? I've probably lost around $100,000 in wages in the last four years due to losing that business. I have been working but the business was a very good situation and I've been stuck in a dead end job (with second jobs) for years now.
  2. #2
    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by jremmy View Post
    What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA.

    I lived with my ex -who is about ten years older than me and makes a lot more money- for a few years during which she aborted our child without me asking her to do so, caused me to lose my business (which is why I left her and moved about 50 miles away), and it was a very abusive relationship that psychologically destroyed me.
    1. She didn't need your permission.

    2. Please explain how this caused you to lose your business?

    After the relationship we strung it out a bit, but eventually I totally cut her off and got on with my life. After that she stalked and harassed me for a few years, during which I repeatedly told her to leave me alone... The last time she called to harass me was about three months before she started dating my cousin and showing up at my family parties, and pretty quickly got pregnant by him... She's great at playing the victim and making me look like the bad guy, which is how she's won the affection of some of my family.
    So she's dating your cousin. Okay.


    Now if I want to see my family I also have to see my crazy ex. They didn't know she was abusive and crazy before this because I never had a reason to tell them, because I didn't think they would start inviting her to everything.

    So, can I sue her? Or maybe get a restraining order? I've probably lost around $100,000 in wages in the last four years due to losing that business. I have been working but the business was a very good situation and I've been stuck in a dead end job (with second jobs) for years now.

    Sue her for what?

    Why is this her fault?
  3. #3
    CdwJava is offline Senior Member
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    Given the time frame - at least four years - I'd say a lawsuit is right out.

    As for a restraining order, is she threatening or harassing you in some way? Have you reported her stalking, threats or harassment to the police?

    Bad breakups and psycho exes are not usually grounds for a lawsuit or a restraining order.

    If you really think you have a good claim for some sort of ongoing harm, consult an attorney.
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    sandyclaus is offline Senior Member
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    Does anyone else see the humor and irony in the misplacement of this thread in the "Environmental and Toxic Torts" section???

    And I'm not buying the girlfriend's liability for the loss of the business sue to the fact that she chose to have an abortion. Her personal choices should have had nothing to do with how his business was run.

    It seems to me that what destroyed his business was his own inability to handle his own non-business-related matters in a mature and emotionally healthy manner. You keep your business life and personal life separate. If he was unable to do that, its no one's fault buy his own.
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  5. #5
    Zigner is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by sandyclaus View Post
    Does anyone else see the humor and irony in the misplacement of this thread in the "Environmental and Toxic Torts" section???

    And I'm not buying the girlfriend's liability for the loss of the business sue to the fact that she chose to have an abortion. Her personal choices should have had nothing to do with how his business was run.

    It seems to me that what destroyed his business was his own inability to handle his own non-business-related matters in a mature and emotionally healthy manner. You keep your business life and personal life separate. If he was unable to do that, its no one's fault buy his own.
    I think the OP worded his post badly. I don't think the abortion was the cause of the loss of his business. Granted, that's how it was written above, but I think that can be chalked up to poor writing skills. Ironically, poor writing skills my also be a factor in the loss of the business.
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  6. #6
    OHRoadwarrior is offline Senior Member
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    You have no case. I hope the sex was worth it.
  7. #7
    jremmy is offline Junior Member
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    Thank you for answering and I will do my best to clarify, as I really need to see what i can do here... If there's nothing, so be it. Just need to see because... well she's a psycho and should have stayed away from me after all the times I told her to lol. I think kicking my cousin's ass for dating her would also help me feel better but I don't want to go to jail. Wouldn't return all my lost income or all the time and money I spent in therapy because of this chick, but it would make me feel better lol.

    Going to say this now, I'm unfamiliar with how the forum quote system works, so I'm just going to take it out to answer your questions.

    1. She didn't need your permission.
    I am aware of this. Included this because I feel it is possible grounds for a lawsuit for emotional distress, provided the fact that she later then started coming to my family parties and got pregnant by my cousin, even after I repeatedly told her to stay away from me and stop contacting me before she ever started dating him and showing up to my family's parties.

    2. Please explain how this caused you to lose your business?
    The abortion did not cause me to lose the business. I was just listing the reasons why I might have a case. I lost my business long after the abortion. When I lost the business it was in it's fledgling state without a developed clientele. We were living together and she couldn't handle me going to work so she went nuts on me to the point where I could no longer live with her. Unfortunately I couldn't afford to live anywhere near my job yet so I had to move away.


    So she's dating your cousin. Okay.




    Sue her for what?
    Emotional distress and lost wages due to abuse... Sorry if this says some other section. When I selected which section to post in there was no exact match for my subject and this one said "all other subjects" or something like that.
    Why is this her fault?
    Losing the business? Because there is not way that I could have continued living with her and i had no place to live so I had to abandon the business... I realize someone else might not have lost the business and would have slept in their car or something and ate out of dumpsters, but hey, I'm human. I have a limit on how much stress I can tolerate before I lose it... Nonetheless, she should have stayed away from me after all the times she called and screamed at me over the years, for things that had nothing to do with her, like she heard I set foot in the city she lived in and things like that.
    Last edited by jremmy; 05-07-2013 at 07:55 PM.
  8. #8
    jremmy is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zigner View Post
    I think the OP worded his post badly. I don't think the abortion was the cause of the loss of his business. Granted, that's how it was written above, but I think that can be chalked up to poor writing skills. Ironically, poor writing skills my also be a factor in the loss of the business.
    Thank you for clarifying that the abortion was not the cause of the loss of my business. As far as writing skills, my line of business doesn't require much writing skill. My bad for listing three items divided by commas. I can understand how it wasn't clear.
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    jremmy is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by OHRoadwarrior View Post
    You have no case. I hope the sex was worth it.
    I've had better. Was thinking maybe I should just print up some of the naked pictures I have of her and handing them to my cousin at the next family function... Come to think of it, Is that illegal?
  10. #10
    xylene is offline Senior Member
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    I think you make yourself a victim. Almost every single day

    Quote Originally Posted by jremmy View Post
    =....
    Losing the business? Because there is not way that I could have continued living with her and i had no place to live so I had to abandon the business... I realize someone else might not have lost the business and would have slept in their car or something and ate out of dumpsters, but hey, I'm human. I have a limit on how much stress I can tolerate before I lose it... Nonetheless, she should have stayed away from me after all the times she called and screamed at me over the years, for things that had nothing to do with her, like she heard I set foot in the city she lived in and things like that.
    If the business was so successful how come you didn't just move?

    Why did you take her calls?

    You are a total psycho. So long!
  11. #11
    jremmy is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by CdwJava View Post
    Given the time frame - at least four years - I'd say a lawsuit is right out.

    As for a restraining order, is she threatening or harassing you in some way? Have you reported her stalking, threats or harassment to the police?

    Bad breakups and psycho exes are not usually grounds for a lawsuit or a restraining order.

    If you really think you have a good claim for some sort of ongoing harm, consult an attorney.
    So, the outright harassment continued until September of 2011. She was dating my cousin by December of 2011, as far as I know... There was one time where I had to call the police, but it was a few years ago. She called me 20 or so times in one night and left all kinds of crazy messages... I do have witnesses for that event and for the event in September of 2011.
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    Proserpina is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by jremmy View Post
    I've had better. Was thinking maybe I should just print up some of the naked pictures I have of her and handing them to my cousin at the next family function... Come to think of it, Is that illegal?


    She's not the one coming across as psycho.
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  13. #13
    jremmy is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by sandyclaus View Post
    Does anyone else see the humor and irony in the misplacement of this thread in the "Environmental and Toxic Torts" section???

    And I'm not buying the girlfriend's liability for the loss of the business sue to the fact that she chose to have an abortion. Her personal choices should have had nothing to do with how his business was run.

    It seems to me that what destroyed his business was his own inability to handle his own non-business-related matters in a mature and emotionally healthy manner. You keep your business life and personal life separate. If he was unable to do that, its no one's fault buy his own.
    The posting section classifier said something along the lines of "all other" for this section. None of the other sections matched, making this the closest match... As far as your other comments, see Zigner's clarification.
  14. #14
    jremmy is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Proserpina View Post
    She's not the one coming across as psycho.
    After all the crazy screaming calls over the years and then banging my cousin, i beg to differ. The only reason I still even have access to the pictures is because my other cousin stole my hard drive a few years back and they're logged somewhere on his computer now.
  15. #15
    cbg
    cbg is offline Senior Member
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    Nothing you have yet posted gives you cause for legal action.
    Two things I am tired of typing: 1.) A wrongful termination does not mean that you were fired for something you didn't do; it means that you were fired for a reason prohibited by law. 2.) The above answer, whatever it is, assumes that no legally binding contract or CBA expressly says otherwise. If it does, the terms of the contract apply.

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