Am I being taken?

I live in Wisconsin. I have been seeing a woman now for about 4 months. She tells me that she is "legally seperated" but that her husband lives in the same house with her. I cannot call or visit. According to her, her attorney advised her not to have it known that she is dating because it COULD negatively affect the outcome of the divorce where her children and spousal support are concerned. Is that a possibilty even though Wisconsin is a no-fault state? How can I check on the validity of her story. I want to just trust what she tells me but my own child is now involved in her life and is becoming very close to her. I need to know before this goes any further and everytime I bring it up to her she says "I am not going to tell you about it. If I do, and I lose my children over it then for the rest of my life it will be on my mind that it was my fault that I lost them. Your free to check on your own but no, I can't tell you specifics"....according to her, she is afraid that if this gets out that she runs the risk of losing all. I know there is a lot of money at stake as well as three children. Am I a fool for believeing a word of it? Her main fear is that her and I break up for some reason and I go back to her husband, or as she calls him, soon to be "X" therby creating a problem in the final determination of everything. Please respond if you know what your talking about or you can lead me in the direction as to where I can check out the whole story on my own.

If she has filed for divorce, this is a matter of public record. Check the court house in the county where she lives. Also a Private Investigator will be able to tell you everything you need to know. If it is known that she is seeing someone before the divorce is final, yes she could lose her alimony.

Ky is a no-fault divorce state as well. Having an affair cancels out alimony. This usually does not apply to custody in no-fault divorce. If you know an attorney there he can give you all the legistics on divorce for your state and verify if she's telling you the truth.

She may be afraid if her husband knew about you, that he would tell the kids you broke up their marriage and the kids would hate you and be mad at her.

This is personal advice, not legal... but with an impending legal action, custody or other action.. maybe it would be best to take a step back and wait to see what happens. This sort of environment is not the best ingrediants to a good relationship.