back support and child support

Hi. My husband has recently been served a summons for paternity and support from a woman he had a brief relationship with in the past. The child is 3 years old, and the mother has been receiving welfare and state medicaid ever since she was born. She only decided it was time for him to know when the welfare dept started telling her that if she didn't give the fathers name that she would no longer receive benefits. So, now we know.

My husband has no problem with the legal obligation to this child. His problem is he will now be required to pay back all the welfare she received. She told him "you have to do what you have to do, they wouldn't give me benefits, etc..." . So, we are planning to have the DNA test done and then pay who knows how much for back support and the future support.

Now, she called and says she really didn't want to take him to court and she just wants to give the child a last name. And a reasonable amount a month for support. She no longer wants to go thru the courts. We think it is because she was lying about her financial situation and knows we will bring it up. Why should we pay for her fraud?? I told my husband that we will go thru the courts. She wanted this and now we are gonna have to do it this way.

I also told him that even if she doesn't go to court when supposed to that they will try to come after him since she named him the father. What should we do? She is being a bit odd now. We are waiting to get in to see a lawyer, but any advice right now for us? what happens if she does not show, are we still obligated to pay all the welfare back? please help!

Your husband needs to go through the courts.....there are so many women out there who will pick just any man and name him the father to collect support. Sounds like she's back talking.....could be because she is not sure who the father is. Since they were not married and she is just now bringing this up, your husband will be granted the right to DNA test. The court will order this due to the circumstances. After a court order is given, if she refuses to show she will be held in contempt and possibly thrown in jail.

After the DNA test results are in and he is not the father your attorney can request she pay for the test as well as attorney fee's you have incurred.

If he is the father, then your husband will need his tax returns for the last three yrs. so they can evaluate what his arrears are. They will then take a percentage of what he makes now for current support. In most states a request for increase can be done once a year (some every 2-3 yrs.). So if she feels he has gotten a raise, you will be back in court. It's a never ending cycle. There are web sites on Child Support that you can go into and enter your State and actually calculate what his current support would be. Then there is the issue of Medical insurance, your husband could be ordered to maintain this for the child as well as pay a % of what the insurance doesn't cover. He will also be responsible for a % of day care expenses.

As far as arrears go (if he is the father) if she has been on assistance, then your husband will owe the state welfare office the amount they have paid out, if the arrears totals more than what is owed to welfare, the remaining will go to this woman. Any remainng amount can be negotiated, if this woman is willing. She can sign a paper through your attorney stating she does not want arrears......but this is doubtful. Not many are going to say no to collecting several thousand dollars....especially if they don't have it. If she has not been on assistance.....she gets it all if she wants it.....or she can refuse it....as far as arrears go, after the state gets theirs....the ball is in her court.

Above all else.....DOCUMENT EVERYTHING....it will be to your benefit. Too many women use the system to put the screws to these dads....even when they are trying to do the right thing.

I know all of this hasn't really eased your mind....it doesn't the rest of us either who live it. I do wish you the best of luck.

Maybe this child won't be his....then the battle is over.

Good Luck and God Bless.

Paula

Here's a question on the same note - I was just informed that my ex's child support did not START until the first order was made in court. Meaning, back support is paid from that day on. I was on state assistance for the 6 weeks I was off work after having my daughter, and I think it continued maybe another month. The state is getting their money back - I haven't received a dime of support yet. He has been ordered to pay 2X the amount I received on state assistance. Why am I not going to get support from the day she was born (or even just from the day I filed), but the state is getting their money back?? Plus, when on state assistance (called FIP in the state of Michigan), I would have gotten the first $50 of child support and the state would have gotten the rest. Now that I am NOT on assistance, and could use the money but don't absolutely NEED it, I'm not getting anything until the state get's theirs. This doesn't make sense to me. I don't want to really press hard on the issue of getting support from at least Jan. when I filed, because my daughter's father has agreed to pay and not see or form a relationship with our daughter, and then allow my future husband (when there is one) to adopt her. I think that's very kind of him in a way and don't want to do anything to make him change his mind. I am even asking the friend of the court to take the money owed for her birth off his current amount ordered, rather than add even $10 a week on to it so that it doesn't get him all pissed off (he already pays almost $800 a month which is a lot more than we need in my opinion). Anyway, any insight would help here. If anyone can explain why bringing a father into the picture 3 years after the fact would get you support from the day of birth and having him in the picture the whole time doesn't get you support until it finally makes it to court (in my case that was 5 months after birth - and at $636, which is his set amount a month without back support from May, that's a lot of money), it would be appreciated.

Each state has different laws on this issue. I am currently dealing with 3 states. In Ky the support does not take effect until a court order is issued. In tennessee if the judge chooses he can order back support if you are found to be the father and order you to pay medical bills for the delivery. Tennessee has yet to update their support laws. Most other states have.

Were you married to this man? It is possible that after the state gets their money, you can file for them to collect the rest for you. This of course will upset him. In the arrearage case we are dealing with in TN, CSS there told us that if the child was my husbands and the woman had not been on assistance that she could refuse arrearages and the slate would be wiped clean. If she had been on assistance the amount owed the state would have to be paid first and if she did not want the remainder that was up to her.

I hope this man doesn't change his mind about not having a relationship and letting someone else adopt this child. You never know what someone will do down the road.

Good luck and God bless.