BirthCertificate&Paternity

Ok, I have a question and please give me serious answers only. I live in LA I had an affair and gave birth to another mans child other than my husband. My husbands name is on the birth certificate, my question is can I go after the biological father for support because I feel since my husband and decided to stay together that he should not be responsible for support, will I even have a case against this other guy even with my husbands name is on the certificate?/Or will he be held liable. Please help I need answers.

Yes and yes.

Please Help

Does the other man know about the child ?..

I have mixed answers to this question. If the man does not know about the child, then I would say leave well alone and spare yourself the pain of 18 years of crap and court action... the pain of seeing your child being taken away by the other man for visitation, the pain of seeing your husband having to deal nicely with a man who slept with his wife and fathered a child with her.

But.. Statistics shows that the chance of you two staying together for the next 18 years and living a long and happy life together are small. Therefore, if the day comes that you split, your current hubby will probably refuse to support the child. So you will have to notify the father. At this point he has lost x number of years opportunity to build a relationship with the child... you will have robbed him of that chance.

So.. you need to first prove that the other man is the father, get a court to order the change on the b/c, file for custody of the child, file for child support and then wait to see if the father petitions for visitation. At which point, some time in the future he will be taking the child from you for week long visitations..

I really need some serious help!! when I was 13yrs old, I gave birth to my daughter(the father wasn't around for the birth even though he knew he had a baby on the way). My mom helped me take care of her, but then my mom passed away when she was 6mos old. The father of my baby was about 18 or 19 at the time of conceiving.My baby's birth records shows no father.her grandmom(father's mom)started helping me with her. she told me she would help me out because she owned a daycare.i thought, sure no problem. my baby remained with them (her aunt's,grandmom)even til this day she is now 16yrs old. i am now 29yrs old,she have a little sister and brother which are mine and live with me. before i was moving from friend to friend house. i even lived with my baby under the same roof as the other family. i even tried to established a relationship with her father, but that turned out very abusive after 31/2 years of my life,i got the courage to leave.her aunt and grandmom put me on child support even though i was doing what ever i can for her. i was always in her life. always giving her money, buying her things she needed,never missed a birthday,christmas,school supplies. but the courts put me in jail and ordered me to pay almost $7,000. why isn't the father paying? the father's mom claim he pays, but how could he if there wasn't a dna requested? and if it was requested, shouldn't they had notify me? i was just recently trying to move my daughter with me,or visit me, but her grandmom said she don't want to go. but that is not what my daughter is telling me.my biggest question is do i have any rights to my daughter, and can i get her to come with me to live with her brother and sister.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by sunshin:
[b]I really need some serious help!! when I was 13yrs old, I gave birth to my daughter(the father wasn't around for the birth even though he knew he had a baby on the way). My mom helped me take care of her, but then my mom passed away when she was 6mos old. The father of my baby was about 18 or 19 at the time of conceiving.My baby's birth records shows no father.her grandmom(father's mom)started helping me with her. she told me she would help me out because she owned a daycare.i thought, sure no problem. my baby remained with them (her aunt's,grandmom)even til this day she is now 16yrs old. i am now 29yrs old,she have a little sister and brother which are mine and live with me. before i was moving from friend to friend house. i even lived with my baby under the same roof as the other family. i even tried to established a relationship with her father, but that turned out very abusive after 31/2 years of my life,i got the courage to leave.her aunt and grandmom put me on child support even though i was doing what ever i can for her. i was always in her life. always giving her money, buying her things she needed,never missed a birthday,christmas,school supplies. but the courts put me in jail and ordered me to pay almost $7,000. why isn't the father paying? the father's mom claim he pays, but how could he if there wasn't a dna requested? and if it was requested, shouldn't they had notify me? i was just recently trying to move my daughter with me,or visit me, but her grandmom said she don't want to go. but that is not what my daughter is telling me.my biggest question is do i have any rights to my daughter, and can i get her to come with me to live with her brother and sister.[/b]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

i want to know, if i never gave up any rights to my daughter, but she lived with her grandmom for 16 years, does that mean i don't have custody of her? i do know that her grandmom is her guardian or at least that's what she calls herself, could there have been some changes made behind my back that i am not aware of? how can i find out, they won't tell me, they are very sneaky, and the last people you would want to cross. that's why i'm trying to play it as safe as i can. i love my daughter too much,but perfer and want her here with me

Your only option is to get an attorney and file for court ordered visitation. I am not sure that you could win physical custody with the child having been in the same home for 16 years. This is an exception to the norm of the bio parent having more rights than anyone else. So yes, you have rights, just not as many as you would normally have.

As reagrds to the father, he is not paying because he probably has no court order or was never proved to be the father.

Ok, my only question is why did u post over my post you shouldve just post a new topic, elsewhere,,sorry but i dont have any advice for you. But you didnt help me at all sunshine.

sorry MRSTINLA, this is first time i don't how to use this forum. when i seen a message almost like my situation i got carried away. REALLY I'M SORRY. i'll try to see how to work this. AGAIN I'M SORRY!!!!!!!!!!

Sunshin I am sorry about my last post I did not mean to be rude or anything by my post, I really hope you get the answers your lookin for I know your in the right place. GOOD LUCK

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrsTinLA:
[b]Ok, I have a question and please give me serious answers only. I live in LA I had an affair and gave birth to another mans child other than my husband. My husbands name is on the birth certificate, my question is can I go after the biological father for support because I feel since my husband and decided to stay together that he should not be responsible for support, will I even have a case against this other guy even with my husbands name is on the certificate?/Or will he be held liable. Please help I need answers. [/b]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I am not certain about LA, but from what I understand here on the east coast, your husband is responsible for that child, even though he is not the biological father. I have seen cases here of this nature. If the husband sticks around and raises the child as his own, and especially if he is on the birth certificate, then he becomes the father legally and financially. I would call a Family Law Attorney in your town to be sure though. There are lawyers that will offer free advice, so it couldn't hurt to check it out. I am pretty sure if you want child support from the natural father you will need to prove he is the dad, DNA test, and most likely change the birth certificate. But my opinion is that if your husband is loving enough to raise this child as his own, then leave the situation alone. It will probably do more harm than good for all involved, especially the child, to go through this...and be prepared if you do try for support, that the natural father may then want partial custody. Best wishes to you in whatever you decide. Sincerely, Claire Jane.

MrsTinLA

I had to reread your question. I could have written it myself. I'm in the same shoes. I feel the other man should be responsible for his child. You can also go through the child support enforcement agency (CSEA) in your town. They will perform the DNA testing (usually for free) and help with establishing child support.