T
Ter68
Guest
My whole divorce and child custody battle has been a disaster. The first time I went to court my attorney talked to my ex-husbands attorney. My att. then approached me and said that my ex. wanted to settle things out of court. My ex. wanted physical custody and we could share legal custody. I was VERY naive and did not understand what that meant. I asked my attorney and his exact reply was "it means they would stay more days with him, which they do already". He actd like the joint legal custody was the main issue and that the physical custody was "no big deal". See, my ex and I had worked out a schedule of sharing the kids and they were with him a little more....because their babysitter lived next door and it was more convenient. So I said okay and signed the papers before it ever went before a judge. Well, later my ex. is telling everyone that he "won" the kids...that I had signed them over to him. I panicked...I called my attorney and questioned him about the physical custody again. He assured me that it meant "nothing" and that I would still have my children on the days I was assigned. So, I let it drop. There was no order of child support at that time. Needless to say a few months later my ex. takes me to court for child support and I try to get joint physical custody. He was awarded the child support; and since nothing had "changed" since our last papers were signed the judge refused to change the physical custody order. But--get this-- even though my visitation was never questioned, somehow when I got my copy of the orders my visitation had been cut to every other weekend!!! We had been splitting the weeks and I was seeing my kids approximately 50-50. My attorney had signed this (apparently without paying too much attention to detail) and my the time I got my copy it was too late to appeal. At first my ex. was "nice" and agreed with me that it was just an error on the courts behalf and we go about sharing the children. Then.... I start dating someone and he gets vengeful. He starts refusing to let me see the children except every other weekend...citing that was what was in the court paers and that was all he had to do. My children were only 4 and 2 at the time. It was absolutely horrible for them and me to be suddenly ripped apart. I about had a complete breakdown. Anyway, I went back to the same attorney and file for increased visitation. I get together a calendar showing the days that I had the kids with me and fully believing the court system would realize their error and "punish" my ex. for doing that to the kids. Wrong. I leave court with only 2 additional days along with my weekend. I went from having my kids 50-50 to only 3 nights every two weeks!!
Next.. 9 months after we seperated I receive divorce papers from my ex. on what would have been our anniversary. This was in December... turns out my ex. had had a disposition held against me accusing me of adultry (because I had started seeing someone after we seperated) and my attorney had signed the papers agreeing to the divorce!!!!!! I was not informed of the deposition...I was not informed my husband had filed for divorce... I was not even told by my attorney that he had signed the divorce papers. The papers had been signed by a judge in October!! This was December...it was even too late to appeal the divorce. So at this point my life is ruined. He has physical custody of my children, I'm paying child support, I am hardly allowed to see my children, and I have been divorced on grounds of adultry without ever having a chance to defend myself.
Can I do anything about this attorney?? I am so distraught with the legal system.
This story goes even farthur. I hire another attorney. He assures me he will get things straightened out for me at our initial meeting. I give him a retainer and I don't hear from him at all. I start calling his office and I am told he is not "in". The next thing I know I hear through the grapevine that I didn't even bother showing up for court!! I get on the phone and after several attempts my attorney's secretary tells me that there was a mix-up. Turns out I was supposed to be in court. My attorney had showed up but had failed to tell me to be there!!! So I now look like a total incompetent fool to the judge. This was 3 years ago.. I read in the paper just last week that this attorney had been reprimaned for doing the same thng to another client.
I now have a wonderful attorney who got my child support decreased, got me the "extra" day (but which is not in my legal papers), and says he really wishes he had my case from the beginning because things would have been a lot different. Of course that doesn't change anything. I have tried twice on every ground I can think of to get my kids back...but I'm told unless my ex really "screws up" there's nothing I can do. Any suggestions??
I advise everyone out there to get an attorney, but not to just leave everything in their hands... read about divorce and child custody... ask questions.. get second opinions. I've just about ran out of hope..so don't let that happen to you.
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[This message has been edited by Ter68 (edited June 13, 2000).]
Next.. 9 months after we seperated I receive divorce papers from my ex. on what would have been our anniversary. This was in December... turns out my ex. had had a disposition held against me accusing me of adultry (because I had started seeing someone after we seperated) and my attorney had signed the papers agreeing to the divorce!!!!!! I was not informed of the deposition...I was not informed my husband had filed for divorce... I was not even told by my attorney that he had signed the divorce papers. The papers had been signed by a judge in October!! This was December...it was even too late to appeal the divorce. So at this point my life is ruined. He has physical custody of my children, I'm paying child support, I am hardly allowed to see my children, and I have been divorced on grounds of adultry without ever having a chance to defend myself.
Can I do anything about this attorney?? I am so distraught with the legal system.
This story goes even farthur. I hire another attorney. He assures me he will get things straightened out for me at our initial meeting. I give him a retainer and I don't hear from him at all. I start calling his office and I am told he is not "in". The next thing I know I hear through the grapevine that I didn't even bother showing up for court!! I get on the phone and after several attempts my attorney's secretary tells me that there was a mix-up. Turns out I was supposed to be in court. My attorney had showed up but had failed to tell me to be there!!! So I now look like a total incompetent fool to the judge. This was 3 years ago.. I read in the paper just last week that this attorney had been reprimaned for doing the same thng to another client.
I now have a wonderful attorney who got my child support decreased, got me the "extra" day (but which is not in my legal papers), and says he really wishes he had my case from the beginning because things would have been a lot different. Of course that doesn't change anything. I have tried twice on every ground I can think of to get my kids back...but I'm told unless my ex really "screws up" there's nothing I can do. Any suggestions??
I advise everyone out there to get an attorney, but not to just leave everything in their hands... read about divorce and child custody... ask questions.. get second opinions. I've just about ran out of hope..so don't let that happen to you.
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[This message has been edited by Ter68 (edited June 13, 2000).]