To ifeelsick:
It makes me sick too,but there's nothing I can do to change it now. I do love my husband, but I know he's not perfect and I know that if the child is his, we will have to deal with that issue for 18 years, longer if the kid is in an accredited school. I wouldn't go after a married man, but there are obviously women in the world who find the band of gold a signal to go into hormonal overdrive. They haven't managed to get a husband of their own, so they go after someone else's to build their low self esteem. When the husband falls into this trap, then the wife who still loves him either has to accept, forgive and go on, or leave the relationship, and lose the love and stability she has known. I choose to forgive. He is not the only one at fault here. She is not the only one at fault either. Two wrongs don't make a right. This is my second marriage. The first was when I was young and ended quickly because he was abusive. I waited over twenty years to even consider marriage again, and never thought I would meet someone to whom I could make that kind of long term connection again. But I did. We have been together for eight years, married for three. I stood in front of my family, friends, and God and swore to love this man for life. I have no intention of breaking that promise just because he made a mistake, even though it was a considerable one. I even feel a certain amount of responsibility for this, because if things had been totally right with our relationship, I don't feel it would have happened. All I'm trying to do now, is see how deep the hole is that we are in, so we can go on from there with a fairly well thought out contingency plan. Since you are in my shoes, you know that none of the choices open to us in this situation are easy. Love and life are not perfect. I'm just trying to keep my head above water, and hopefully will be able to do so.
To: usdeeper
Making excuses? Hello!!! I put very limited information into my post. YOU DO NOT KNOW THE WHOLE SITUATION, YOU DO NOT KNOW ME, HIM, OR HER. I am not stupid, I never said my husband was a rocket scientist or perfect, because obviously he's not. She was over at the house of a married man, and she knew he was married, every time he came home from work. She followed him everywhere he went, so much so, that several family members threatened to have her arrested if she didn't leave their property. His mother was only one. She called him at work, or showed up there. She would show up at our home when he wasn't there, and give my kids some bs excuse about needing to talk to him urgently. One time she told my 21 year old son that the brakes had locked up on her car and she needed him to fix them. When asked how she got there, she responded "Oh I drove the car". Then it was her heater that wasn't working. He fixed the heater, and turned around to find her standing there buck naked. He left without saying a word. Now the normal person would have got the hint. But no, she kept up her activities until she finally wore him down, and because of the problems we were having, she won. Making excuses, PUHLEEZE. Oh, and I'm so glad you find so much humor in the situation. "Please don't go there", Again, you don't know the facts. I was bringing in 2/3rds of the income of the house, providing the only health insurance coverage, etc. Yes he worked, but I made more, and because I work in a bindery, was required to work a lot of overtime, including 9 straight days right before the Christmas holidays. I couldn't go to first shift, which was what he wanted. So he felt that I didn't care enough about the relationship to take a cut in pay to work on first, because there were no openings in my department on first. I did what I thought was best for my family, by bringing in the most money I could. Unfortunately he did not agree, and this was his way of showing it. What I did describe of that woman before was only the tip of the iceberg. To show you how cold she was, she made sure to get a job at the same place as I work, and then proceeded to tell everyone she was scared of me (I drive a forklift) because she just knew I wanted to run over her, but she didn't know why. If I sound pissy, I am sorry. I logged on to get the answer to some legal questions, and I feel as though I have been attacked. If that was not your intent, I am sorry, but that was the view from here.
To: Paula2
Yes, I definitely agree with you there. I am also glad that there is someone else who knows how low some women will sink to get what they want, or whom they want. Now for the kicker. She managed to get herself a job at the local Child Support Enforcement Office. How appropo, don't you agree? Now if anyone had any doubts about her intentions, that fact alone should clear them up. Too bad most people don't understand how conniving some females can be.
