change custody

I have had custody of my son for 13 years, now his father who just moved to Texas has informed me that in texas the child of this age may decide where he wants to live.I hesitated sending him for visitation because he said he wanted to keep him. there are two issues here. one if i send him (i live in virginia)he might keep him and try to change custody. two if i refuse to give him visitation rights than i am going against the court visitaion law. What do I do? Can he contact a judge and change custody without me knowing it? Thank you terryf

[usmcfamily]

Well, hate to break it to your ex, but even if the boy wants to live with him he will have to go back to court and get the custody order modified BEFORE he keeps him for anytime beyond his visitation right. Send your son for the visitation - you don't want to give him a chance to take YOU to court for contempt for impeding the visitation, but ONLY after you consult with your attorney (if you don't have one you are getting one today!) and make it very clear to the ex that if he keeps your son one day past the ordered visitation time you will be on his doorstep with the county sherrif and your custody order to collect the boy and HE will be taken to court for contempt. The courts do NOT appreciate people choosing to disobey their orders - that is why if he truly wants to do this he needs to go to court. Not to mention that unless this visitation is over the legal time to establish residency in Texas (most states six months - so I doubt the visit is going to be long enough)your ex will have to file his motions in the court with jurisdiction over your son - which would be the court where the original order was placed OR the court where you and your son hold residency -- and you will be served with a copy of any and all documents filed (a by law step in the process) in a case against you so no he cannot change it without you knowing.
Furthermore, while your son is of an age where some states consider his wishes you need to be concerned with what the two states I mentioned above (the one of the original order and the one you currently reside in)consider....not Texas - your ex needs to realize his residency there doesn't count when it comes to your boy (unless he intends to kidnap/keep him past the time to get residency and that wouldn't look too great for his case, would it?). It is unlikely that a custody order of 13 years will be overturned - your ex may be granted more generous (or at least different schedule to allow for the travel time/distance factor) visitation or given joint legal(not physical) custody but it is highly unlikely that they will simply grant him full custody now.
You stated you have had custody for 13 years -- how old is your son?
What has your son said about this proposed change?? (as he is at least 13 his wishes may be considered in court)
Sounds like he is trying to intimidate you a bit here - but don't worry, the law is on your side....besides, if he hasn't been in TX long enough to establish his own residency the laws there don't help him a bit anyway!