Child Custody

My husband and I live in Oregon. My husband has a child with someone else.
The boy is 3. Lately our son has been bouncing back and forth from his mom to us. My husband and I filed for visitation ourselves. The judge hasn't signed it. It was sent back to us to revise. Lastnight Austin's mom called us saying her boyfriend was hitting her and for us to come and get Austin. This isn't the first time this has happened. I called the police. When we got there we took Austin. His mom asked us if he could live with us for a while. She said that she was moving out. She's said this about 4 different times now under the same circumstances. My question is this:
What can we do legally to keep Austin at our house now? For good. Should we refile the petition for visitation and make it custody? What would happen if she fought it? Neither of us has money for an attorney. We want to make sure that 3 days from now she can't come over and say that her and her boyfriend made up and she wants Austin back. What can we do legally? My jusband and her were never married and there is nothing so far for custody or visitation because the judge hasn't signed it yet. Please help.


[This message has been edited by melissad (edited April 26, 2000).]

i feel for your problem. i really cannot give advice on the situation, however i wanted to tell you that most communities have a legal aid agency that is either free or based on your income. check your phone book for these numbers or call your chamber of commerce, they should be able to lead you to one of these agencies. good luck

Dear Mel,

Unfortunately, your case sounds more like one of child welfare than visitation, at least priority-speaking. It appears that Austin is witnessing domestic violence, which also poses a threat to his well being (he could indirectly be thrown, hit with a flying object, etc., not to mention having to listen to verbal arguments/threats between the couple). More importantly, he is physically unable to protect himself.

If I were you, I would first contact your local child welfare agency. Alert them to the fact that Austin is at ("imminent") risk of harm by his mother and her paramour, and that you and your husband are extremely concerned about his safety. They will (or should) investigate this situation within 24 hours (depending on your child welfare law). You should try to obtain a police report, or tell the intake (investigative) worker the dates/times the police intervened and let them obtain the information. Point out that there is a pattern of incidents. Intake will probably also "interview" Austin re: what have been his experiences, and if he fears either his mother or her paramour.

Let the child welfare agency know that you are -- if you are -- willing to be a permanent resource ("concurrent planning") for the child, but are willing to grant visitation (or supervised visitation) once the mother stabilizes. If they "indicate" or "found" the allegations, then she may be court ordered to attend parenting classes and comply with other recommendations or requirements, perhaps to be reviewed periodically by a juvenile court judge.

If you are prepared and willing to do so, I would recommend, also, filing for primary custody of Austin (this is a separate procedure, separate office). In the meantime, keep asking Austin's mom if you can keep him "for another day...." As a parent, I wouldn't return him to that environment.

Austin is far too young and vulnerable to be experiencing these things. He is definitely at risk for developmental and/or emotional problems if this is not nipped in the bud. More than anything, he needs to have stability, security, safety, and proper care, control & supervision. He should be focusing on potty training, counting to 10, and learning ABC's and how to use crayons -- not dealing with parental issues.

At this point, I think the ball is in your court, and it's up to you to prevent him from further bouncing.

As far as I can decipher, there's no dire need for you to retain an attorney, at this juncture.

*************
This is not professional legal advice, but rather information provided based on Social Work experience with custody & child welfare in Pennsylvania.

[This message has been edited by indysucks (edited May 02, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by indysucks (edited May 02, 2000).]