Child Custody Modification

After 5 years of being divorced and sharing joint custody of our 6 year old son, my ex-husband is taking me back to court for full custody of our son. We live in Mississippi. He says he can give our son a better life because he(my ex) has more money than I do and has a nicer house than I do. I am re-married to a wonderful man that is super with my children. I do have an attorney. My ex buys our son anything he wants. Their backyard looks like toysRus. I'm glad that my ex can buy my son all the things he wants, but he is using that to win my son over. My ex has visitation from Thursday night until Monday morning. He works late, so my son has to stay with his grandmother(ex's mother) on Thursday and Friday nights. And on the weekend my ex and my son have nothing but play time! I have my son during the week, so there are more rules at my house. A scheduled bed time, homework, etc. My ex says he can give our son more. More what??? Toys? Is that so important that my son could be taken away from me? I know that I am a good mother to my son, but my ex makes me feel like I'm not worthy of our son because I can't give him all that my ex can give him. But I do give him all my love and all the quality time I can give him. And I do buy him things that he WANTS when I can. And I always buy him the things that he NEEDS!! There is a difference, isn't there?

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worriedMOM2

[MySonsMom]

Unless there is a substantial change of circumstance, custody won't be overturned. Judges know that kids are "influenced" by less rules, more play and more toys. I would say not to worry, without having anything "on" you, a judge normally doesn't overturn custody for petty reasons as such. Good luck!

ps. You don't need to give a child EVERYTHING he/she wants..it is very unhealty..

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~MySonsMom~

I am curious.. does your ex get him EVERY weekend ?..

As the other mother replied, I do not believe that a judge is going to change a custody arrangement simply because of such a materialistic reason. If anything, a judge might question your ex's values for using such a flimsy excuse to upheave a child's living arrangement. Just keep your chin up and make sure you have a lawyer who is going to be agressive about your case. How old is the child? Also, if the child is going to be at grandma's for a majority of the time, a judge will consider that as well. If at all possible, try and reason with your ex. Tension between you two will be felt by the child. Make him fully aware of how this would affect the child. Is your child going to have to change schools or leava a best friend? These are all things that your ex should be aware of. As long as you live a resectable life, I do not think money should be an issue, unless your means are so much less than his that your lawyer will not be of the same quality as yours. From reading your letter, I got the impression that your are a caring mother and I know that goodness does prevail. I will pray for you!

goodmommy

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by usdeeper:
[b]I am curious.. does your ex get him EVERY weekend ?.. [/b]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Yes, unfortunately he does have our son every weekend. Not by my choice though. At the time of our divorce I was going through a very difficult time because my 2 children and I were in a tornado that ripped right through our trailer. We lived, but were severly injured. Anyway, I was not physically or emotionally strong enough to "fight" my ex. So I just signed what he wanted me to. He abused me during our relationship, so I was scared of him anyway. Now that I am married to a wonderful, supportive man I am able to stand up to my ex., without being afraid. And ever since I have started to stand up to my ex he has been going balistic! He makes threats to my husband all the time. Anyway...he is taking me back to court to try to get full custody of our son. I truly think it's a "POWER" thing for him. He thinks he is so much better than me, than anyone! I know that I am a good mom to my children. I just don't understand why some people have to try to prove something, knowing that they are hurting others. My son has everything he needs with me. I can't buy him the world but I can give myself, my love, my time to him.

[MySonsMom]

I can't imagine having my child gone EVERY weekend..how in the world do you make plans with him if he is gone all weekends..If anything, I would have THAT changed..You deserve weekend time with him too..Good luck and God bless!

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~MySonsMom~

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by worriedMOM2:
[b] Yes, unfortunately he does have our son every weekend. [/b]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You should file a motion into court to get this changed. There are few judges that would deny your request for the parent with physical custody to have the child every other weekend.

I suggest you call a few attornies and start fighting back...

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by usdeeper:
[b] You should file a motion into court to get this changed. There are few judges that would deny your request for the parent with physical custody to have the child every other weekend.

I suggest you call a few attornies and start fighting back...[/b]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
I do have an attorney and my ex. and I are going back to court next week. He is bring me back to court to try to get full custody of our son, even though he works crazy long hours and our son would spend 99% of the time with his grandmother(ex.'s mother). He thinks just because he has more money and a nicer house than I do that he (or should I say grandmother) should have our son full time. I am in a position to where I don't have to work so I can be home 100% of the time for my children. My new husband and I have even started a youth soccer organization for the kids in our community. I was unable to fight for what I wanted at the time of our divorce, but I'm ready now. I have a great attorney and a super husband that is very supportive. So now it's up to the LORD above and the judge as to what happens. I can only pray, stand my ground, and fight for my son. I just hope and pray it all goes my way this go-around.

I would be shocked if he was able to get full custody.. just think, if he does, then use the visitation schedule that he uses, ie, he gets the child Monday to Thursday and you have him Thursday to Monday. Ok, I know that is not the solution but I would find that ironic if you could

Anyway.. money does not buy custody and providing you have documented everything, long working hours etc, then you should be ok. Make sure you file to change that visitation! it is not healthy for him to get the child EVERY weekend.

Good luck.. and PLEASE write back and let us know what happens.. we get lots of questions here and it is great to get real life experiences..

If you haven't already, I would start keeping a log of every threat that your ex makes against you and your husband. If your ex is so violent perhaps YOU should consider filing for full custody. Your son will learn how to grow up to be father and husband by the example that is set in front of him. If your husband is as supportive as you say he is, perhaps he should be more of an influence on your son than your ex.